What the fuck made this bastard

[WhatcreaturemaderthishHellWEB]

What on earth made this??

Looks like maybe a house martin nest? It’ll be a bird, not an evil weevil….hopefully….😉

Looks like web...

Looks like a nest

It's not a nest! Look at the size of it compared to the drainpipe! House martins are small, but not that small...

Wasps?

Wasps or swallows.

Looks like a hornet nest

If it looks papery I would say wasps too. Swallows and martins look more like dried mud spat out and wiped (which it is). What does the texture look like?

It looks wispy and web like
Should I phone some one

It saddens me how estranged from nature people have become.

If it's wispy and not papery it's a spider's web. It's not inside your house, it's outside, catching flies before they enter your house. It's just living its life. Please leave it.

A while ago possibly the beginning of this summer or late last summer I did see a large black thing high up on the wall crawling and it went to next doors drain pipe... I thought it may be a bat because we do have bat's... Now I'm not so sure...

@CosyCoffee it's absolutely HUGE

It's also right by my bedroom window!

There are more insects for it to catch outside than there are in your bedroom, so it has no reason to leave its web. Try not to worry about it.

It might be worth asking on the British Spiders Facebook page. There's lots of very knowledgeable people on there and they could tell you whether any spiders make webs that look like that and what type of spider they are.

I agree with this.

OP, unless your pipe is industrial, the nest is not massive. It's on the outside of your house. I don't know whether it's housing a spider or wasps, but they're highly unlikely to bother you. Leave it be.

If you destroy it where do you think spidey will go?

Leave it be, it’s outside!

Just leave it alone, it's not doing any harm.

I agree with those who say to leave it be. I'd be fascinated to know more though...can you get a closer shot of it?

Looks like a spiders web to me, it’s quite impressive.
Its not in your house and it won’t bother you so just leave it alone

If it hasn't eaten or impregnated you by now I think you are safe. It could be a fairy nest, or a nest of fire lizards who will hatch and fly in one day and gaze into your eyes and be bonded to you forever (and can probably be trained to do housework). I would just leave them be.

I couldn't reach it if I wanted to. Im far more concerned that somehow it's a non uk dangerous spider. Because it's absolutely massive. And I did see a large black thing rawlings across neighbours adjoin wall a while ago I assumed was a bat...

That’s proper scary. 👽

Funnel web spider? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funnel-web_spider