Teacher friends in summer...every single time...

[Nursenance]

I'm not a teacher. I have a lot of teacher friends.
Every single summer I get texts saying 'let's get together over summer' , 'we need some days out over summer'.
Similar texts every school half term/Easter/Xmas.

It drives me nuts! I am still at work and in my routine. My weekly routine continues through the year. It's like an assumption that cos they not busy noone is!

For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China but just drives me insane when they don't seem to realise that the rest of the world does not exist for school holidays.

^^the same.

I was a deputy chair school governor for 5+ years and also deputy chair of the PTA. Plus I've got several teachers in my immediate family, both primary and secondary.

Teachers do have to do extra hours, and at certain times of the year it can be particularly hard going. And of course there is lesson planning and marking - but lots of people work long hours without having the benefit of six weeks off in the summer to recuperate.

The teachers in our school and in my family seem to manage to socialise fine during term-time, most of the time. Funnily enough, the younger single teachers (not trainees) at our school particularly seem to have a thriving social life - and good for them. No criticism at all. And they did a cracking job too, proving the point that it's not an either/or situation.

Only in MN world are teachers so utterly exhausted from working long days every single day and the weekends too.

Also, this isn't a teacher bashing post. I've seen up close and personal the difference a good teacher can make, and what a stressful job it is. But the hours some claim it takes is way overblown and exaggerated, in my experience.

Not everyone works 9-5 Monday to Friday. I have a friend who works shifts. She’ll say ‘can you do Tuesday morning for a coffee?’ and I can’t because it’s term time. It’s just the same thing. This thread is a very boring attempt to have a go at teachers.

I can see both sides. If I had 13 weeks off a year and a very intense and restricitive job outside of that, I am sure I would be the same.

But as a non-teacher with 5 weeks' holiday a year, I don't just take random days off. Every day of leave is accounted for- my husband and I have to cover 13 weeks of school holidays between our two sets of 5 weeks annual leave, as well as trying to spend some time together as a family.

I also need to catch up with wider family because we live far apart, I work full time and have children at school and with weekend clubs, so I wouldn't be able to do that on a normal term time weekend. Basically, if I have time off work I am probably away visiting family, having family visit me, or on holiday. It is a different kind of juggling act and the thing with it is, it never ends from one year to the next. I don't know if the teachers in my family recognise this.

Thank you quickanon...for summarising what I meant.

Teaching genuinely sounds like the worst profession in the world. I dont know a single teacher who has any work life balance. It is a miserable and exhausting existence.

Damn!
They know our secret!

In no way having a go a teachers, my mum was one! Its just a chat on an observation, I could go into how my police officer brother does the same but this isn't about shift workers, it's about teachers.... 💁

@DanielTheGhostGangbanger
Are you or have you ever been a teacher?

I get you, @Nursenance

My work is really flexible but I can't tell you the last time I didn't work in the evening or at the weekend, other than when I'm on leave.

I only have a week off over the summer this year but I'm away. I usually reply to this sort of message with "Yay! Well, I'm mostly at work other than blah blah dates" but I'm away. But I'm free on 9th September. Does that wor "

I've just checked my calendar and I have work stuff planned in every weekend until the 23rd September. Sometimes full on, sometimes a bit. Like I say, I always end up doing a bit every evening.

Ugh. Excuse typos.

I agree with this! And I’m not even a teacher!

So do you not think that when other professions have time off they don’t have more free time?

Its obvious that when you aren’t working you have more free time than when you are.

My friend doesn’t have her son EOW as he goes to his dads.
She works FT and will only usually ask to meet up on the weekends she doesn’t have her young son.
Not because she’s a bad friend but because she’s busy with work and life on the other days.

I think general people are quite respectful about the perks of their jobs. My part time friends, my wfh friends, my friends who can do the school run, my friends who earn way more than me. I realise the holidays are the massive perk of my job. The benefits of other peoples jobs don't bother me unless I'm very tired and stressed, when I feel jealous and envious.

