Teacher friends in summer...every single time...

[Nursenance]

I'm not a teacher. I have a lot of teacher friends.
Every single summer I get texts saying 'let's get together over summer' , 'we need some days out over summer'.
Similar texts every school half term/Easter/Xmas.

It drives me nuts! I am still at work and in my routine. My weekly routine continues through the year. It's like an assumption that cos they not busy noone is!

For the rest of the year its always they too busy to text, can't meet cos working/marking.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China but just drives me insane when they don't seem to realise that the rest of the world does not exist for school holidays.

I think you’re being ridiculous. It’s not about you and your working life and your routine. If you don’t want to meet then then don’t! Fwiw, I don’t have any teacher friends and yet all my friends say “let’s meet up over summer” as we’re more likely to go out!

And, yet, they still have the capacity to socialise.

Exactly.

What an offensive post.
So you're basically saying we don't know what the real world is like because we've never left school?

You know nothing. 'bless them'? 'oblivious'? How patronising.

Our working hours are no different to anyone else they're just spread differently across the year.

I really don't understand the problem OP. They're not asking for you to spend two weeks with them, it's like the odd day out? Do you work 24/7?

I do arrange more meet-ups over summer holidays but usually with people who I know are teachers and will have more time off or non teachers who don’t work during the week. I wouldn’t assume that people could meet up who were working and non teachers and would arrange to meet them in evenings or weekends. I don’t know many who would assume people could? Equally I do meet up with people during term time and sone times weekday evenings ( just not every night during term time). It’s just natural that teachers would make more plans during the summer. It’s 6 weeks and honestly I would actually have rather have 4 weeks instead of 6 and have it spread elsewhere for a variety of reasons.

I have to say this did make me laugh!

We definitely do know 😀

Who has said that? We just do a job that’s not busy at specific times of year and our time off is fixed. If you can’t meet up with your friends then don’t.

Many of my friends take some annual leave when their children are home from school, so sometimes I meet up with them during school holidays. I don’t demand their presence though, it’s all pretty laid back.

I'm not a teacher. I always take most of my time off over the summer and other school holidays and would assume that everybody else would take some of their leave over the summer as well.

Jealousy is such an ugly trait though.

Most people who roll their eyes at teachers wouldn't last a day in the classroom, and they know it.

I do know too. I was married to a teacher. And many of my friends and family are teachers.
I work with teachers. I see it.

But I also work hard in education without the pay grade of a teacher nor the holidays. My summer is full on in work.

I just think it should work both ways.

What should work both ways?

It's an awful trait but I don't think the OP comes across as jealous?

Mind you I don't think either that her teacher friends are assuming she's free. It sounds like they're just asking if she can get together.

This. It sounds like a few of them are teachers, so they know at least some of the friendship group will be around, whereas if you all worked non teaching jobs you'd presumably not know if any of your leave overlapped. Also as a pp said, most people in any job will tend to have some time off over the summer, particularly if they have kids, even if it isn't the full 6 weeks. So it makes sense to organise things when the chances of people being free are generally higher than at any other time of the year, even if yours aren't as high as some others.

And people often just generally go out more during summer anyway because the weather is (sometimes!) nicer. Even with a standard office job it's not unusual to do a long weekend if the weather looks nice, or knock off half an hour early/ and still pop to the beach for a few hours while it's warm, or go to the pub or whatever whereas in winter it will be dark and cold by 5.

I can respect that teachers work hard in term time and they can respect that I work all year round including summer.

This!!!☝️

Hmm I can see both sides tbh. I was a teacher in school and honestly, the only period where I genuinely did have free time was the summer hols - no marking and a good stretch of time off. I do see that it's annoying to assume, but ime lots of parents take time off in the summer when their dc are off and the weather is nice. Teaching for me was so all-consuming, I really struggled to socialise much at any other time.

That's exactly it.

I tell my friends I'm free because a) none of them have school age children and I don't expect them to remember term dates! And b) because I don't want them to forget I exist!

I certainly don't expect them to be free at my command. But we can usually find some time to get together over the 6 weeks holiday.

They have to really, otherwise they’d never get chance to socialise, would they? Not having 6 weeks off in the summer, and all.
I actually don’t have any time to socialise. Full time job plus a disabled child (and two other children). I work evenings and weekends to make up the time I need to take him to appointments on week days, and so does my husband. We alternate work/childcare. I’m not a teacher though, so I obviously have it easy.

Teachers do respect that though. I turn down invites in term time and arrange them for holiday times. My friends understand as we're adults and realise all jobs are different.

Do your friends not respect this?

If you’re flat out all year round, surely it makes no difference to you if they want to meet up during a school holiday weekend or a regular weekend? Or am I missing something?

Sorry not RTFT but YES OP! I hear you!
I totally get it it’s a very stressful job and my dear teacher friends kind of ‘go under’ during term, but then when they break up (couple of weeks earlier than my kids as most of them are in private schools) they suggest meeting for coffee in the day and seem to totally forget I work full time… and have to pack the hours in before the kids break up so I can have a little more flexibility in holidays.
I know they don’t mean anything by it but yes it does annoy me! No I can’t meet randomly in the middle of the day on a weekday just because you’ve broken up, I work full time!! All year round!!

I don’t think it’s an assumption that everyone is free- it’s when we come up for air and are keen to see people.

Those of us without teacher friends manage to catch up during the summer too as well as term time. Not sure it’s any harder for teachers’ friends to book half a day on a Friday PM than for those without teacher friends.

Friday afternoon on A/L for a friend or five to catch up and a down a few wines are the best.

@UrsulaIsMyQueen

No one is saying non teachers have it easy. Explaining why teachers prefer to socialise in holiday time is not being derogatory to anyone else.

If you want our lovely holidays then come and be a teacher.