I'm stuck in the loo forever now aren't I?

[YesitsBess]

TW, bloody huge gallopy fucking spider.

I was having a nice day. I worked from home, had a nice dinner, settled down to watch a film with nary a care in the World.

During intermission I decided to go to the loo, and somehow managed to not see THIS WANKER until I was on the throne so to speak. She's approximately the size of a labrador.

She's frozen, I'm frozen.

I live here now don't I?

Are there seven legged monstrosities?

There are now

Actually I quite like them, but get that plenty don't - now you're free of the bathroom do you have a washing up bowl or something you can chuck over it? (Means you can stay further away than using a glass)

You can borrow one of my cats if you like - he an ex-stray and is very enterprising when it comes to legged snacks.

Nope, but just wondered on the off chance. You never know. It's a crisis (hostage really) situation, innit?

I had a cat once who used to "usefully" catch wasps for me.

Looked like the Stay Puft marshmallow man for most of the summer the daft apeth.

I've been bitten by spiders. Its sucks!

I found a spider on my pillow last night..... admittedly nowhere near as big as this one but.... on my pillow...🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
I shrieked loudly and flung the pillow on the floor, shouted for my DH (separate rooms) and fortunately it was still on the pillow and was dispatched. Had to share a bed with DH in his room.
Bloody HATE the things

Oh OP - you are brave And you've made me laugh - a lot! Thank you You've made my evening

She doesn't though. She's on the bathroom floor! I eat most of my dinners not on the bathroom floor.

OK but can you recommend anyone who ships withing 30 minutes? Delivermew?

That was awful even for me 😁

That is an amazing fact!

I like my spider. She's massive but she eats the flies. I fucking hate flies.
Just don't buzz and you'll be grand.

Uber me that fucker right now please!

I've grown to tolerate spiders.

I don't like being taken unawares by anything when I have no pants on.

Thems the rules.

You should thank "THE MATRIARCH" too. She started it 😊

Right. Move over everyone. Spider whisperer is here,

OP, put her on

Yes.

Never in all my years of reading about how to deal with spiders have I seen anyone suggest covering it in Helmans and passing it off to the dog as a crunchy salad

All my terriers have eaten spiders. I now have a dog that is not a terrier AND DOES NOT EAT SPIDERS. I am not sure what the point of him is…

NB: I haven’t tried the mayo trick though. (Terriers seemingly do not require mayo.)

Why do people say to leave it be in the house - step over it and let it go about it's business??! You wouldn't leave a massive great beetle in your house, you would put it outside. If a bee was inside, you'd help it out. A massive moth flying about - you take it out. Why's a spider and different or special and should be left alone to live in your house with you?

It's like when on facebook posts about sharks being spotted near people in the ocean, comments pop up saying "a shark in its own habitat - what a surprise". Well yes it would be a surprise / shock actually. People just want to come across a certain way.

Fantastic, I've sorted most of the adoption paperwork, just need you to pop over and sign?

OP I fear you have lost your single person's Council Tax discount ....

Rolls up sleeves what’s your address? They don’t bother me in the slightest. My husband is a massive arachnophobe and hides behind me squealing ‘kill it Bash, get it’ while I lift it outside. I had to remove a huge one at work as people were being a bit to theatrical about being afraid.

I had similar company a few nights ago...

OK...but do you speak Spanish?

She really only seems to react to Spanish.

We're live:

Jesus Christ what in the name of all that is holy is that.

Please tell me that's not in the UK!