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Original poster

Haven't bathed /shower in weeks

301 replies

Ted10 · 30/07/2023 21:00

So what it says really I have not bathed or showered in weeks . I have washed as the basin. I had not washed my hair in weeks until about 5 days ago and I just washed it over the side of the bath . The back of my hair was matted . But I kind of covered it with long hair.

This is all linked to a DV situation towards me From a family member. We are getting help now. But I have not been able to leave my kids alone so that I can get a bath/shower. Even when the kids were at school I still didn't. Because I felt like o was permanently on egg shells.

It's been similar with cooking it was either throw in the oven stuff or take aways. Because I could not spend time on the kitchen.

As I said there's some support put in place for that person now. But I'm finding it hard to get out of the mindset that I can't do the simple things.

If anyone recognises my situation. I'm not going into it all . And I won't respond to any judgement or nastiness. I'm not in the right mindset to be dealing with that just now.

I just Need to let things go so that I can do these normal things and stop bring such a scum bag

OP posts:
Original poster
Ted10 · 05/08/2023 19:37

Something positive 😋

Haven't bathed /shower in weeks
OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 19:53

Can you elaborate, so I can imagine the taste?

Original poster
Ted10 · 05/08/2023 19:57

SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 19:53

Can you elaborate, so I can imagine the taste?

🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 22:56

I genuinely mean it. Are they pancakes? pizzas?
I made a batch of bolognaise sauce 2 days ago, and have had spag bol, with fresh pasta (packet from Sainsbury Local) and parmesan cheese three days running.

Original poster
Ted10 · 05/08/2023 23:08

SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 22:56

I genuinely mean it. Are they pancakes? pizzas?
I made a batch of bolognaise sauce 2 days ago, and have had spag bol, with fresh pasta (packet from Sainsbury Local) and parmesan cheese three days running.

Waffle 🤣

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 23:10

And the toppings are?

Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 00:58

SequentialAnalyst · 05/08/2023 23:10

And the toppings are?

Strawberry indulgence. There was a train strike normally only the 20 mins door to door . But had to come back by bus because of train strike so took an hour. Don't like being out at night time.

Today was definitely a good day. Ds went swimming. Was back late afternoon with a few friends. Had music on but they were OK. They bought plain t shirts so they could drawer on them. 2 friends left.

Then me and dd went for the waffle and to cinema was around 11 time we got home. Ds Has his boyfriend staying over and they are sleeping. So all good 👍

OP posts:
Chickenkeev · 06/08/2023 01:56

Food looks v fancy and yum. Delighted you had a good day. More tomorrow x

Polly291869 · 06/08/2023 07:27

Glad that such a positive day had by you all.

Good signs.

#teamTed

YoBeaches · 06/08/2023 08:48

Great day OP. Glad DS had a settled day too.

Is he over 16 OP? Just wondering why Camhs aren't communicating with you?

Shame the social worker isn't up to much.

Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 10:20

YoBeaches · 06/08/2023 08:48

Great day OP. Glad DS had a settled day too.

Is he over 16 OP? Just wondering why Camhs aren't communicating with you?

Shame the social worker isn't up to much.

Yes he's 16. She did seem to communicate a little more before he was 16. But she foes not now. So maybe it Is to do with him turning 16.

Sw is a twat 🤣

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 06/08/2023 10:44

Does DS wear headphones when he is gaming, and at the same time has his music on so loudly that he potentially disturbs the rest of the house?

Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 10:47

SequentialAnalyst · 06/08/2023 10:44

Does DS wear headphones when he is gaming, and at the same time has his music on so loudly that he potentially disturbs the rest of the house?

No he does not often use head phones.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 17:11

Things are gonna kick off. I honestly can't be doing this

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 06/08/2023 17:41

I'm here if you want to post anything Brew

FrogandToadAreFriends · 06/08/2023 18:29

So sorry today is a bad one after such a good run. You are amazing truly, you have been through so much. I'm so angry on your behalf that you are not getting more practical and immediate help. We are all rooting for you, this storm, like the others, will pass and peace will return. Just try to keep your chin up. I know you must be exhausted, I'm so sorry OP. You are truly a brilliant mama with a spine of steel. You will get through this one, you have the strength in you.

Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 19:48

SequentialAnalyst · 06/08/2023 17:41

I'm here if you want to post anything Brew

Thank you .

