Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Omg I had enough

286 replies

271726a · 14/07/2023 22:42

May Need to scan my other threads for this to make sense.

So there is a social worker involved due to my sons violence/aggression.

It has been said there are no worries about my other children although I did allow social worker to talk to the younger kids . And the school. They have no concern.

Now I just had the social worker email me about an hour ago . Asking me about my younger kids Jabs . Questioning me why I have not had them done and telling me i have a week to sort it. Now by law I don't have to have them done and as a parent I don't have to . But yet there they trying to force it .

To be honest I don't feel overly strong either way. I can't even remember why I did not. I had Been in temporary accommodation and then covid etc so possibly slipped my mind. So it's not the end of the world for me to sort it. What I don't like is the demands of doing it by next week. And the over the top interference of my children. When its Been agreed thus is about my 16 year old.

When we had TAC meeting a few days ago my younger children were not even mentioned. It's like they never existed.

I honestly have enough to cope with

Anyway if there are any social workers here or who l lws the system can you please explain this to me?

Just to add this is not a jab debate and I will ignore any attempts to turn it into one.

OP posts:
Original poster
271726a · 16/07/2023 11:43

Philosopherstone · 16/07/2023 11:29

@Ds16dv As a Social Worker I know that sometimes the information given can be a lot to take on I mean I would even struggle myself especially as you may be feeling stressed and anxious. Feel free to take your own notes during any meetings and you don't need permission for an advocate you can have anyone you like with you for support. If I'm out to a family especially if distressing I often tell them to ask their parent or sibling or even a friend to be there for support and sometimes this is even help to help to keep things calm and on track as the other person can see from another side.

If I had someone out to visit me unfortunately I would likely record aswell for myself only.

Things sound a little confusing I would ask for a meeting with your Social Worker and bring your advocate to go through things clearly such as what support your asking for, what they can do and expectations and plans. They should be working alongside you not giving demands and against you.

Thank you . I'm.a little confused . Do I ask for an advocate via social services or do I need to find one myself from where ever?

It's only my daughter that could do it. And I don't think that would work well.

OP posts:
Philosopherstone · 16/07/2023 11:45

@Ds16dv perhaps @Jellycatspyjamas can answer it's different over here on NI we don't have a professional advocacy service. Someone usually just uses someone they know sometimes the relative is an actual Social Worker somewhere themselves or works on health and social care.

Philosopherstone · 16/07/2023 11:45

*in

Original poster
271726a · 16/07/2023 11:54

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 11:32

Feel free to take your own notes during any meetings and you don't need permission for an advocate you can have anyone you like with you for support.

Good advice to take your own notes, in your situation though I’d use a professional advocacy service rather than a friend or family member, because you need quite strong support in the moment and friends and family often struggle with that. Using an advocacy service takes the emotion out of it, which can be very helpful where things are a bit heightened.

Yes exactly. Someone I know personally would not work .

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 11:56

If you have a look at the Family Rights Group website @Ds16dv youll find information about advocacy services. I’m in Scotland and parents have the right to use advocacy services in child care processes. It’s a poorly understood process even by many social workers but it’s perfectly appropriate to request one. The Family Rights Group have loads of information that you could share with your social worker (and her manager) in support of your request.

Original poster
271726a · 16/07/2023 11:58

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 11:56

If you have a look at the Family Rights Group website @Ds16dv youll find information about advocacy services. I’m in Scotland and parents have the right to use advocacy services in child care processes. It’s a poorly understood process even by many social workers but it’s perfectly appropriate to request one. The Family Rights Group have loads of information that you could share with your social worker (and her manager) in support of your request.

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 12:28

That’s the service they offer, but they also have research and writing about advocacy more generally if you look under information in training for practitioners section. Your local authority should have details of advocacy services they work with, but the FRG information should support your case for advocacy.

Original poster
271726a · 16/07/2023 12:48

I just been googling everything seens to be advocate for people with learning difficulties/disability. I mlgjt see if I xan contact CAB I will contact family rights as well they may be able to refere.

Is it unreasonable to tell social worker not to contact me at inappropriate times . It gone 9pm on Friday

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 13:22

Is it unreasonable to tell social worker not to contact me at inappropriate times . It gone 9pm on Friday

Not at all, I can’t think why any team based social worker would be contacting a family at 9.00 on a Friday night for anything that isn’t screamingly urgent - eg there’s a child at immediate risk.

Original poster
271726a · 16/07/2023 13:33

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/07/2023 13:22

Is it unreasonable to tell social worker not to contact me at inappropriate times . It gone 9pm on Friday

Not at all, I can’t think why any team based social worker would be contacting a family at 9.00 on a Friday night for anything that isn’t screamingly urgent - eg there’s a child at immediate risk.

That's what I thought. I'm going to mention it to the manager when I call her tomorrow.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page