Gay son and younger siblings

[Findme23]

My son is 16 and has a boyfriend. They both kiss infront of my 7 and 8 year old sons. It's sometimes just a peck on the lips. Or slightly longer type kiss but nothing over the top . And they sit closely hold hands etc.

I have felt that my 7 and 8 year old are ok to see this. I have told them that all relationships are different, sometimes its 2 woman or 2 man or 1 of each. They don't make it an issue they do make silly giggle sounds and point etc . But that's no difference to if they was to see me kiss their dad . Just standard silly kid stuff.

I also want them to know different relationships are normal so they grow up with it and won't really question it or it be a thing when they are older.

Now ex feels the complete opposite that gay people should not kiss infront of children. It should be kept behinde closed doors. But he has nothing against gays .

Me and their dad were not living together. But we were still seeing each other. That is done with now . And he's not spending any sort of time in the house like he used to or the odd weekend like he used to. Kids have asked why. So far I have just said things like daddy is in a rush , to miss traffic. So you can see nanny faster and hings like that.

Just to add my older son is gay as well but he's very private so he would not display any noticeable effection anyway . He gets on ok with him

Is my thinking wrong ?

But you are. You could have stopped ages ago, or admitted that perhaps you do have some views that you need to re-examine.

You have made an active choice to post your horrid views online. You've shown yourself for the homophobic person you are. Learn from this and grow or keep your opinion out of these discussions.

Fine but I’m not homophobic

I don’t think you know what homophobic means.

having a fear or dislikeof gay people or queer people (= peoplewho do not fit a society’s traditionalideas about gender or sexuality):

you have a fear. A fear that your children could be influenced into becoming gay. You don’t have a fear that your children will be influenced into becoming straight.

that is homophobic. You see homosexuality as an undesirable outcome for your children. Something they should be protected from.

No you just think that homosexuality is deviant and that exposing children to it turns them gay which should be avoided and that it's promoted too much in society and that people choose to be bisexual.

“Boo bloody hoo” is the phrase that springs to mind.

You are doing the right thing. Just keep the ex out the house. A bit of kissing and hand holding is fine in front of kids. I would make sure the younger kids understand what homophobia is in an age appropriate way, so they can understand that just because their dad feels a particular way doesn’t make their brothers actions wrong.

You sound like an amazing mum.

I don't think it's any different for gay couples or heterosexual couples. However, I think anything more than a quick peck should be kept private personally.

Whether or not your ds and his bf are being inappropriate depends in my view on what you mean by "a slightly longer type kiss". But that has nothing to do with them being gay.

Holding hands is fine. Being all over each other in public would not be fine. I would say the same thing to my dd and her boyfriend if they were going OTT with the PDAs.

My 8 year old heard my 16 year old talking about people being homophobic. Now the 8 year old is saying people are costaphobic

So why do you believe it?

Oh hellllllllll no. I have an 8yr old and that would NOT be happening in front of her

What wouldn’t be happening infront of her?

a hand hold? A kiss?

why not?

What, two teenagers giving each other a quick kiss?

You are though.

Why?

That's inaccurate. Some people may have mild fluidity which is more likely to be explored in a more accepting environment, but the majority of people do NOT have the capacity to be attracted to the same sex.

I'm bisexual myself, I know these 'everyone is bisexual' types, they're annoying & full of hot air.

Do you believe this is why you are bi?