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Original poster

Teacher friends in summer...every single time...

204 replies

Nursenance · 29/07/2023 18:52

I'm not a teacher. I have a lot of teacher friends.
Every single summer I get texts saying 'let's get together over summer' , 'we need some days out over summer'.
Similar texts every school half term/Easter/Xmas.

It drives me nuts! I am still at work and in my routine. My weekly routine continues through the year. It's like an assumption that cos they not busy noone is!

For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China but just drives me insane when they don't seem to realise that the rest of the world does not exist for school holidays.

OP posts:
Notellinganyone · 29/07/2023 20:21

@GoodVibesHere - wow - so patronising. This tired trope that teachers don’t understand how the real world works. Such bollocks - lots of teachers have other careers first and have partners and adult children who aren’t teachers.

noblegiraffe · 29/07/2023 20:21

Wanker friends trying to arrange to meet with you in their spare time.

What utter bastards.

clary · 29/07/2023 20:22

GoodVibesHere · 29/07/2023 19:35

I agree OP. A lot of teachers seem oblivious to the world outside of school. I guess they are institutionalised to an extent. They go to school as children, then go to University, then back to school. They don't seem to get it that most of us work all year round.

I know they say 'oh but we work weekends' etc but they seem blind to the fact that lots of people work weekends, or work beyond their salaried hours too. It's quite funny really bless 'em. Oblivious.

Oh wow. What an unpleasant post. Fwiw I worked in the world outside school for many years, as did many colleagues. Tho even those who did not, do not require your patronising "bless em".

FrangipaniBlue · 29/07/2023 20:22

DappledThings · 29/07/2023 19:07

Don't most people take some annual leave over the summer? Doesn't seem unreasonable to me that you might have the odd weekday free to meet up or want to make a long weekend of things.

Yes I take leave in summer. To go on holiday with my family Hmm

Why would I use up my valuable leave for random days off to meet teacher friends who can't be arsed to give up one of their weekend days any other time of year?

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 29/07/2023 20:22

LaughOutInTheGrass · 29/07/2023 19:54

Knew this would turn into a 'noone knows how hard teachers live are' post!
We know!!! We live with you, we are friends with you, we read endless posts about it. We know!!

Ah, you wanted a teacher bashing post. I see. How boring.

Yes well we haven't had one for a while so were due one!
Does my head in.

Flora56 · 29/07/2023 20:24

User63847484848 · 29/07/2023 20:17

Sorry not RTFT but YES OP! I hear you!
I totally get it it’s a very stressful job and my dear teacher friends kind of ‘go under’ during term, but then when they break up (couple of weeks earlier than my kids as most of them are in private schools) they suggest meeting for coffee in the day and seem to totally forget I work full time… and have to pack the hours in before the kids break up so I can have a little more flexibility in holidays.
I know they don’t mean anything by it but yes it does annoy me! No I can’t meet randomly in the middle of the day on a weekday just because you’ve broken up, I work full time!! All year round!!

But why does it annoy you?

My friends sometimes book a days annual leave to do things like a spa day together for someone’s birthday, or book off the Monday after a hen do, or a Friday so they can go to a festival. I can’t, because my annual leave doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t irritate me, it’s just the job I chose.

Winterday1991 · 29/07/2023 20:24

Who are these teachers who are working flat out? I have several teacher friends at meet with them often during the week in term time. They are never overloaded with marking or planning. Hmm

ssd · 29/07/2023 20:25

I thought this only happened to me!!!

I had been feeling a bit used as the only time i ever heard from my friend was at the start of the school holidays, easter, feb long weekend etcetc. I thought she wasn't bothered with me the rest of the time.
Now i see it a bit differently.

Mayhem3 · 29/07/2023 20:25

Sherrystrull · 29/07/2023 20:21

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

No one is saying non teachers have it easy. Explaining why teachers prefer to socialise in holiday time is not being derogatory to anyone else.

If you want our lovely holidays then come and be a teacher.

Exactly!

There is a shortage of teachers, so please feel free to retrain as one and then you can be free during the summer too!

There are lots of careers that have heavier and lighter periods of work loads.

There have been multiple threads about posters working on a project that takes a lot of their time or lawyers working on difficult cases.

I don’t know why it’s just teachers that seem to be getting the blame.

hippityhophop · 29/07/2023 20:27

DappledThings · 29/07/2023 19:07

Don't most people take some annual leave over the summer? Doesn't seem unreasonable to me that you might have the odd weekday free to meet up or want to make a long weekend of things.

but then they would probably be away on holiday if they've booked annual leave over the summer

Treesinmygarden · 29/07/2023 20:27

Winterday1991 · 29/07/2023 20:24

Who are these teachers who are working flat out? I have several teacher friends at meet with them often during the week in term time. They are never overloaded with marking or planning. Hmm

That's what I would love to know - and I've one living in the house with me!!

It's up there with "putting on my teacher's voice" (yeah, we can roar too!!) or "I simply couldn't go on another day!" immediately prior to a school holiday period.

