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Original poster

Just moved to a new town - it’s awful & I don’t know what to do

254 replies

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:49

Moved to a town in South East a few months ago for work. It’s awful and quite frankly I feel scared living here. I’m a quiet unassuming person who hates conflict and like most people just want to live my life.

I moved here for work - a promotion (think promotion in a well known supermarket) but I am now wondering if I can stick it or should contact work and ask to move back to my home store, embarrassing as that would be.

I’m from Manchester so it’s not like I’m some small town girl unused to busy city life and all that goes with it. But this town, well it’s just awful and I’m scared to go out.

A few awful things have happened which may be clouding my view and maybe I’ve just been unlucky but I’m not sure. The town centre is awful, full of what seems like people who don’t and have never worked. Quite aggressive, swearing shouting and smoking weed. Work colleagues have told me not to go into the town as “normal” people avoid it.

Ive had 2 lots of road rage directed at me in the town , both by men in big 4x4 cars. One followed me home and I literally had to run inside my flat, I was so shaken up. I was woken at 3 am to swearing and shouting in the street, looked out the window there were 2 police vans and loads of police arresting some men a few doors down. Every night I hear swearing and screaming from this house and men sit out front smoking weed. I dared to walk past the other day & was subjected to a load of abuse.

The people at work are nice but most of them don’t live in the town and they all have families so can’t really socialise with them outside of work. I’m in my twenties and single.

Sat in my car now after being given a mouthful of abuse after I pulled over to let a car pass, got thanked in the form of a load of abuse by the bloke driving.

Im so miserable ☹️

OP posts:
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7
TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/08/2023 12:04

I'm guessing London.

It's London isn't it? Grin

PermanentTemporary · 22/08/2023 12:05

Ironically @TheYearOfSmallThings I was going to suggest she move into London and commute out, I think it would be much nicer 😅

ShowOfHands · 22/08/2023 12:05

DH is from Gravesend originally and we went back recently to visit a few people. It's a really difficult place. It's so clear it lost its industry and has never recovered. It's one of the most depressing places I've ever been. However, DH has family not far from Gravesend and they live in some really lovely villages. If moving is an option, you could commute.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/08/2023 12:05

Aw it's Gravesend - certainly not the Ritz but it's not THAT bad. I wouldn't fear to live there, but I wouldn't be planning to stay.

UniversalTruth · 22/08/2023 12:06

Where is your office/store? I'm sure someone can recommend a nicer area for you. Unfortunately there will be a pay off with distance v nice v cost though.

Thisweeksname · 22/08/2023 12:06

I would move OP, life is too short to be stuck living somewhere awful. You could either try renting somewhere else or move back. I would be exactly the same, nobody wants to live amongst yobs, you should be able to feel safe where you live. You also want somewhere you can build a social life.

Original poster
Scarytown · 22/08/2023 12:11

I’ve just never lived anywhere like this before. I’m from Manchester, went to Uni in Nottingham and lived in various towns and cities for work and never witnessed such thuggish behaviour. There is a lovely Sainsburys here and had a nice time mooching round, had a coffee in the cafe, felt OK then walking back to the car heard a woman swearing at her kids, pulling the little kids arm like she was going to pull it out it’s socket and was looked up & down really aggressively by another woman who was smoking weed. I know these sound trivial but it’s really upsetting me. Maybe I am just homesick ☹️

OP posts:
SpamFrittersYouSay · 22/08/2023 12:16

Leave.
It's a grim place . I live in Kent and I've only been there once. Never again.

PermanentTemporary · 22/08/2023 12:16

Please on behalf of all southerners, there are nicer places! I'm sure you are homesick but you could feel a lot better somewhere else.

cocksstrideintheevening · 22/08/2023 12:21

Oh god, go home! Unless you can move somewhere else and commute in. I wouldn't go anywhere near Gravesend.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/08/2023 12:22

It's horrid, move !

Come and live in Greenwich/Blackheath and take the train to work - it's lovely over here (about 50 minutes on the train)

jessycake · 22/08/2023 12:22

I think a lot of us that have lived in the South East for years are homesick too , its really gone down hill .

FerryPink · 22/08/2023 12:24

@Scarytown I hope you have tweaked some details as otherwise I think you are quite identifiable

pontipinemum · 22/08/2023 12:25

Honestly move. If you're not happy don't stay. Completely different circumstances but I stayed far too long in a job that made me so so miserable. It had such a bad affect on my MH I would never do that again.

rosesandcandlelight · 22/08/2023 12:26

There's a reason why there's the saying "choose the worst house in the best area". It's because you can improve a house, but you'll never be happy in the wrong area.

If the promotion is likely to be worthwhile for your career then I'd move and commute for a while. Life is definitely too short to hate the place you live, and by the sound of it that's really unlikely to change.

Aworldofmyown · 22/08/2023 12:28

Could you move elsewhere? Family member was happy in Rochester for a good few years.

kistanbul · 22/08/2023 12:29

Move to London if you can afford it. Woolwich would be fun given your age. Rochester might be alright.

Don’t move to a lovely village if you’re single and in your 20s!

VictoriaVenkman · 22/08/2023 12:31

Can you move somewhere nicer and commute to your workplace?

TheBirdintheCave · 22/08/2023 12:31

RoyKentsTieDyeTop · 22/08/2023 11:55

Is it Crawley?

Pretty damning that I thought the same thing 😂

LaMadameCholet · 22/08/2023 12:32

Come up the A2 a bit to Bexley, it’s much nicer. Honestly there are lots of nicer places to live not far way.

Shoulddomore · 22/08/2023 12:34

As PPs have said, if you like the job I would move somewhere nicer nearby. Maybe take advice from your colleagues on where they recommend and the towns they use?

Bromptotoo · 22/08/2023 12:37

How long are you committed to your house/flat for?

Most towns have districts like you describe where society seems to be on its uppers.

Can you speak to colleagues about where might be better either within the town or, perhaps more likley, its dormitory villages?

Hankunamatata · 22/08/2023 12:38

I'd try moving house first.

GravesendResident · 22/08/2023 12:39

OP you have my sympathy because I experienced similar. As you can probably tell from my username I live in Gravesend. I am not a native and moved from London in COVID. The town has many, many bad points but also good. It is a very divided place. Some parts are terrible and I made the mistake of living in one for a year when I first moved there (town centre). It was, and still is, awful at night. A half kilometer further out in the right direction and it's a very different story: leafy, peaceful and a real sense of community with my neighbors. To be honest - and I hate to say it because it sounds very snobby - you just have to make sure you go to the right pubs, the right restaurants, the right supermarket and you actually see a very middle class side to the town full of professionals (mostly moved out of London) and a very, very different atmosphere.

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