I think the current teacher retention crisis would say otherwise. As would the online support groups for thousands of teachers whose physical and mental health is at rock bottom due to the working conditions in many schools.

And this!

So you’re allowed to be busy with work and not be able to meet up until your workload becomes less, but teachers are selfish for doing the same thing?

That was directed at the above commenter who said this:

Only in MN world are teachers so utterly exhausted from working long days every single day and the weekends too.

DH and I used to work full time/full year in a sixth form college - he was in Maintenance and I was in Finance. Every new term staff would come in and be chatting about where and what they had been up to during the holidays - not a problem. They would then be asking what we had done and we had been in over the whole holiday period. DH was busy with all the Maintenance projects and Deep clean projects that were set up to be done when the college was empty of staff and students and I would be busy with Finance, H&S and taking in deliveries and answering the phone to prospective students.
There was no way we could be off in the Holidays and staff always said how unfair that we could be off in term time!! I'm sure they used to think that the whole campus shut every holiday and opened up on the first day of the new term!!

The OP was annoyed that teachers don’t realise she works during their holidays. I was pointing out that being unaware of other people’s circumstances is not unique to teachers.

The thread has now descended into a conversation about how teachers think they work the hardest, but that they are actually just whiny. This is irritating because I don’t believe it’s true.

I chose my job, I like it and continue to choose to do it. The holidays are a massive bonus. I do work long hours, as many people also do in their chosen careers. It’s simple for me though, I would not be a teacher without the holidays because on balance it wouldn’t be worth it.

This!!

I don't recognise the non socialising, apart from school holidays, teachers that are often talked about here.

I have a few teacher friends and know plenty others - they all manage to socialise in term time! As well as volunteer etc.

A few of the posts on here are really highlighting the lack of awareness some teachers have for other jobs. There is a distinct tone of "no one works as hard as us" in some posts.

You seem nice.

I don't think you've understood. I was pointing put that I'm ALSO busy and I never said anyone was selfish.

The point being, this is when I am free. I don't message my teacher friends on a random Thursday in June and say "Hi! I've got an hour free this morning, want to grab a coffee?" because I know they're at work. I understand they're more busy in term time. Ironically I'm busier in the school holidays because of everyone covering each other's leave.

Several members of DP’s family are teachers. They just don’t get it. Any of them. No matter how many times you try to explain it to them.

It’s like the idea that non-teachers have to work 47 weeks per year instead of 39 seems so bizarre to them that their brains just cannot comprehend it. I assume it’s because they went straight into teaching after uni, so getting 13 weeks off every year is all they have ever experienced so it’s the only thing they understand. It’s still infuriating, though, when you find yourself having to explain to them for the 27,000th time that no, you don’t actually get half of July & all of August off work…

Surely you can understand that not everyone has the same lifestyle though.

Some people teach different subjects, some work for different schools, some teach different year groups, some have partners, some have kids, some are single parents, some have lots of hobbies or elderly parents etc.

Unless you are or you’ve been a teacher then you cannot judge.

I’ve worked in other jobs which aren’t teaching and I’ve been a teacher.
I struggle to find time to socialise during term times (especially because I’m a single parent) and I have less free time than in the holidays.
Which is the exact same for every profession.

I’ve decided that although the holidays are great they are not worth the term time only workload and so I will not be teaching from September.

Yes but saying I’m free on Thursday at 9am for an hour is very specific and I’d be annoyed if any friend did that, even on a weekend.

But during term time it’s difficult to try and find days and times that match up with your friends.

Whereas during the holidays I will say you let me know when you are free because I can be more flexible and work around you.

I'm not a teacher but I have messaged friends to meet up during the summer because I have some time off and it would be nice to catch up. Nobody took offence and I now have 2 dates in my diary. I don't actually have that much time because I'm at work but it's nice to do stuff when I am free. My friends also have other commitments so for us it's "when are you free, I can do x dates" Why can't teachers do the same?