How could he cheat(update)

[howcanhedothis18]

Hi guys! Hope your all well. Just wanted to let the people that have supported me let them know I’m still hanging on there. Went see solicitors today went ok and also had some face to face with knobhead.

Some great advice from @Bluebellsbells above.
OP, it must have come as quite a shock escalation for you. Please do speak your GP about talking therapies.

Honestly OP, I know I don't know you but I'm so proud of you! 🤗

Got a bit teary reading your update. You sound so empowered. Good for you!!

Have a big hug from one of the MN vipers x

Quite right too. At least while he is so volatile this is the best option.

I am as worried for you as your PiL are. Can you have a think some more about maybe staying with them for a while whilst this settles down?
The man literally hid his car so you wouldn't j ow he was hiding himself to pounce on you. That's petrifying. A ring doorbell on a private let isnt enough to protect you (I don't think) I think you need to be with people. He is scarily unhinged xxx

You're doing great xxxx

Thank you for all your advice guys. I have a update I’m fuming- police came over PIL to speak to me about the incident and I told them I still have clothes and kids stuff at house. They told me they can take me to pick up few things so I though brill at least I’m with the police. I entered the house with them went upstairs so find all my stuff destroyed!! My contact lenses he ripped up, my clothes were all in the bath and shower bleached up, my dresser with all my makeup on the floor broken, he also had smashed up the kids iPads/tablets. Police told me stay out the house and they will now get arrest warrant for his arrest due to all this.
Even the police said he is not right to do this.I’m back at PIL house for the house view at 1. I literally have nothing

Wow OP to even smash his children's things he knows no limits to how low he will go.

Remember stuff is only stuff and at least you're not badly hurt.

I really recommend you stay with PIL for a while longer.

Forget my stuff but he knows the kids needed their iPads/tablets during the holiday! He is so spiteful

When he is arrested you move back in and he will not be allowed to return and you get the occupation order.

Have you spoken to Rights of Woman yet? It's a simple procedure and they will help you do it step by step.

Don't disrupt your DC by moving into rented.

I am so glad the police were with you. He won't get an access now unless it is supervised. I mean why would he smash the DC stuff. You will also me able to get a non molestation order and other measures to prevent him disturbing you. Are you now back in the house OP? Things can be replaced in time and I am sure your lovely PIL will help.

You do have something, you have your kids, ILs, bravery and your dignity. He's brought all this on himself !

You already have a solicitor add on an occupation order.

Once you are in the house he can't come near you.

He is a total scummy bastard!!! Protect yourself from him in every way you can x

What a vile piece of shit! I’m wondering if this can be logged as abuse against the children too, surely it would be seen as him not giving a shit about them destroying their property? Hopefully it will help in some way towards him only being allowed supervised visitations.

I’m going 1 steps forward 10 steps back

He knows they were my subscription lenses that I need. He’s also ripped up pictures of my late grandad it was on bathroom floor. Why just why????

I managed pack up kids clothes but couldn’t pack anything for my self. The KH decided to
leave me 1 coat and a pair of tights out of all my clothes I’ve had enough I really have

my house looks a mess, I know it’s just stuff but I took pride in keeping my house nice he’s destroyed everything

No Wonder Woman/men stay with idiots like this, it’s too much hassle and stress. You rather sit back and take it then deal with all this honestly it’s hard work

I don’t know what tell kids about their iPads. They asked me and I said oh I forgot il get them
later I just can’t get myself to say anything else. PIL have gave me their card and said order them new ones today and get ya self the stuff u need. I can’t keep living off them it’s not their fault.

That's not what I see - I see a woman who is pushing forwards in insanely stressful and upsetting times. If anyone is taking 10 steps back it is that vile excuse for a man/human being.

I'm so sorry. He sounds positively dangerous.

I would log everything with the police. I'm sorry about your photo. When are you due to speak to them again? Do you have a contact officer on your case? This shows what a danger he is. He is textbook dangerous man who has been wronged and I really think you need to be hyper vigilant of that right now. Sorry I hate to be negative.

You're doing amazing. You really are. I know it doesn't feel like it now. But you'll look back on this one day.

I wish I were nearby. I have fair to middling advice but im bloody good with hugs and tea. I think you need as much real life support as you can. Thank god for your in laws.

If you can afford it I think I'd want the rental house too because KH doesn't know where it is and you have no bad memories in it. The marital home can be sold and you can buy somewhere else. Can you afford rental though if you only work part time? You won't get housing benefit when you own another property, they'd expect you to live in the one you already have so the rent will have to come out of your earnings/other benefits.

Op
Never doubt your decision to leave. It's not just about you. What would happen when your kids kids the awkward teen years . He sounds positively unhinged and you owe it your kids to keep them safe from him now that the scales have totally fallen away. What an utter lunatic

You are doing amazingly - try as much as you can to not dwell on this destruction by him, he wants to upset you and get a reaction. Don't give him the power over you. Take up your lovely PILs offer to buy some things - you can always try and pay them back later (or KH can). Press charges for everything- so glad you had police with you to see all of this as evidence.

Stay strong - the only way is up from here - it just may take some time but you totally have got this. Still you should contact women's aid and things suggested upthread as they will absolutely have helpful info and support for you!

Just try and take care of yourself too! Your PIL have a point that perhaps for the short term you might be safer there so don't rush into renting somewhere if it will be hard financially for you, you can take a bit more time to get your ducks in a row as they seem happy to support you & I'm sure are helping you with the DC

Sending support & strength, but you've totally got this

Please take Pil up in their offer and as po have said don't rush into renting somewhere. You need to decompress an awful lot after everything you're going through. And report report report everything to the police. Very unmumsnetty hugs to you.