Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Can I charge kids friends for lunch?

353 replies

MotherHubbardEmptyCupboard · 16/08/2023 10:38

I am on maternity leave and so am home a lot, surprise baby so my older children are tweens/teens. Lots of their friends have either parents that work from home in the family room/parents at work/houses not geared to lots of children so ours has become the place to be.

To be clear I do not mind at all that the friends/neighbours are here, we are very lucky with a very large garden and self contained summer house so they do not really come in the house or cause any issue at all (and they all seem lovely)

The problem is food, I started doing lunch for everyone at the start of the holidays (I see that I went wrong here but this is the first time I've had the summer off, normally I work so holidays are clubs/grandparents etc)
I thought that it would balance out as my kids went to other friends but all summer they have been here, and it is getting very expensive (and I am only doing cheap food, pizzas/sandwiches/pasta etc)

I'm not sure how to approach it, or what to do I don't really want to stop them coming over as that isn't the issue, can I ask their parents for a contribution and if so what is reasonable? -they are often here between 9am and 6pm (enforced as I was ending up providing breakfast and now they have to go home for dinner)

TLDR- can I ask parents for money for food when their kid is regularly at mine for 8+ hours a day?

I am about to sort out baby so I will come back but it maybe delayed. (I've NC to not link but if you recognise me please feel free to speak irl)

OP posts:
Scottishflower65 · 16/08/2023 10:42

Ask them to bring their own packed lunches?

GigiAnnna · 16/08/2023 10:42

I get why it's a problem but no I don't think you can ask for money. I'd get your child to meet their friends somewhere else on some days or ask them to come after lunch. I'd just provide snacks and drinks, not meals.

Badback44 · 16/08/2023 10:43

No you can’t, I agree ask them to bring packed lunches

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Hoppinggreen · 16/08/2023 10:43

I don’t think you can ask for money, perhaps you need to send them home at lunchtime a few times then contact the parents and and say it’s such a shame to have to do that so why don’t they bring a packed lunch?

FoodieToo · 16/08/2023 10:45

Oh my god, you’re a SAINT 😂!!!! Can’t think of anything worse .

In response to your question, send them home . Even sending a packed lunch indicates that they are ‘yours’ for the day !

FourTeaFallOut · 16/08/2023 10:46

Jesus, op, you're a saint. But enough is enough, stop putting on any food and they'll figure it out - either popping home for lunch or bringing their own.

IfOn · 16/08/2023 10:46

I agree ask them to bring their own packed lunch or have your DC meet them elsewhere.

StopMindlesslyScrolling · 16/08/2023 10:47

Just stroll over to them and say "it's lunchtime now, you need to go home and get fed; you can come back after X time."

Or go for the packed lunch option.

Quite frankly I think their parents are taking the piss with you being their free childminder for the summer, but if you're ok with it...

Zola1 · 16/08/2023 10:48

My daughters mates are always here and I always end up feeding everyone too.. I don't know the answer but no you can't ask for money

FourTeaFallOut · 16/08/2023 10:48

😁 x-post. Although I do thing if two random people call you a saint simultaneously then a sainthood should be mailed out in the post.

Whataretheodds · 16/08/2023 10:49

How did you enforce 9 -6?

You can't charge, you'll just need to let them know that you can't give them lunch every day so they'll need to go home/out for their lunch.

Tdcp · 16/08/2023 10:50

My nieces and nephews are a lot younger but they bring their own lunches the majority of the time if they're coming over. I don't have an endless pit of food to supply unfortunately! If the teens are hungry they can go home and come back if they're that bothered 😅

Wakintoblueskies · 16/08/2023 10:51

FourTeaFallOut · 16/08/2023 10:46

Jesus, op, you're a saint. But enough is enough, stop putting on any food and they'll figure it out - either popping home for lunch or bringing their own.

This.

Honestly I’d throw on microwave popcorn and let them take it out to their hangout spot. I’d obviously give them water too. 😀

Coolblur · 16/08/2023 10:53

You can't ask for money, no, but you can and should send them home for lunch telling them they're welcome to come back afterwards. Don't start the packed lunch idea, you're not running a holiday club. Their parents are taking the piss, and I bet they never reciprocate. I've been there

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 10:53

I don’t think you can really ask for money.

The tween friends, you could say to their parents that you’re busy with baby, so ask that they send lunch.

For the teens. have a chat with your teens and get them to go to the shop with their friends for lunch which they can buy between them, even if it’s stuff they need to come back and make or you/they need to cook.

We end up feeding lots too through the holidays, 2 shopping deliveries each week. They generally sort themselves out though and they’re all lovely so we don’t mind.

Wenfy · 16/08/2023 10:53

Just tell parents you’re finding it a bit too much with the baby and preparing for school and could they stop the kids coming around until school starts.

shiningstar2 · 16/08/2023 10:54

I would not ask their parents for a contribution. As the kids never come to theirs like they won't have any understanding of how much it's costing you. They won't think wow op has been feeding 10 teens all summer long. They probably haven't given it much though in the normal way of things early teen kids feed their selves and any friend with them something quick and easy. They will be just think I didn't realize they were all hanging with you every day. They might send a contribution but I think it is more likely that they will stop their child coming and tell their child that ops child, not the whole group, is welcome for lunch at theirs. They will think that resolves it. They will be sorry to realize that they have been taking advantage but they will not necessarily feel that they need to help facilitate you having a whole bunch of kids at your house every day.
Of course this can't go on op. A big expense for you. I would simply say to your kids that you are not doing lunch for everyone every day any more. Just stop. You could do it once a week if you feel like it. Tell your kids they can all come on Mondays for example but rest of week they can come before lunch and go home or after lunch. You don't even have to go that. Maybe other parents will pick up the slack, probably not, but that's not on you. 💐

CurlewKate · 16/08/2023 10:54

They are teens and 20s! I'd talk to my own kids about it- they'd talk to their friends and come up with a solution. Different if they were 10.

Cheeesus · 16/08/2023 10:55

Can you speak to the children? Tell them you are really happy to have them hang out for most of the day, but could they go back for lunch.

Daughtersandbristolian · 16/08/2023 10:55

The parents are taking advantage you are not a summer camp!

adriftabroad · 16/08/2023 10:57

Zola1 · 16/08/2023 10:48

My daughters mates are always here and I always end up feeding everyone too.. I don't know the answer but no you can't ask for money

Agreed. Exactly the same here. It costs me a fortune, (getting divorced absolutely no spare money) but you cannot ask for money. It is part of parenting teens I suppose.

I am proud her friends feel welcome tbh.

FourTeaFallOut · 16/08/2023 10:58

CurlewKate · 16/08/2023 10:54

They are teens and 20s! I'd talk to my own kids about it- they'd talk to their friends and come up with a solution. Different if they were 10.

Tweens and teens, no twenties, that would be weird.

Clymene · 16/08/2023 10:58

I'd tell your kids you're not doing lunch any more and they need to tell their friends.

And when they arrive say 'hope you've brought a packed lunch!' and if they say no, tell them they're going to have to go home for lunch then but welcome to come back after.

Be smiley but firm.

NewNovember · 16/08/2023 11:00

No of course you can't ask guests to pay for lunch.

Konfetka · 16/08/2023 11:02

Cheeky parents. They're benefiting hugely from your generosity, the least they could do is reimburse you for food.