Just moved to a new town - it’s awful & I don’t know what to do

[Scarytown]

Moved to a town in South East a few months ago for work. It’s awful and quite frankly I feel scared living here. I’m a quiet unassuming person who hates conflict and like most people just want to live my life.

I moved here for work - a promotion (think promotion in a well known supermarket) but I am now wondering if I can stick it or should contact work and ask to move back to my home store, embarrassing as that would be.

I’m from Manchester so it’s not like I’m some small town girl unused to busy city life and all that goes with it. But this town, well it’s just awful and I’m scared to go out.

A few awful things have happened which may be clouding my view and maybe I’ve just been unlucky but I’m not sure. The town centre is awful, full of what seems like people who don’t and have never worked. Quite aggressive, swearing shouting and smoking weed. Work colleagues have told me not to go into the town as “normal” people avoid it.

Ive had 2 lots of road rage directed at me in the town , both by men in big 4x4 cars. One followed me home and I literally had to run inside my flat, I was so shaken up. I was woken at 3 am to swearing and shouting in the street, looked out the window there were 2 police vans and loads of police arresting some men a few doors down. Every night I hear swearing and screaming from this house and men sit out front smoking weed. I dared to walk past the other day & was subjected to a load of abuse.

The people at work are nice but most of them don’t live in the town and they all have families so can’t really socialise with them outside of work. I’m in my twenties and single.

Sat in my car now after being given a mouthful of abuse after I pulled over to let a car pass, got thanked in the form of a load of abuse by the bloke driving.

Im so miserable ☹️

I grew up where your parents live. It was fine, but there's bugger all there.
New Ash Green is in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do.
Gravesend was always a bit grubby and rough round the edges but it sounds like it's gone downhill.
I went to school in Dartford and it was no better.

Move. Life is too short.

Also just seen your update of it being Gravesend...

I work with teens from gangs, county lines etc, and have fairly regularly knocked on the doors of crack dens in search of my kids... no issue walking round on my own late at night, even in colourful areas of London etc

Gravesend was the only place I've ever been that I felt genuine concern for my own safety/ability to keep myself safe... and I only went to the aldi 🤣🤦‍♀️

I'm finding it quite funny that people think maybe there are problems recruiting staff for a well known supermarket in/near Gravesend. I have a relative applying like mad for shop work in the area at the moment, along with many other people...
I wouldn't wander around Gravesend at night, but that goes for a lot of town centres. The range of shops is uninspiring, again that's quite common in towns these days. Having lived in the area most of my life until moving to the countryside, I've not experienced any more aggro driving around the area than I do anywhere else. Edit to add - that goes for walking about the town centre and surrounding areas in the daytime. No problems at all.
Unfortunately it does sound as if Op's ended up living in a rough part though, that's a real shame. There are quite reasonable places to live in the Gravesend area, also in Northfleet.

Unless you can move house somewhere safer and quieter then contact your boss for a managed move.

I took a job years ago and from the off I knew it wasn't for me. So I jumped ship quickly. It's not unusual.

Hi!

I am originally from Medway and currently live here with my mum 👋🏽

Gravesend is not a nice area at all - I can advise you on much better areas. Given your age, I’d recommend Rochester. It is much nicer and has a nice high street with boutiques, and places to go out. Generally the people are a bit better too. Ebbsfleet is ok too with the new housing and it’s close to Bluewater / good travel links in to London.

Try to avoid Gravesend if you can. I know you work there, which is fine, but I wouldn’t recommend living there. X

Halling, Larkfield, Aylesford are quite nice villages too. A bit closer towards Maidstone.

Agree with this! These parts of West Kent are lovely.

Whitstable is also nice.

Broadstairs is beyond lovely I would go as far to say its one of the finest seaside towns in the country. Certainly in the top 10 by far but a bit far from Gravesend.

@vera99 totally agree- I never understand why folks don't pop there rather than drag themselves to st ives , very similar feel to me but unless you live in West Country it's way closer

So everybody moves out to the naice areas and the town you hate becomes a ghetto... that'll sort it.
Happened where I live but there are signs of regeneration. Gravesend is full of history but maybe that doesn't interest you.
Apparently I shouldn't walk through my town centre at night. I do when I get off the train, apart from being offered a swig from a bottle never had a problem.
The street I live I. Has a popular pub at the end, maybe a bit of loud chat ( bollocks) on a Saturday night but again not a problem to me.
I embrace the good bits and support/ help .the people trying to improve where I l live.
Personally I couldn't be a stepford wife!

And Whitstable able has become a crowded hell hole for locals, La ck of parking, expensive and very dfl because nobody local can afford the houses now... lots of second homes too.

