How could he cheat(update)

[howcanhedothis18]

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

Another one saying to go to the hospital - having medical evidence may well prove essential later on. Your PIL's suffering is not down to you . Neither is any of this their fault - sometimes even great parents have AH kids. But please let them help you - it will help their mental health feeling that they are doing something to address the damage caused by their son.

Don't be nervous. I am sure the A&E staff see this every day, sadly. Hold your head high. You have done nothing wrong and I am sure they will be nothing but lovely to you. Glad you have decided to get checked out. Hopefully it's minor but now you know what you are fighting against - you need every shred of evidence to keep him away!

Oh my lovely, I've been thinking about you today.

I had a horrible feeling he would get physical, but didn't think he'd go this far. Thank god your FIL was there.

Well, a very small silver lining is there's no way back for him now. Any threats will be criminal and dealt with by the police.

Please get checked out.

Your poor PIL, this is a parent' worst nightmare.

How is FIL doing?

He's acted like this because you've upset his applecart. Your role was to keep house, look after the children and generally be at his beck and call, unquestioning and subservient.

Part of his anger will be directed at himself for accidentally leaving the evidence of his infidelity where you could see it.
He's probably also getting flack from the OW because you told her poor husband (meal ticket) what she's been up to, confirming the suspicions he already had, and now her easy lifestyle has also gone out of the window.
Kh is basically livid, not because he's lost you as a person, but because you've done the unthinkable (in his eyes) by pressing the nuclear button on his cosy set-up.

The level of disrespect and rage he has for you is off the scale - you were the housekeeper who kept his comfortable life on track and he thought he had you exactly where he wanted you, and his rage is off the scale.
A true narcissist.

FIL was in shock, he is a lot older and bless him he put up a good fight for me, I’m crying just saying that.
FIL went straight into protective mode and if he didn’t enter the house I don’t know what would of happened he was like a angel sent for me.
hes told me stop crying and told me it’s not my fault. He will stand by me unroll the day he dies he said. Bless them my PIL said never have you made it hard for us when u come into this family, in all honestly you have made us a stronger family. I love them a lot x

Untill* sorry my spelling is everywhere as I can’t stop shaking too x

Lovely people, by the sound of it. You're lucky to have them in your and your children's lives. It such a shame you married their son to find them.

Make sure you include PIL listed in the assets you want to keep from the divorce!

Seriously they sound amazing. All three of you will come through this.

PIL and sil have just asked me if he has done this before, I can honestly say he’s never laid a finger on me…..yes gets very angry and shouts but never touched me.

I feel as though something is telling them I am not been honest with them but I really am.

KH has messaged FIL apologising telling him the only reason it escalated was because FIL got involved in a situation he shouldn’t of.

FIL response- all my life me and your mother have tried to give you and your siblings the best in life. I really thought we did well, well mannered, good jobs, secure in their lives and a great family unit. Today you have destroyed everything we thought we had right. I am disgusted with your behaviour and your actions are vile. The day I raised your hand against a woman is the day u died in my eyes. I can tolerate a lot but this is not one. Your mother is heartbroken and so am I. Please give us some space while I understand what the hell happened

U*

My SIL helped send that message to KH for her dad x

Off to hospital in 10 mins…..so nervous

I just don’t know what to say OP. But I’ll start with:

• take care of yourself. You need hospital, GP and a counsellor
• how DARE he! Police, police, police. For every bit of criminal activity
• Professional advice. talk to solicitor before renting or moving out of PIL. he should have a non mol after this weekends’ stunts. he can move!!
• take all the help you can get and don’t try to be proud
• Hold your head up high. Anyone surviving 10 years of that KH is WAY stronger than they think. This is as bad as it gets and whilst awful, this puts you in a strong position

and give those children lots of cuddles. They are lucky to have you and PIL.

Yes lots of cuddles for the kids. Right now they are having a game of monopoly with MIL, they have no idea x

Who the fuck does he think he is? “I only escalated cos someone else got involved?” No, you escalated as you’re an unhinged twat who thinks he can control and abuse everyone. Fuck off KH.

(Sorry for the language).

He's a liar he didn't only escalate because FIL got involved. Firstly he started it before FIL came in. Secondly he orchestrated that situation to get you alone in that house.

I feel awful for PIL too, please tell them they've done nothing wrong

Hospital will check you over just be honest with them.
Agree see your GP try to get some counselling set up.

KH isn't doing this because of anything you have done but because he's lost control and he is trying to take it back by any means.
Maybe his actions will start to sink in for him you are definitely far better and safer staying put with PIL for the moment.
Please be kind to yourself.

He’s one vile piece of work to lie so I can get into the house your right.
I keep kicking myself how did I not see all this before? It’s not like 1/2 years I’ve been with him for over 10 years!!!!!

Tell the hospital the truth. You were attacked by your husband, he got you round the throat, slammed you against a wall and you think your head hit the doorframe. You don't have to say details of your relationship only say about the injury, how it occurred and who did it. Those are the details they need to check you over properly and for the records. Of course we can all keep you company in the hospital. Also take a magazine and a drink/snack in case it's a long wait. Your SIL sounds lovely. I'm so glad his family are on your side.

You didn't see because he didn't let you x

I keep kicking myself how did I not see all this before? It’s not like 1/2 years I’ve been with him for over 10 years!!!!!

You was ten years younger with ten years less life experience. We change, learn and grow as we age. There's a reason why aging it's called getting older and wiser. You've seen him for what he is now, that's what matters. You can create a better future now. I managed to be with an alcoholic for ten years and not realize what he was, until all the little things added up and I eventually saw it. These nasty types train you slowly to accept their nonsense, you don't feel it happening it's insidious.

Is so sorry your going through this OP and that it's escalating - it must have been so scary!

Please don't move away from your PIL as you need each other to help get over this. None of this is your fault, he's reacting to a situation he created and it sounds as though his horrible violent side is coming out. You need to keep you and your kids safe and your PIL can help you do that. KH is an awful human being! Did you send the evidence to OW ex DH? It sounds like you were the perfect home maker for KH and he didn't realise what he had until you realised what a shit he is. Now it's too late for him it's not too late for you to have a happy life though. I hope everything is ok at the hospital

My god KH is the nastiest piece of work imaginable

Thank goodness your FIL was there. I think you had a near miss.

Your ILs sound amazing, please let them support you, they must be heartbroken to see you going through this, and heartbroken to know what their son has done.

I hope you don't have too long to wait at the hospital. Best to get checked out.

Long term, if your ILs are planning to move to the coast, do you think you and your kids might go there too?

Meanwhile, an Occupation Order and Non-Mol will allow you and your kids to stay in the house until you are ready to find somewhere else.