It was him and DD. It was stupidness. No one was actually doing anything wrong he was being noisey playing games. Dd was playing music or something forgot which. They were both banging on the ceiling/floor. Having a go at each other . Then coming to me and expecting me to fix it.

I told them they both need to stop. That we live in a new build they are not build as well as old houses. We all live together your going to hear each others noises. That's just life when you live with other people.

Then DS starts threatening to kick off. And I was waiting for him to be aggressive/violent or smash things up. He ended up going out in the end. I don't know how long he's gone for . He's gone to his boyfriend house but he does not normally stay there long . Hopefully long enough to settle

OP posts:
Original poster
Ted10 · 06/08/2023 19:54

FrogandToadAreFriends · 06/08/2023 18:29

So sorry today is a bad one after such a good run. You are amazing truly, you have been through so much. I'm so angry on your behalf that you are not getting more practical and immediate help. We are all rooting for you, this storm, like the others, will pass and peace will return. Just try to keep your chin up. I know you must be exhausted, I'm so sorry OP. You are truly a brilliant mama with a spine of steel. You will get through this one, you have the strength in you.

Thank you . I guess I have to take the rough with the smooth . I'm just glad he went out in the end. Hopefully he will be more settled when he's back . Yes things are set in place for him. But not for me. I mean of course he comes first that gos 100% without saying. But they have left me with nothing which means I don't only how to manage with the damage it has left mentally and emotionally.

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 07/08/2023 02:06

Sorry only just been able to check back. Will reply properly in the morning. Take care.

Original poster
Ted10 · 07/08/2023 09:50

Not to worry same old shit anyway. He came back in a better mood. Was laughing and being silly . He recons he smoked weed with his boyfriends brother . I think maybe he didn't and was just saying it. I could not smell it. I think as a non smoker I would? Also I think eyes are normally a bit red and dopey looking?

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 07/08/2023 13:32

I think yesterday evening went better than you realise.
First, you told both of them off - vital when you are dealing with two, otherwise arguments arise about "who started it".

Second, he took himself out of the situation instead of it escalating in the house.

Third, he came back in a better mood. For now, I would not get into discussions about weed. but then I am an old hippy and you may not agree with my thoughts on weed, which I won't share atm.

Original poster
Ted10 · 07/08/2023 14:03

Yeah I know. Its the threats of kicking of that does my head in. Because its not like he hasn't done it before and it's pretty awful.

He went therapy today and has asked fir medication. Don't know what will come of that.

And no I definitely won't bring the weed thing up. I put that under normal for his age.

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 07/08/2023 16:41

It is perfectly understandable to have a worst-case scenario come into your head. It's part of our instinct to keep ourselves safe.

The hard part is keeping that thought at a distance, so that it does not mess with your response to any situation you find yourself in. I suspect you managed to do that, and made the sensible decision to tell both of them off.

Perhaps DS also had a worst-case scenario pop into his head? and dealt with it sensibly by removing himself from the situation (a strategy which, btw, is not available to you, because you are a parent).

Original poster
Ted10 · 07/08/2023 16:57

SequentialAnalyst · 07/08/2023 16:41

It is perfectly understandable to have a worst-case scenario come into your head. It's part of our instinct to keep ourselves safe.

The hard part is keeping that thought at a distance, so that it does not mess with your response to any situation you find yourself in. I suspect you managed to do that, and made the sensible decision to tell both of them off.

Perhaps DS also had a worst-case scenario pop into his head? and dealt with it sensibly by removing himself from the situation (a strategy which, btw, is not available to you, because you are a parent).

Yeah it's just hard. Because DS reaction can often go to far. On this case it did not but often can . DD and him could be in the same from as me. I could tell them both the same thing at the same time. So they have had the exact same words. DD will the general Kevin and Perry crap and storm to her room. And that's done . DS will become aggressive and start smashing stuff up scaring everyone etc. And it can carry on for a good hour or so. So its like I'm trying to avoid that. But at the same tone trying to show him I'm the parent.

OP posts:
SequentialAnalyst · 07/08/2023 18:44

Between the both of you, you did avoid him smashing things up yesterday. You, by being perfectly fair - you told both of them off. And him by removing himself from the situation.

Notice that DD also removed herself from the situation.

So, in your own individual ways, you all kept yourselves and each other safe.