Don't judge a place by one aspect only... speak as one who loves a naice wine or fresh caught fish, broaden your outlook, there is good everywhere 😏

People are a bit better quote!!! Are they, as in what yardstick!?

Yup I did a followup post when they mentioned NAG. I went to the primary school there, folks sti live there. I wouldn't. I mean it's fine nice nothing wrong with it but absolutely nothing to do there

Shhh - don't spoil it for us ! It even has a week-long brilliant folk festival which we stumbled upon this year with amazing music not hard core folky at all. First visit - lived in Welling for 6 years, but I'll be back for sure.

Leysdown-on-Sea .....I'll get my coat !

Know Leysdown well, drive on past the main drag, you'll find unspoilt beaches, nature reserve and a naturist beach. Walks across the marsh to Harty... as I say broaden your outlook 🙄

Gravesend is among the top 5 most dangerous medium-sized towns in Kent, and is among the top 20 most dangerous overall out of Kent's 331 towns, villages, and cities.

The overall crime rate in Gravesend in 2022 was 118 crimes per 1,000 people. This compares poorly to Kent's overall crime rate, coming in 34% higher than the Kent rate of 88 per 1,000 residents.

For England, Wales, and Northern Ireland as a whole, Gravesend is the 36th most dangerous medium-sized town, and the 473rd most dangerous location out of all towns, cities, and villages.

In March 2022, Gravesend had the worst crime rate in Kent for burglary, with 42 crimes reported and a crime rate of 0.72 per 1,000 inhabitants.

May 2022 was also a bad month for Gravesend residents, when it was Kent's most dangerous area for robbery, recording 11 crimes at a rate of 0.19 per 1,000 residents.

Gravesend recorded 8 reports of theft from the person during August 2022, making its crime rate of 0.14 the worst for theft from the person in Kent that month.

The most common crimes in Gravesend are violence and sexual offences, with 3,240 offences during 2022, giving a crime rate of 55. This is 2.4% higher than 2021's figure of 3,164 offences and a difference of 1.29 from 2021's crime rate of 54.

Gravesend's least common crime is bicycle theft, with 53 offences recorded in 2022, an increase of 61% from 2021's figure of 33 crimes.

New ash green is horrible OP. You won't be improving your situation to be moving there. Have you tried the outskirts? Bean, Istead rise, Longfield, Higham.

I know and the snobby secret village which I have scandalously walked through without issue. Robbie Williams filmed a music video on the road to Shellness.

That's a very reassuring post for the OP, Valerie, well done. Bear up OP. Speak to your employers, they'll be aware of local issues and may be able to recommend somewhere you won't feel so alone and vulnerable.

Move!
Just move to another town. Lots Kent is a bit shit. Ask your colleagues where they recommend.

I moved to Kent 12 years ago from Sussex. Some parts are lovely but Gravesend really is a hole. This is coming from someone who grew up in Crawley(!) - which I have fond memories of back in the 90s.

If you love your job then move to a different area and give it 6 months. If you still hate it, move back up north. Tell your parents. We’ve all made choices we regret in our twenties.

I will say that when we visited Manchester we weren’t expecting people to be so friendly, it’s not like that down south. Try Meet-up or look into clubs/groups to meet like-minded others.

If you move to SE London you’ll meet more people your age but it might be more expensive. Rochester and Sevenoaks are nice as are lots of the villages that other posters have mentioned. Maidstone is in easy reach as well but comes with a health warning at night. Or move to a town on the A2 route like Faversham or Whitstable.

Some people have mentioned Canterbury - we live 10 minutes away and the town centre has really gone downhill. Wouldn’t feel safe on the high street at night these days unfortunately.

Someone mentioned Margate - for the love of god don’t move there! Absolute cesspit.

The weed smoking and parents screaming at kids - unfortunately you get that pretty much anywhere nowadays.

Feel free to DM, good luck!

Margate is gentrifying now very arty in places and with a Tate art gallery on the front. It's a wannabe new Brighton but still a way to go.

Agreed, we used to have friends who lived in the old town which is lovely. As is Westgate-On-Sea.

@Aroma220

I lived in Canterbury nearly 30 years ago and return every year for the weekend. Didn't go for a couple of years due to COVID then returned last year and noticed a big change in demographic.

Nasons the dept store has closed and I think Debenhams too. Some other vacant shops. But jesus wept there must be a dozen money laundering pits barber shops that sprung up. Personally I don't like pedestrianised High Streets, I think they attract beggars and general twattery.

On the plus side I didn't see hoardes of French school kids spraying that silly string stuff everywhere.