Teacher friends in summer...every single time...

[Nursenance]

I'm not a teacher. I have a lot of teacher friends.
Every single summer I get texts saying 'let's get together over summer' , 'we need some days out over summer'.
Similar texts every school half term/Easter/Xmas.

It drives me nuts! I am still at work and in my routine. My weekly routine continues through the year. It's like an assumption that cos they not busy noone is!

For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China but just drives me insane when they don't seem to realise that the rest of the world does not exist for school holidays.

You can meet them on a weekend over the summer...

Or an evening.

Yes I can and I will. Its just the assumption that everyone is free!

I totally get it... Have a similar situation with 2 of my best friends.... And it usually ends with them heading back to work in September and I've seen them a maximum of twice over the "summer hols".... I just accept it for what it is and have a little wry smile at the situation.

Or, they're trying to squeeze in a bit of socialising whilst they have the time and energy?
I'm guilty of doing this too I suppose but then the alternative is that all your teacher friends organise summer get togethers and don't include you, which would probably make you feel a bit left out too?

I agree op. It’s the lack of effort in term time weekends. I work all summer and I’m the one not making the effort 🤷🏽‍♀️

Don't most people take some annual leave over the summer? Doesn't seem unreasonable to me that you might have the odd weekday free to meet up or want to make a long weekend of things.

A lot of teachers lose a lot of their term-time weekends working. OP‘s point is that her non-teacher friends just assume she’s free in the holidays - it’s equally unfair to assume teachers are free during term-time weekends.

I don’t understand the problem - surely it’s not the realms of possibility that you might be able to book a random day off at some point during a school holiday to join them?

Do you not take any leave over the summer? Most people do, it’s not that wild to expect, although obviously not if you’re in a summer tourism kind of business I guess.

They're not assuming anything though. They're reminding you they exist after a year of being unable to reply to anything, and telling you when they're free and that they'd like to meet up.
If you hate them this much do them a favour and make some different friends with people just as miserable as you about not getting all your annual leave in prescribed blocks when holidays are most expensive.

If you have school aged children isn’t it fairly likely you’d take some leave over the summer to care for them? And they’re off too? It’s ok for them to ask and it’s ok for you to be busy!

YANBU. I have a lot of teacher friends and many of them post at the start of the summer about how much they’re looking forward to their long break and how lovely it will be. If I posted at bonus time how much I’m looking forward to spending all my lovely money, it would be considered crass.

I agree op. I have every sympathy with how hard teachers work and what Long hours they do. I really do. I’ve Lived with one. Lots in my family and circle of close friends. They seem to have no understanding about anyone else’s schedules. It seems a shame.

Is the summer not a normal time to be even slightly more able /likely to meet up? Longer evenings, annual leave often taken in the summer etc.
Also, do you have children?

Yes. But not 6 weeks.

We do know everyone everyone else is still at work but I don't see friends in term time at all. School holidays (mainly Christmas, Easter and the summer) are literally the only chance I have to see my friends.

I send a similar message at the start of summer. I'll manage to have a couple of nights out or a few lunches with retired friends.

But if I didn't send that message at the start of the summer, I would never see any of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not lack of effort the rest of the time, I simply don't have the time. I'm either working, doing stuff with my children or sleeping.

It’s common to book annual leave in July and August, they’re probably assuming you will and are asking to spend some of it with you as you’re friends. Seems reasonable to me.

I agree OP. A lot of teachers seem oblivious to the world outside of school. I guess they are institutionalised to an extent. They go to school as children, then go to University, then back to school. They don't seem to get it that most of us work all year round.

I know they say 'oh but we work weekends' etc but they seem blind to the fact that lots of people work weekends, or work beyond their salaried hours too. It's quite funny really bless 'em. Oblivious.

It’s more that it is the time when THEY are free!
Theyre not assuming you are free. They are telling they (finally!) are.

This. Teachers can’t often meet on term term evenings and sometimes even weekends.

But they're not asking or expecting to spend 6 weeks with you. They're letting you know that, if you want to catch up, they've got 6 weeks in which they can plan something.

That's all.

Are you taking into the fact that most teachers are working weekends and evenings during term time? Most of the teachers I know have neither the time nor the energy to go out during the week at all. If they have children, it’s even harder fitting everything in. It is not like a normal job, you can’t book leave for the odd day to deal with non urgent dental/medical issues, let alone to do something fun, you are on stage all day, there is always preparation and marking and assessing and planning, and “ can you do a class assembly making sure all pupils have a part and are dressed and rehearsed for it, with practised songs and dances thrown in, for an audience of 200?” on top of your usual workload.
And “can you write 30 reports in your own time, and now rewrite them all using this different formatting? And by the way we expect you to show up at the PTA do at the weekend, and offer ( plan and mark) after school classes for upcoming SATs ?”
If you have friends who are teachers, you must be aware of how all consuming it is.
It really is not like a desk job, where you get to manage your own time and work load. It is exhausting and normally involves early starts and long days.
That is why teachers try to arrange socials during the summer, it’s just too hard the rest of the time.
PS I am no longer a teacher because I like to have free weekends and to be able to arrange the odd outing during weekday evenings.

Also this. You can’t like them very much if you’re getting pissed off that they want to meet you when they have the time and brain capacity to do so.

I’m guilty of this.

During term time I work late and usually on Sundays and then Saturdays are filled with shopping or seeing family etc.

I will then want to meet during the holidays and make up for lost time, as I rarely have time during term times.

I’ve spent most of my working life not working term time only and I even notice myself how I struggle for time for socialising during term time.

I wouldn’t expect people to be off work though, I would just let them know that I can work around them as my days are less rigid.

Tbh I didn’t see this as offensive and so I’ll remember to re-word it in future.
(Although after September I won’t be working term time only anymore and so it won’t really matter).