Teacher friends in summer...every single time...

[Nursenance]

I'm not a teacher. I have a lot of teacher friends.
Every single summer I get texts saying 'let's get together over summer' , 'we need some days out over summer'.
Similar texts every school half term/Easter/Xmas.

It drives me nuts! I am still at work and in my routine. My weekly routine continues through the year. It's like an assumption that cos they not busy noone is!

For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China but just drives me insane when they don't seem to realise that the rest of the world does not exist for school holidays.

Oh yes I got that - and the little superior smiley face 😊. You are int the right profession from what I remember from uni☺️.

what I meant was I knew universities were good employers but I hadn’t appreciated the leave was also so generous! I picked the wrong path

It is a great job, and I wouldn't want to do anything else, but the assumptions drive me mad, which I suppose is the same for all jobs.

Tell your teacher friends then they won’t inconvenience you by asking if you want to meet up.

"For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking."

So you text them for meet ups when they're too busy, maybe they think the same during term time and think you don't "get it"

Seriously they've just got some down time now and are trying to catch up with people whenever their friends can fit them in. They're not expecting you to be able to drop sticks. Don't take it personally if you're busy. You literally do the same to them.

My two best friends are teachers and my SIL is too. In the past it’s been shall we have dinner on Thursday eve… no it’s a school night. Okay, no problem.
Holidays begin… we are going out Tuesday night boozing to the club, wanna come? Nah, I’m working the next day!

likeafishneedsabike · Today 22:21
Rummikub · Today 19:04

I agree op. It’s the lack of effort in term time weekends. I work all summer and I’m the one not making the effort
I assume you’re joking...

No im not joking. I don’t mean Im asking to meet term time weekends necessarily I’m talking about no contact until the holidays. That’s what frustrates me. And then when I say I’m working in the summer I get a quizzical head tilt.

if i want to meet then it’s me that compromises.

tbf that’s one friend in particular.

when my ex was a dept head/ teacher he would do all his marking in frees. Ofsted would obviously cause a panic and I get that.

What’s a free?

non teaching time.

I'm guilty of this (TA) . It's not assuming others are free , just letting them know that I am available and that term time restrictions don't apply anymore. That means I can do most of the stuff, like mid week drinking/dinners, impromptu dropping by's because they're in the area, travel 2 hours on the train to meet with someone that lives far away, do a whole day in London etc. It means that I can easily adapt to their needs/schedules. It also means that I'm available for childcare if needed.😬

Do you mean PPA? PPA is 10% of the timetable but it’s not just for marking. It’s planning, prep and assessment so you get some work done, but not absolutely everything. You can ring fence if for marking, but personally, I find I do a mix of stuff.

Basically, teachers and non-teachers who are organising social events do so at a time which best suits them. Shocker.

Everyone can say no if the proposed date and time doesn’t suit. If you like your friends, eventually you will find a mutually convenient time. I’m not sure if the OP really likes the people she says are ‘friends’ though. Maybe call it quits?

@Flora56 yes

he called it a free.

in my place we just have non time tabled hours v teaching hours.

This assumption would bug me too OP, I get it. But I think its what most people do on some level, I suspect it drives people who work weekends mad. Everyone incl TV/ radio broadcasters talking about being 'off for the weekend' and Sunday lie ins.

What annoys me is my SAHM friends who always msg in Sept wondering if anyone is free for coffee now that we have our mornings free again. I work mornings only during term time, so very little hours really and they are always too busy doing God knows what when the kids are on Summer hols. The kids are not young so they can easily pop out for an hour. But the week I'm back to work they always msg me and 'forget' I have a job!

I don’t get this at all. Dh and I are both full time in busy jobs but we will be taking as much time off as we can over summer as usual, since our kids are off and we want to spend time with them. Perfectly reasonable to assume non teachers want to hang out in summer!! With the weather and kids out of school it’s also much easier to hang out on weeknights- evening trip to a park where dc can run around for an hour or bbq dinner at someone’s house, things we’d never ever do in winter when the kids had school in the morning.

So you invite them out and they politely decline due to their work schedule. They invite you out and you can't because of your work schedule and its a problem??? Why not do like they do and politely decline?

That scenario is mutual respect. No problem with that.

Perfect. We are all happy because we have free will and can accept/decline/rearrange as necessary. I’m really not sure why it was any worse for the OP to feel she might want to turn down a social event because she’s busy, than it is for her teacher friends when they are busy.

This thread is shite for so many reasons 🤯🤯

@OP I have a teacher friend who does the same. The time I take off during school holidays is usually because I'm actually going away.

I don't book random days of annual leave during July and August. Anytime I book off is for holidays. I find it strange that so many posters think we all book random days off over the sumer.
My annual leave is very precious. With two weeks at summer, Christmas and Easter leave, there are very few days left.
If you can't be bothered to meet me on weekends term time, I am not going to book a precious day off of annual leave to see you.

I think the need for teacher bashing threads have reached a new low when people are having to resort to batching and griping about people they call friends just for something to moan about us for.

If you can't be bothered to meet me on weekends term time, I am not going to book a precious day off of annual leave to see you.

I'm pretty sure thee are still weekends in August 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you dislike her so much, why call yourself her friend?

You could use the evenings or weekends if you wanted to see them. If you don’t want to see them, decline and suggest another date. If you hit the week with two parents’ evenings and a book look, they will decline. Repeat until you either find a date which suits both if you or you realise your friendship doesn’t really matter to you anymore and you allow it to either away.

Friendship is a two-way thing - but I don’t find non-teachers any more flexible or giving. I find the moaning about fixed leave of 24/25/26/32 days (ah, bless ‘em) just as dull as non-teachers find the moans about evening and weekend work but if I like the person, it isn’t a reason for ending the friendship.

So you have friends who let you know when they are available for meet-ups.
I'm not really seeing a problem here...

Thanks for the patronising explanation of how to sort out meeting! I'm not 5, I understand and can and do maintain friendships with people in various professions including teachers.

FWIW we meet all year round at weekends and evenings, I'm just saying that she often suggests meeting during the day during school holidays.....which doesnt work for me.