Omg I had enough

[271726a]

May Need to scan my other threads for this to make sense.

So there is a social worker involved due to my sons violence/aggression.

It has been said there are no worries about my other children although I did allow social worker to talk to the younger kids . And the school. They have no concern.

Now I just had the social worker email me about an hour ago . Asking me about my younger kids Jabs . Questioning me why I have not had them done and telling me i have a week to sort it. Now by law I don't have to have them done and as a parent I don't have to . But yet there they trying to force it .

To be honest I don't feel overly strong either way. I can't even remember why I did not. I had Been in temporary accommodation and then covid etc so possibly slipped my mind. So it's not the end of the world for me to sort it. What I don't like is the demands of doing it by next week. And the over the top interference of my children. When its Been agreed thus is about my 16 year old.

When we had TAC meeting a few days ago my younger children were not even mentioned. It's like they never existed.

I honestly have enough to cope with

Anyway if there are any social workers here or who l lws the system can you please explain this to me?

Just to add this is not a jab debate and I will ignore any attempts to turn it into one.

Are you looking for a reaction

But surely if 7 years you should be very high on the list now for permanent housing? And no it doesn't explain missing the 8, 12 and 16 weeks, 2 years and then pee school vaccinations. Unless you've only missed some? It is years later and usually schools flag this when you join and support.

Op

I will bow out as I’m sure you’ll be pleased

but my goodness - I’m grateful and relieved SW are involved in your family. I really am

Well you have that 100% wrong only known sw 2 weeks.

If you’ve only had involvement for 2 weeks it’s far too early for them to say they have no concerns about your other children - they may have become involved because of your 16 year old but will assess the care of all the children in the household. It’s too early for them to make a full assessment in terms of a S20 - these are complex assessments and the social worker needs to show that your son really can’t live with you and that other supports have failed.

It sounds like they’ve become involved at a chaotic time for you, but they also could have helped with some of that eg arranging an uplift of stuff from your garden, helping with GP registration. You do sound a bit stuck and, dare I say it combatant - I understand you just want them to place your son but given how hard things have been for you, engaging with them might result in wider support which could ease things for you.

Adult Dbrother is infertile thanks to mumps as a child after our DM didn't get him vaccinated. As a result he and his partner have no children after failed IVF and my DC is an only child with no cousins. Your kids with not thank you for this.

OP you would get much more useful advice if you keep everything on one thread.

You're starting multiple threads, with no background, it's all relevant. People can't give you proper advice if they don't understand what's going on.

I wish all social workers were this on the ball, my experience with social work with a close friend has been absolutely appalling, no contact for weeks and little in the way of practical support. You said you don't have strong feelings either way so just do it and get on with your life.

I kind of get what your saying. But I'm just repeating what the manger said to me.

I would not have accepted help with the garden stuff act anyway. It has just really upset me with the pressure put on me tk do it (now) when I wanted to sort dd birthday and do it on Tuesday. But she pressured and worried me so much that I had to do it .

I have managed to fill in the forms on line for gp. I don't know what will happen with that but we will see.

My adult daughter has a social worker. And she knows the whole family really well. Because my grandson spends alot of time here. For a mix of rest bite , just because he can. Also at times for safety reasons. I also had check done etc . When grandson is here she will come here to do her visits. She has wanted to look round my house whete grandson sleeps . She's been in every room of my house without issue and without notice. The reason for this is because she's lovely she's fantastic . No assumptions no judgement .

So I think its how this social worker approaches things is what causes upset.

Even my son comes and says social worker said you said xyz. And then I'm I never said that at all. It's very hard to work with a social worker that does this 3 of us have experienced this with her

Exactly. It's not so much I won't get it done . It's her pressuring time line. I don't even know how long the gp will take to accept us. So I can't get jabs till that's sorted anyway. But also its still the fact I don't (have) to get them done . So why the demand. It all seems to be about control .

Shes even questioning me about when I'm going to get my cough looked at. I'm an adult what's it got to do with her .

I’ve posted on your other thread about your description of the social workers practice, and understand why you’re struggling with her. In saying that not accepting help but leaving yourself in a difficult position is self defeating.

Your daughters social worker has a different role and remit and will practice according to that remit, she’s not assessing risk and childcare in your home. Unless there’s something very obviously unsafe, she isn’t going to be too concerned with how you run your home.

The current social worker will be exploring everything in terms of your children’s care, because that’s her job. She will want to see the kids sleeping areas, she’ll comment on the condition of the house, she’ll explore your children’s health care (did you give her contact details for their GP), she’ll pressure you to bring the home to an ok standard.

She needs to assess the safety and well-being of all the children in your home, not just your son. She may not be doing it in a particularly skilful way, but her priorities will be completely different to your daughters social worker so she’ll look at things differently. You’re 2 weeks in to a complex assessment process, it’s going to take time for her to complete that assessments.

Respite OP.
Sorry but it needed mentioning.

I'd do as SW asks.

"Respite op"

I don't get what you mean

According to the OP

i suspect her children are glad though

So there is an adult daughter who already has a child, who the op looks after quite often
This daughter has her own social worker.
The op then has a ds 16 who is violent, a dd who is 13 tomorrow and a 7 and 8 year old.
And in temp accommodation moved 6 times in 7 years.
So not really a one off bad time?

I really appreciate your posts and as I said you do partly get where your coming from
But I also think I'm getting misunderstood. It's not that I'm getting moody with you or anything. I just think I'm being misunderstood. I know you have Bern trying hard. But it's hard my end to.

Daughter due to domestic violence. Where he strangled her . And caused her a brain bleed . The person is a high risk domestic abuser.

Yes I look after my grandson.

Yes my 16 year old is violent towards me.lers hope he gets the help he needs.

You clearly know nothing about temporary accommodation . And how long it can take to get a home.

I am actually now In permanent housing. This actually happend as an emgency for both my family and my adult daughter. Ut came under life in danger due to her ex.

There you go loads you can use to victim blame have fun

@tidalway I have sent you a pm

Ignore them op. Some people have no idea how easy it can be for our lives to descend into chaos when faced domestic violence, housing problems and tough times.

@Herewego81 to suggest that op had house moves due to moving for man is so judgemental and rude. Not everyone is a stereotype you know.

OP it sounds like you have a tough time, take all the help you can and use social work to help build you back up.
Work with them, get your kids vaccinated and see it as a blessing in disguise that you had to get the skip early.
Maybe get some antibiotics for your cough too. Start looking after you as well

But I also think I'm getting misunderstood. It's not that I'm getting moody with you or anything. I just think I'm being misunderstood. I know you have Bern trying hard. But it's hard my end to.

It’s very hard, I know - it’s not easy to ask for help and find yourself under scrutiny and it’s awful when you don’t have a rapport with your social worker. And making blanket demands doesn’t help that - it’s clear you feel under pressure, and your son’s situation won’t be helping that.

You can also feel under pressure to agree to things that then leave you in a tricky situation - it would be worth accessing advocacy services to help you have your voice heard.

No, I disagree actually

this sounds like a complete shit show to me and a horrible environment for the children