User63847484848 · 29/07/2023 20:28

I think for me personally it might be more linked to those individuals, but the slightly self absorbed nature of it and not remembering/caring to think of what my working pattern is. As in, I’m full time.

UrsulaIsMyQueen · 29/07/2023 20:29

Sherrystrull · 29/07/2023 20:21

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

No one is saying non teachers have it easy. Explaining why teachers prefer to socialise in holiday time is not being derogatory to anyone else.

If you want our lovely holidays then come and be a teacher.

Lovely response to me saying I don’t get a minute of spare time to socialise due to working all day and caring for a severely disabled child all night.
I know teachers work hard. So do lots of other people.

Flora56 · 29/07/2023 20:29

Treesinmygarden · 29/07/2023 20:27

That's what I would love to know - and I've one living in the house with me!!

It's up there with "putting on my teacher's voice" (yeah, we can roar too!!) or "I simply couldn't go on another day!" immediately prior to a school holiday period.

Show quote history

😂 come join us. It’s easy.

noblegiraffe · 29/07/2023 20:30

Teacher voice isn't 'roaring' Confused

SighNoMorella · 29/07/2023 20:31

haha this unlocked a memory! one of my now ex friends used to say this all the time and would be like 'what are you doing on Tuesday?'....erm at work??! I guess for someone going from education to work in education that's the only life they knew!

adviceneeded1990 · 29/07/2023 20:31

carduelis · 29/07/2023 19:21

A lot of teachers lose a lot of their term-time weekends working. OP‘s point is that her non-teacher friends just assume she’s free in the holidays - it’s equally unfair to assume teachers are free during term-time weekends.

Show quote history

Yep. My term time weekends are for my family who I barely see Monday to Friday between work and marking and planning.

Sherrystrull · 29/07/2023 20:33

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

There was nothing wrong with my response. I was responding to the little dig you made.

You clearly have a very tough life. I'm very sorry to hear you have no time to socialise and have a lot to deal with.

You know nothing about my life however.

I still object to your insinuation that teachers think non teachers have it easy. No teachers I know think that.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 29/07/2023 20:34

At lease they aren't excluding you 🤷‍♀️

Newshoess · 29/07/2023 20:35

BiscuitsandPuffin · 29/07/2023 19:27

They're not assuming anything though. They're reminding you they exist after a year of being unable to reply to anything, and telling you when they're free and that they'd like to meet up.
If you hate them this much do them a favour and make some different friends with people just as miserable as you about not getting all your annual leave in prescribed blocks when holidays are most expensive.

Woahhh. Most people with school kids have the same issue with expensive holidays. OP can vent without jumping to conclusion that everyone hates teachers. Since covid teachers are super sensitive and jumpy it's like nobody can have an opinion.

It doesn't come across to me that OP is being hateful.

UrsulaIsMyQueen · 29/07/2023 20:35

Sherrystrull · 29/07/2023 20:33

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

There was nothing wrong with my response. I was responding to the little dig you made.

You clearly have a very tough life. I'm very sorry to hear you have no time to socialise and have a lot to deal with.

You know nothing about my life however.

I still object to your insinuation that teachers think non teachers have it easy. No teachers I know think that.

Honestly I was going to respond properly but this gets rehashed so many times on here that it’s just really really dull.

Tighginn · 29/07/2023 20:35

They are just looking for daytime drinking companions to make it look like they are socialising, rather than a problem they need to address.

Pippylongstock · 29/07/2023 20:38

I do understand where you’re coming from OP. I used to live overseas and would travel back to the UK for the holidays. I worked my arse off while my parents looked after the kids or they went to summer camps. I had to explain until I lost the will
to my teacher friends that no. It was not a holiday. It was working while having to manage childcare. I suppose at the heart of it, it might be that? The summer holidays are just one long juggle for working parents.

Sherrystrull · 29/07/2023 20:38

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

What gets dull? People objecting when other people make sweeping statements about them based on the job they do. It definitely does get dull.

QuickAnon123 · 29/07/2023 20:38

Wow I’m sorry that you felt used and upset and all these people have been so horrible. Ironically a lot of those being teachers and triggered somehow!

Imagine if they weren’t teachers and they picked you up and dropped you when they wanted to. (I’ve then dropped people for doing that as it was not pleasant to have).

The sad thing for certain industries is they get defensive about any job benefit. For teachers they have a lot of holiday. They get told they have it easy because of this so get upset when people are jealous, or would love to have that time off.

Most people work hard. When I worked in law, I could do lots of overtime, look after my family and be super busy all the time. This was on low pay and with standard holiday. Yes I was angry about teachers complaining then as I felt they had it lucky in comparison.

However, I’ve changed industries and now I’m luckier. It means I can sympathise more about the negatives.

But to go back to your original posts, it sucks that they expect you to now make effort when they can’t during term time. Your life isn’t any quieter because it’s summer holidays. Maybe you should explain that they need to make more effort term time.

(before people get angry at that, effort doesn’t have to be all day or lots of hours. A call, an hour, a short walk once every so often would be good for everyone)