Do you think you subconsciously judge other mothers' with 2+ fathers to their children?

[mysavinggrace123]

Could potentially have three children by three different fathers. (Already have two by two)

This isn't particularly something I would shout from the roof tops.

There is a part of me that feels I would have a tarnished reputation.

I mean, do I judge women with 2+ (children) fathers myself...?? Hmmm... I can't say I do, but I have definitely been 'surprised' by a few women who I would have never expected.

What do you think?

Not at all, it's none of my business, could be any manner of reasons, none of which are of my concern or should be anyone else's.

You can’t claim benefits for more than 2 children now

oh and did the existing dad accept the kind offer?

My thoughts on a mum with children to multiple dads, particularly 2 plus is more -
That poor mum having to juggle more then one male idiot in her life
How hard it must be to prioritise family life and the mum guilt which may come along with it
Hope the mum is supported

I wouldn't think bad on her for having more then one male partner. Things happen. It's not ideal. Just hope everyone can be happy including mum.

Two fathers, not at all. More than that I wouldn’t exactly judge, but I’d privately question why anyone would sign up for that. Sounds a hassle.

@threecupsofteaminimum completely agree. Some of the responses on here are just WOW.

Not only do I shout it I tell people 1st DCs dad was with someone when we were shagging and 2nd DCs dad was a complete ugly nobhead and we were both very drunk

Yes I would and do judge. Well, not 2x2 but 3 and above. I wouldn’t openly say it but internally I’m judging.

Do you even know how the benefits system works?

I judge if there are more than two yes. Do I care? Not particularly, it isn't illegal and people can do exactly as they please. That is providing they can fund it personally and not rely on the taxpayer to.do so.

I have 3 children 1 to ex who cheated and left me. The other 2 with dh. I was with dh a long term before we had a baby together and then had our last. If me and him were to ever split I'd never have another with someone else. My friend is pregnant with her 4th. Her 1st child was with someone else her next 2 were with her ex husband and her 4th is with her new boyfriend. I hope it works out for her but they got pregnant very quickly into the relationship.

For me it would depend how close in age the dc were, and how soon into the relationships they were born.

Any more than 2 and yes I think I probably would (whether it be a man or a woman), just because it's multiple children with multiple partners which seems like a chaotic home life for all the kids involved. I also do know that's really unreasonable and shit of me.

Yea I would.
I think if you've got two from two separate relationships and they didn't work, I'd concentrate on my children, no adding another.
A work colleague's sister has 3 by 3 and she's now married to dad number 3 but it appears that she's done that because it will make it look better.

Judgy people usually don't have a detailed understanding of anything. A vivid imagination is so much more useful.

There’s a mum at my kids school 6 kids 3 different fathers they are white and mixed race so it’s very clear they are not full siblings to everyone and sorry yes I find hard not to judge. They are all girls so part of me wondered if she kept going in hope of having a boy but sometimes you need to know when to stop.

Quite surprised how much people are absolutely fine with 2 dads then suddenly not fine with 3.

It seems such a hard line - why is one relationship mistake allowed but not two? You're dealing with two different people, it could be different things that break it up, completely independently. Like when you roll a dice once, your chance of a 6 is 1 in 6. And your second time your chance is still only 1 in 6, it's not better because you're rolling again...

But, also, I do get it.

My sister has 4 kids by 3 dads btw. The dads are all in the picture and really good with their kids. I can say my sis has made some pretty poor choices in her life and there's lots of times it drives me mad because the kids can suffer for it. It makes me quite sad realising how much judgment she must be facing from others though.

There's plenty of other ways to fuck up your parenting, not just how many men are on the scene. It's just one that happens to be visible to the outside world. Many families have unhappy relationships, alcohol abuse, all sorts, that we never know or see.

None of the fathers appear to be on the scene either
I don’t think anyone judges 2 (well most people won’t) but 3 + is different.

I don't know but this thread just puts me in mind of Katie Price .Chaotic lifestyle and constantly bickering with exes . I don't know how many kids she has or how many kids she has , but there you go .

I met my first husband when I was 15, married at 18.

First DD at 19
2nd DD at 21

Divorced at 23 (still good friends years later)

Met someone else at 25, had 3rd DD at 30, never married, he died when DD3 was 14 months

Met someone else at 35, and had an unplanned DS at 39, were together 23 years.

Judge away, I don't really care

I agree with this.

If the kids had big age gaps then I wouldn’t think anything of it but I’d probably unconsciously judge someone if they had 3 or more kids with different men with small age gaps.

I would also judge a man for the same thing and stopped seeing someone after I found out he had 3 kids all with different women and all under the age of 8.

No, as there could have been some very tragic circumstances behind the demise of some of the past relationships. A death, then an abusive relationship and finally happiness. I don't judge.

I would love to have a third DC. However as I've left the father of my first 2 DC, and not currently in a relationship, with my youngest almost 6, I've accepted it is not to be.

I would judge myself if I had DC by 2 or more different involved fathers as logistics would mean my house would feel like it was constantly in flux. I would also feel for the DC who get "left behind" or are going for fun times.

Having been a stepmum previously, more than 1 father to several DC in the family can be difficult for the DC.

I don't judge on how many dad's at all, I do have topics I'm very judgemental with though.

I'm from quite a rough area, there were girls on my old estate with 2 different dad's by 16.

Men are pretty valuable to their children.