How is everyone else surviving in this day and age!?

[Mummyrere]

I’m just so mind blown how other people are living -

I see so many people with mortgages, going on holidays, having nice cars etc etc and there jobs are obviously not that well paid! My partner works really hard and brings home £5000 a month. It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month, getting absolutely rinsed paying rent (in not even an expensive place!) and we can’t afford a mortgage, and really doesn’t look like we ever would be able to. It’s very depressing and I’m feeling so sorry for my partner who is working hard. I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!? Ahhh just having a stress tonight!

My take home is £1,400 of that £1,000 is mortgage and all bills. £200 maximum a month on food and toiletries leaving me £200 to save, I've just booked a holiday for October which will be my third week abroad in the last 13 months. It's about budgeting and cutting your cloth? But then I don't eat out, have sky or anything like that? Do you have the option to move closer to DPs work to cut down travel costs? Or move to a cheaper area? 3k sounds ridiculous?

"It makes no difference as the childcare is as much as I would make" is a short-sighted view. As PP said, "people don't earn high incomes just by chance". I've got twins and our childcare costs weren't just as much as my take-home pay, they exceeded it. I viewed it as a short term problem that wasn't worth sacrificing my longer term earning potential for and we took the hit until the costs lowered again. I've been promoted twice in the mean time - and I'm not in an industry where you know how and when you'll be able to climb the ladder, so it was risk that paid off rather than a decision that I knew would pay off. But if you want things to be different, you have to make it happen and that does sometimes mean sacrifices and risks.

£3,000 on mortgage is one thing as its your own asset eventually. But, on rent? You're paying someone else mortgage off omg!!

Some of it is bills but it's high even with bills, OP hasn't said how much the rent is

£700 on train fair for partners work

Is there no hybrid/remote working option?

Surely, must be cheaper to drive to work?

I'm just shocked its £3k, if rent is £1k the rest is bills then fair enough to some extent I guess. Surely, better of getting a mortgage though?

Why is it your wage is solely responsible for childcare,not his?
return To work claim your nursery hours

There must be somewhere £700 away from work that is cheaper, it's not like you need people locally for childcare

What a helpful post.

I think it's clear that your abnormally high rent is the answer to your question. I live in a very nice part of London indeed and rent for a 2 bedroom flat would be about £2500 a month. If you live somewhere where it costs £700 to commute somewhere like here, you could save that just by moving instead.

The £3k OP mentions is rent and bills combined.

You’re either:
a) paying off a ton of debts
b) spending too much on other luxuries (that you don’t even realise
c) talking bollocks.
£5000 take home with no childcare, is NOT struggling

Anyone who agrees to SAHM as an unmarried woman is double fucked. I didn't make the rules, blame the patriarchy. I hate it too.

Mothers need to realise that working = pension and NI contributions as well as salary. It will make a difference in 30 years!!

Personally, much lower housing costs. I think if I were you I would be looking very seriously at moving, even if it meant a less nice house for a bit, so that you can save for a deposit.

I could be wrong, but I think it's 35 years now (fucked I know).

Also, it's perfectly ok and normal to want to be with your child rather than work full time, especially when your child is so young.

Don't you get pension/N.I. with child benefit?

And it’s perfectly normal to return to work and not be glued to baby 24/7
Plenty manage it with

Why do people always assume credit cards?! We earn £6000 net between us, that might surprise our friends and family as we are public sector and they don't really know our jobs, but we have a mortgage and went to Florida this year, we still go out quite a bit and aren't struggling, it's not on a credit card! I know it's unfair, but we're not all affected the same. Yes we're paying more for food, fuel, and energy (and soon mortgage) but we can absorb this, as can many others.

No guarantees many will be around long enough to draw their pension. All depends on what your occupation is.

Most people are in debt, so that might be how they appear to be able to afford lots. That and lower rent!

You're spending 3k a month on rent and bills and 1k on travel?!!! That's genuinely bonkers. Is that standard for your property in your area? Can you bring the cost down? Do you need that much space? If your DH is spending a grand on travel had he considered a different job paying less but with far lower travel costs?

This is scary and I worry about this as am also SE. Do you mind if I ask what your business is?

That's not the point. The point is security and more women are in poverty during pension age. Plus, lack of power/financial independence/security.