How is everyone else surviving in this day and age!?

[Mummyrere]

I’m just so mind blown how other people are living -

I see so many people with mortgages, going on holidays, having nice cars etc etc and there jobs are obviously not that well paid! My partner works really hard and brings home £5000 a month. It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month, getting absolutely rinsed paying rent (in not even an expensive place!) and we can’t afford a mortgage, and really doesn’t look like we ever would be able to. It’s very depressing and I’m feeling so sorry for my partner who is working hard. I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!? Ahhh just having a stress tonight!

I don’t understand the travel costs.

If DP commutes, spending £700 a month on train fares, why/how is he also spending £300 a month on business use petrol? And surely that would be claimed back anyway?

It sounds like you can’t afford to live where you do. As you aren’t married, it’s high risk not to work. Are you paying into a private pension?

We have spent 5k on an all inclusive holiday this year however our mortgage is £800 and all our bills / petrol / food doesn’t go over £2k a month including our mortgage payment.

We save up to buy cars out right so no car payments and we have just entered our 30 free hours so childcare bills have dropped massively.

We live up north so houses are cheaper (400k 4 bed detached), no credit cards and we don’t have a lot of takeaways or eat out often. We don’t buy clothes massively, just not into clothes. We brought our first house at 23 after living in a questionable flat for a while to save a deposit, then over paid like crazy on the house, worked our bum off at work to earn more money and do up the house. Sold at the right time 5 years ago to upgrade them had kids. Guess what I’m saying is we have always planned out our finances but have also been quite luckily.

Hi the majority off people are struggling. I hate to judge but I am a single mum earning at least half of the amount you are. It is so hard

£1000 on travel to work is just ridiculous OP. And it’s not even like you are living somewhere cheap and commuting in if your rent and bills are £3k. That’s how the rest of us are surviving and going on nice holidays - you must know your costs are astronomical?!

We live in the middle of nowhere and both work. Dh commutes by train and I take the car. The commute is because we live in the middle of nowhere hence we don’t have your rental bill which is gigantic if dh has to pay 1000 for travel for work. Next 400 a month on food and toiletries jumps out at me first, then 200 luxuries and 200 savings as we never had savings as don’t all the people you see going on holidays who probably use loans or credit. We all live differently op x

You can totally save on the shopping budget - 2 adults and a baby can get by on far less than £100 plus a week

Rent and travel. There's your answer. You really need to look whether you can move. Look at places on the train route to where your partner works.

You could rent a smaller (1 bed?) property in cycling distance to your husbands work. Then you would save money on rent, bills and commuting costs. Save this money for a deposit and buy a house.

My husband earns similar to yours, I also work but my wage is eaten up by childcare and school fees so essentially we have a similar household income. We have a mortgage on a house in London and we go on 2+ holidays a year.

I would reduce expences if you want to buy one day.

• Reduce food spend, there’s only really two adults. Babies can just eat small portions of yours. Shop in Aldi or Lidl, don’t buy branded, don’t waste money on expensive cleaning stuff.
• Petrol money Your dh needs to claim it back if it’s for work.
• Nappies at Aldi are excellent and not expensive. Don’t use wipes if you’re at home ( they’re bad for the environment anyway )
• £200 on luxuries is £2400 a year. That’s massive. Cut this down. The odd coffee out doesn’t come to this much and family and friends need to lower expectations on presents.
• other bills. You don’t have the money so drop life insurance. Look again at other bills eg phone.

Maybe you could save £300 plus the £200 you allow for anyway.
£300/pm is £3600/yr.
However the best way is to move.
£3000 rent and bills is massive

I presume this must be a commute to London. My OH has an annual pass which is £500 a month. I could imagine that it is more expensive in other areas. However you could rent somewhere far cheaper than the costs you have mentioned. I think you need to make a move based purely on rental and travel costs.
Also if my OH then has to use his car for work then he would claim back petrol costs, so it seems odd that your OH is unable to do this

To add to the above start getting more money into the savings pot. It’s totally doable for you to own x

I think you need to give more details of your outgoings OP, as lots of us are clearly baffled as to how £5k isn't stretching that far in your current situation. My DH and I both work, and bring in less than this combined. Our mortgage isn't too bad, but we pay more than our mortgage in childcare at the moment. My car is also on finance. We are going on holiday at the end of this month. Nowhere plush, but a week abroad.

THIS! Such a short sighted thing to say my whole wage goes on pay…
5K is loads you need to scrutinise your budgets. DH and I earn just over that between us I work part time, we pay childcare, have a mortgage, go on holiday.

I'd go back to work, especially if there is potential for career development. Think long term since expensive nursery fees don't last forever and remember that it isn't just your salary that pays for nursery fees, especially since your partner is the higher earner.

Most importantly, I'd go back to work because you aren't married and it is incredibly risky to be an unmarried SAHM.

I think a lot of people are still trying to live on credit but that will become increasingly difficult over the coming months/years. I fear that the UK (post Brexit) is following the US path where huge swathes of people (what would have been the middle and working classes) will have to have 2/3 jobs in order to make ends meet.

OP probably lives somewhere nice in a 3 bed house, a move to a smaller house in a different area would probably help a lot to save and afford a mortgage or holidays

We both work and bring home 5k between us after tax student loans pensions etc. We also have 3 kids, the youngest is 2. We pay wraparound for the 2 primary aged and some holiday clubs. We are comfortable. I honestly can't see what you are moaning about? Is it the deposit that's the issue? We saved our house deposit before we had kids in our 20s and only had got married and had kids once we had our house. We sacrificed holidays abroad for 5 years to get there though, I'm so glad we did though.

You should go back to work, you can continue to pay into your pension and can continue with your career progression, even if your wages all go on nursery fees, you will still be benefitting in the long term.

With regards to other people. They just earn more than you think, have much lower outgoings than you think, or have inheritances or parental support.

There is no real mystery to it.

Focus on your own situation which isn’t great. Being financially dependent on a man who isn’t your husband is a fools game.

Another woman who's given up work because It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month. If you were still working, you could apply for promotions and gain seniority.

Anyway £5,000 is a lot a month - you both could easily afford childcare but you're basing it on your salary and not his which is sad.

That’s massive rent. A big food bill. A decent amount for savings each month. And quite literally a couple of hundred on luxuries.

You could easily afford a mortgage.

You must be aware millions of people are living on much much less.

Can no one read?
It clearly says rent AND bills.
Rent
Gas
Water
Elec
Council tax
Etc
Etc

The 1k on travel is extortionate however.

Just read you're unmarried - yikes. You're double fucked as a SAHM. Good luck!

Your rent is the problem. Can your partner drive to work?

People critique her budget because they critiqued their own, and that's how they manage.

It might not be useful to the OP that we chose to get a mortgage years before we had a child, but she asked how we cope, and that's one of the ways.

A season ticket from Birmingham to London is £636 a month for example and you can get to London in under 90 minutes on a good day.