Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

How could he cheat(update)

466 replies

howcanhedothis18 · 19/07/2023 19:11

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

OP posts:
DancingFerret · 24/07/2023 18:03

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, OP, although based on what you've posted before it was always a probability. He's a truly nasty piece of work.
If the police haven't already taken photos of the marks on your neck, make sure you do as they'll be evidence.

Scottishskifun · 24/07/2023 18:03

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 17:25

I’m just getting PIL involved and it’s such a fucking mess right now! I think I need to move away with kids away from everyone.

Stay with your support.
It's been a hell of a day and the police officer is right. You will be in full on fight or flight mode given today its completely understandable but your PIL are helping you.
You are not making anything worse, you are not causing their heartache their son is doing this. You are not at fault whatsoever he is abusive.

Please please please have some self care have a bath, pj's etc but know you are not to blame for any of this. Your PIL, SIL, the police and everyone else sees it.
Sending huge love ❤️

adriftinadenofvipers · 24/07/2023 18:19

This is probably going to sound stupid, but I am almost glad for you that this happened today? He's been a simmering powder keg ever since you found out what the evil bastard was up to - I think a lot of us have been expecting him to blow at some point. So now he has, and you have the evidence against him that you need to protect you and your children. And TG you weren't alone when it did happen. Devious fucker had that all planned. I am sure it was a horrific experience.

You are not to blame for any of this - he is pushing the destruct button all by himself. Get him out of the house by whatever legal means you have, and then you can decide what you want to do moving forward, should it be rent somewhere else (though why should you be forced to undergo the financial pressure and I can't see KH handing over any money unless he's made to by law) or consider your PIL's offer.

Hopefully he will end up with a criminal record. I wonder what his employer will make of that...

Meeting · 24/07/2023 18:33

OP I am so sorry. I thank god for leading your amazing FIL into that house today. Honestly I feel like crying for you I've been with you right from your first post and his behaviour is just unbelievable.

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:34

Thank you all for your kind words. I’m hurting and im
just confused by what the hell had happened.

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:37

ive got appointment for house to rent tomorrow so just trying keep my mind busy. MY brother in law has rang saying KH rang him crying saying he messed up, my BIL said he told him not to contact any of the family due to his actions and that if he tries call Parents he will be disowned forever.

EVeryone is just in shock

OP posts:
DancingFerret · 24/07/2023 18:38

DancingFerret · 24/07/2023 18:03

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, OP, although based on what you've posted before it was always a probability. He's a truly nasty piece of work.
If the police haven't already taken photos of the marks on your neck, make sure you do as they'll be evidence.

Apologies, I missed your post saying you went to the police station to have photos taken.

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:39

Why has he acted like this? He didn’t want me in the first place that’s why he was cheating on me so why act like a fool now?
Im letting him do what he pleases why isn’t that hood enough?

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:39

Good*

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 24/07/2023 18:40

Horrible though it is, he's shown his true colours and you better and safer away.

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:40

PIL are changing their house locks tomorow morning just incase as they are not sure if he has the spare key.

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:41

I can’t believe he was in my work chair swirling it around like w
mad man when I walked in. When I walked in house to the kitchen I felt something wasn’t right but I carried on as his car was sent there and I thought it was all in my head

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:42

PIL want me have my head checked at the hospital as I didn’t realise but looks like I have a little cut and a quite big bump now. Told them I really don’t want to go, I rather stay home with the kids and forget about it

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:43

I think my head hit the door frame

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 24/07/2023 18:46

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:42

PIL want me have my head checked at the hospital as I didn’t realise but looks like I have a little cut and a quite big bump now. Told them I really don’t want to go, I rather stay home with the kids and forget about it

Please go to the hospital and get it checked. Better safe than sorry. And also good that the hospital have a record of it for any future escalations.

Crazycrazylady · 24/07/2023 18:47

Op. You poor thing but in a way this behaviour in front of others will only help you stay strong in the long front. This man is clearly demented and really shouldn't be around you or the kids for the moment

Meeting · 24/07/2023 18:50

Definitely go to the hospital

DancingFerret · 24/07/2023 18:51

HundredMilesAnHour · 24/07/2023 18:46

Please go to the hospital and get it checked. Better safe than sorry. And also good that the hospital have a record of it for any future escalations.

This.
Apart from making sure you haven't sustained an injury which might cause complications down the line, his attack on you needs to be documented as the situation has escalated so horribly to the point of police involvement.

Beeonmyeyelash · 24/07/2023 18:52

Definitely get your head checked. It's not just for the injury it's for evidence. Tell the police about it too, it will help the case against him. He's not only a bad husband he's a bad father. You have to look after the one good parent your DC have and that's you.

ohfourfoxache · 24/07/2023 18:54

I don’t say this lightly - go to the hospital

Adrenaline can mask pain, and it’s possible that you need medical help

poppitypop1 · 24/07/2023 18:58

Definitely go to the hospital. It will ensure your injuries are documented! Sorry you're going through this.

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:58

What do I say to the hospital? I can’t get myself explaining this to another stranger. I think I’m going up there in the next half hour. My SIl will take me she said she’s on way to PIL. I told her she has work early morning so just drop me off and il call for a taxi when finished but she said it’s fine she will make sure she picks me back up so sweet of her

OP posts:
howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:58

Will u guys keep me occupied while I go hospital I’m so nervous x

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 24/07/2023 18:59

howcanhedothis18 · 24/07/2023 18:58

What do I say to the hospital? I can’t get myself explaining this to another stranger. I think I’m going up there in the next half hour. My SIl will take me she said she’s on way to PIL. I told her she has work early morning so just drop me off and il call for a taxi when finished but she said it’s fine she will make sure she picks me back up so sweet of her

If you have a head injury, you shouldn't be alone tonight. Although the hospital will best advise you on this.

RandomMess · 24/07/2023 18:59

Don't take the rental, get an occupation order.