Do you think you subconsciously judge other mothers' with 2+ fathers to their children?

[mysavinggrace123]

Could potentially have three children by three different fathers. (Already have two by two)

This isn't particularly something I would shout from the roof tops.

There is a part of me that feels I would have a tarnished reputation.

I mean, do I judge women with 2+ (children) fathers myself...?? Hmmm... I can't say I do, but I have definitely been 'surprised' by a few women who I would have never expected.

What do you think?

RE south Manchester woman, I'm fairly sure I know who you're talking about and she is an absolute disgrace 😭😂

@GreyCarpet great post!

By the time I get to know someone well enough to know this information then I'm past the judgy stage and probably have enough insight into their lives to understand them.

Honestly, yes I would and I have 2 children, 2 dads. However my first dc was born during my 1st marriage and my second during my second marriage. Marriages were 4yrs and 16 yrs long respectively. In my mind I think this somehow makes it more acceptable, however I know some have looked down on me. I did not make bad choices, but not great ones either! I think the fact I have always had my own money, good job, earned well and own mortgaged nice large home/s has probably cushioned some peoples view of me. I am 52 now and my DC's are 23 and 16. Oldest has their own home now and good job. Sometimes when I meet guys ( my age with their own grown kids) I still feel a bit nervous telling them my dc's have different dad's, even though my dc's are not part of my package now iyswim. I think there is still some stigma but not like there used to be. I also think that your financial status does colour peoples judgements. By that I mean, 3 dc's, 3 dads, no marriages, all under 10yrs old, no job, living on an estate - looked down on. 3 dc's, 3 dads, over a 20 yr period and all from marriages, good job, own home, living in Highgate - not so looked down on . Ultimately it is a form of snobbery but also as pp have said, does hint that some poor choices have been made along the way, as has been my case. I am older and wiser now and if I had my time again would have made diff choices and had more confidence in myself. My DC are lovely young adults and make me proud everyday so I am never ashamed of our family dynamic.

Not in the slightest.

My ex had 9 kids including ds. I was his 3rd wife. As far as I'm aware he sees 1 of his kids. 6 girls and 3 boys. Ds was his youngest and when we divorced he decided to have nothing to do with him because its emotionally draining. I certainly judge men with multiple kids.

I have no idea, he wasn't exactly handsome. To this day, 15 years later I still have no idea.

Not at all.

but a person i know of has 4 kids by 4 different dads. Then she is the village bike. And a right trouble maker.

I try not to judge them.
My late grandmother had 4 children by 3 different fathers, and if people knew her story they would understand how she came to be in those circumstances and it’s not what you what assume.
She was heavily judged by other people though - especially because of attitudes at the time.

Presumably you didn't judge him when you met him, already with 8 kids?

No.
But I did ignore all the red flags for reasons only known to anyone but me.