How is everyone else surviving in this day and age!?

[Mummyrere]

I’m just so mind blown how other people are living -

I see so many people with mortgages, going on holidays, having nice cars etc etc and there jobs are obviously not that well paid! My partner works really hard and brings home £5000 a month. It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month, getting absolutely rinsed paying rent (in not even an expensive place!) and we can’t afford a mortgage, and really doesn’t look like we ever would be able to. It’s very depressing and I’m feeling so sorry for my partner who is working hard. I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!? Ahhh just having a stress tonight!

If your rent is that much, surely the most logical solution would be to move to a cheaper part of the UK.

I don't know anywhere near that charges that amount of rent unless it's a stately home/mansion.

What is the breakdown of your rent and bills? Are there any areas you can cut down on?

How transferable is your partner's job? Assuming your rent is 2k of the 3k rent and bills (or is it more a 1k seems a lot on top of other things you mention) then the travel costs are another 1k.

It seems like you wouldn't necessarily be worse off living somewhere cheaper even if he didn't earn as much.

Maybe you need to think about your options before you get tied into the school system.

Sorry - it’s £3K for rent AND bills, not rent alone as I said. But still, a huge amount.

Are you in the south east?

3k on rent insane!! Renting a nice house, in a nice area, and any bigger than you need is a waste of money, rent the cheapest you can get away with and save the difference for a mortgage deposit.

I don't know how other people do it, but our household income is less than yours, but lower accommodation costs, so or disposable income or lack of it, is about the same, and we live simply, no holidays.
It's fine. We can put food on the table and don't have financial stress. But no luxuries.

I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!?

Based on what you said here.

I would suggest you get a job as soon as it makes economic sense and work your way up. Your financial situation will improve from your positive contribution.

Interested to know what kind of property you're renting for that much money.
If you can't work then, the simple answer is you're living beyond your means. You need to downsize or move to a cheaper area.

Your rent and travel costs are clearly the problem. Can DP work from home or hybrid work? Would work subsidise his train pass?
Would you be willing to do child minding or evening work?

If you’re unmarried, please do consider going back to work as soon as you can, and just accepting that as a family your childcare costs cancel out your wage for a while but it will improve. I’m sure your DP isn’t a bad bloke, but if you’ve seen how women struggle as single parents firsthand then you need to be very vigilant about making sure you can always earn your own income and not depend on a boyfriend or partner’s salary. Different if you were married.

Are you renting a massive house?! That's a a ridiculous amount to spend on rent, especially as it's not even near to where your partner works and thus incurs a further £1k on travel.

You need to move and get a job.

These thread are so irritating - the OP did not ask for critique of her own financial situation - she is asking how others do it. I live in the SE and I can assure you that that rent is not at all
unusual for relatively small houses plus not all jobs can just decide not to travel etc etc eyc

Anyway back to the actual thread - some people do it by living extremely frugally (although these are in the main unlikely to be people going on luxury holidays and driving luxury cars) some people earn big bucks, some people have inheritance but many many many people stick it on credit cards and worry about it later. I would say that is a very large proportion (they just won’t admit it here because it causes a pile on from the holier than thou brigade, some of whom appear on this thread).

You certainly are being rinsed for rent, where and in what do you live to be paying so much? Over half the take home pay going on rent and bills is the biggest problem.

Surely if your partner is paying petrol travelling for work as part of his job this should be reimbursed, put that on top of the train fare and it is extortionate.

If you want to live differently you will have to change things - where and how you live.

Your rent and travel costs are too high. Also, if your DH has to spen so much on petrol travelling for work, surely they re-imburse him for that?

I think you should look at renting a cheaper/smaller place, in a location that allows you to reduce your dp's train fares.

We lived in a one bedroom flat until our child was 3 just to save for a deposit, for perspective.

I agree

We save money every month that pays for our holiday the following year. Our combined income monthly is similar to yours but our mortgage (which just went up £300 a month) is £1200. Not saying you can change your rental costs but £3k a month is exorbitant. If you could even save £500 off that monthly it would make a big difference

You could afford a mortgage. Presumably it’s the deposit you can’t afford.

@Mummyrere there is something going wrong if you are not getting by on £5K a month. I think you need to move to c cheaper area and get back to work. If you are a not working at present then use the time to think about what role will suit that will bring in a decent income. People don't earn high incomes just by chance. Then you retrain or draw a path of getting there.

If he is paying £700 in train fare a month, they couldn't be living in London because where would the train be to and there must be some cheaper places that distance away from London

Average is £33k which is a lot less than £40k. And on £40k I take home a lot less than £2500. Most people on a salary like that will be paying back a student loan.

It is really hard for young families these days due to extortionate housing and travel costs.

In your position, I would look into some extra training you can do online/locally with a view to getting a better paid job soonish. Once you then combine salaried you should be able to get a decent mortgage in due course.

Personally, I found it ludicrous that so many young people are in your position. It was really tough time wise when my 4 were very little but with 2 professional salaries we were always fine as childcare, housing and travel was cheaper. Then we managed to pay off a huge chunk of mortgage during the low interest years.

I look at my parents generation and they had it even better. Both retired earlyish on final salary pension schemes with a huge paid off house with lots of equity they think they don’t need to pay tax on. They also rely heavily on the NHS funding them into old age when in reality, it is reasonably foreseeable that they may end up having to pay close to 500 each for healthcare in the not too distant future, if the NHS collapses. It is no different to lots of people complaining about huge interest costs right now, all reasonably foreseeable stuff.

It's a bit woolly, rent and bills, why not separate

That is a salary of £90,000 a year. It goes a bloody long way if you make it.

We live well beneath our means. However we have loads of savings and save for our pension as we want to support our DC until they are in the property ladder.

Our holidays are not as lavish as others and I don't wear designer gear all the time but we choose what go spend our money on eg when going on a sight seeing holiday we choose to stay somewhere basic and spend the money on excursions

You need to break down the £3k more OP. It's not all on rent, how much of it is? What's the breakdown of the other bills? To be honest if you rented a normal 3 bed near me, where I know the train to London is £600pm, you would be looking at £1600. So entirely possibly that it could go up to 3k with gas, electric, water, council tax, insurances etc

You need to move somewhere much cheaper and smaller and stop wasting money. Your partner should be getting petrol costs back through mileage if he is spending £700 on a train commute and the rest on actual work.

£5000 a month net is a £90,000 salary. Stop being so ridiculous.