How is everyone else surviving in this day and age!?

[Mummyrere]

I’m just so mind blown how other people are living -

I see so many people with mortgages, going on holidays, having nice cars etc etc and there jobs are obviously not that well paid! My partner works really hard and brings home £5000 a month. It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month, getting absolutely rinsed paying rent (in not even an expensive place!) and we can’t afford a mortgage, and really doesn’t look like we ever would be able to. It’s very depressing and I’m feeling so sorry for my partner who is working hard. I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!? Ahhh just having a stress tonight!

In reality, they are probably whacking it on credit cards and living outside of their means.

I honestly can't understand how you can struggle on 5k. Are you living in an expensive area? Paying of debts?

£5k net with one child and no childcare costs?

You're not struggling. You're just spending your money on different expensive things to the things you mention.

Do you live in London?

5k net is a lot of money! You must have very very expensive rent??

My husband and I together are on less monthly than your partner is bringing home alone and we have a mortgage and go on holiday twice a year, eat reasonably well and can afford all our bills. Neither of us ever works more than 40 hours a week, usually closer to 35. We have modest savings and can afford the occasional treat. Our daughter wants for nothing. Nothing on credit cards, paid those off before we got a mortgage. Unless your rent is extortionate I'm not actually sure how you're struggling on 5k a month, people on a lot less are managing ok. What are you spending it on?

You shouldn’t have given up work. It’s not ‘your’ wage going on childcare it’s some of yours and some of your partners. Your peers might struggle a bit now but if they keep their hand in at work they will probably have pay rises etc to bring in more hence can live the lifestyle you see!

We have a comfortable family income but I understand what you're saying. I seem to know lots of people who earn less than us who always seem to have once in a lifetime holidays, extensive renovation projects or fancy cars etc. I don't know how they do it but I can't compete. Social media makes it seem worse also.
I imagine you live in an expensive part of the UK? I think the early years with kids are always expensive even if you're SAHM or forking out for childcare. I would look into returning to work when your child is about 18months and putting a strict plan in place to save for a mortgage.
Before then I would sit down and reassess your finances. It sounds like your partner has a decent salary and you could definitely save a bit if you reevaluate.

I had the good fortune to be born in 1973 so was able to get on the property ladder when I was 26. I also avoided student tuition fees and we fixed our mortgage last year on 1.85% It's the luck of timing for me. We still watch our budget closely, though.

Many simply live within their means

Also if you’re not working and your partner earns all the money you really ought to get married if you’re not already!

No mortgage / rent or childcare (we did pay it over the years but paid off and DC older). Makes a huge difference.

Our income is £5k now (it's gone down hugely as my self employment has gone down a third)

our outgoings are £5,500 every month before we buy food or put petrol in the car - our mortgage has gone up hugely as has everything else

We can no longer afford to live and are about to put our house on the market

We are literally considering ALL options. Right now I'm looking at boats and decamping to one of them

Our rent is now 50% of our combined take home
I have a full time job and run a side business so I work evenings and weekends as well
I have a lot of debt too accrued over the years from big bills like car, vet etc
It's hard

Where on earth is your 5 grand each month going if it’s not on nice cars, eating out and holidays?!

Struggling on 5k a month with one child, no holidays and no childcare suggests that your rent is extortionate or you have a lot of other financial commitments.

I’m a bit confused. £5k a month and you’re scrimping and saving but you have no childcare costs!

me and my children live off £2k a month. We have a foreign holiday each year and days out, they are in various clubs and I have a social life. Yes I am very economical (picnics, no restaurant meals with them) etc most of the time but this allows the odd theme park, weekend away.

I have no idea how you are scrimping by on £5k a month unless you are actually living quite a high standard of lifestyle

is it 5K take home or 5K gross?

Do you know exactly where the money is going? He may not be showing you everything.

Another one who thinks it is shortsighted to give up your job. Your dc will not need expensive childcare soon. Why do you feel you have a right to luxuries just because you think your dh is a high earner if you yourself do not work?

How much is your rent @Mummyrere?

Our family take home is much less than 5k a month. We're probably not buying as many frivolous treats as previously but managing to service debts, safe for holidays etc

5k a month take home pay with no childcare to pay for, it's difficult to believe that you're struggling. Where does your money go?

A weekend or evening job could bring in a few hundred pounds each month, which surely would make things a bit more comfortable?

Then again, having little in the way of disposable income - if I understand you correctly - on a net monthly income of 5K with no childcare, one child and not living in a nice area suggests you’re both not good with money. Do you both have a joint bank account? And do you have full transparency about where the 5K is going?

£3000 on rent and bills
£700 on train fair for partners work
£300 on petrol (for work mostly as he needs to travel)
£1000 left -
£400 on food and toiletries, cleaning stuff etc
£50 on baby, nappies, wipes, etc etc
£200 for luxuries (including birthdays, outings, coffee or a lunch etc etc)
£150 on other bills (phone bill, health insurance)
£200 into savings - which usually get used for things coming up - car breaking etc.

Im not saying we are completely strapped to the point of being skint and in debt - but what I’m trying to say is why is it someone who is earning a good wage isn’t able to afford a mortgage, or having a holiday is a big stress about dipping into our savings or if we did ever afford a mortgage we would have no savings left for if anything comes up.

What are you spending your money on?

Even in London £5k for the three of you should be enough.

I’d go back to work - it’s not wasted money and you’ll be more financially secure

5k a month should mean you could live very comfortably. Unless you live in London and your rent is in the thousands?

You can defo afford a mortgage, is it saving the deposit that's a problem?