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Original poster

Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

232 replies

Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:41

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:42

DS is 16 years old.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:43

And he seems petrified that I won’t give it back to him.
And I won’t be. I don’t know how to deal with it.

OP posts:
Freefall212 · 10/07/2023 03:47

Did you tell the police the whole story?

It seems he is a young kid being used by a larger network to sell drugs. He could be in danger and the police will be more interested in getting the bigger more powerful players.

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 03:48

It sounds like he needs it to pay a debt. I think you should minimise it to the police and say you’ve disposed of a small amount. Your son needs to tell you what’s going on

Ugzbugz · 10/07/2023 03:49

County lines. The police should be helping you as I doubt they will give up asking your son to work and bribing him. Probably offering him huge amounts of cash that will never materialise.

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:59

@Freefall212 the police have been involved in the beginning but I never imagined it was related to drugs.

A video had been posted online of him stubbing a cigarette out a the Quran. He said that he met some random people on Snapchat who told him that they were Muslim and had burned the bible and he could do it to the Quran if he wanted to so he did because they were laughing. This happened in January apparently but was only posted on social media last month. He claims to have no idea who these people are but I’m starting to wonder if it’s the same people he’s talking to now.

He hates himself and believes he deserves to die as it’s justifiable after what he did.

@Annaishere He really does need to talk. But he will tell me absolutely nothing.
I have begged the police to help us to move out of area but they didn’t feel the risk was high enough to be able to help. Drugs hadn’t come up at that point though.
If it was something like a debt that needed paying I’d pay it for him and I’d also pay the cost of the drugs currently on my premises to whoever they are. But he will tell me
nothing. Completely clams up on the subject.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:00

He has currently lost the majority of his friends as most were Muslim. The only people he has left to interact with is these two ‘friends’. And I really don’t believe them to be friends.

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Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:03

@Annaishere Do you think that I should dispose of some? I’m too confused to make a decision.

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Pawpatrolsucks · 10/07/2023 04:06

You need to send him away to live a long way away. The police won’t help. Find him a room in a share house, destroy his phone.

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 04:13

@Whatayear23 No, I think you shouldn’t touch it until you’ve had more time to think about everything. I meant just to say to the police if they ask that it was a personal amount and that you threw it out, because I think it’s unlikely they will stop the threat to your son even if he did tell them names.

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:14

@Pawpatrolsucks I asked children’s services to house him alone in supported housing, out of area, if we weren’t able to move as a family. But they made me feel that I was was being dramatic. I threatened to make him homeless so that children’s services would be forced to accommodate him, but they said that wouldn’t happen (which I know is untrue). But I couldn’t make myself go through with it.

He can’t stay here though, he can’t leave the house anyway due to the fear of being stabbed and he can’t continue his education in this area. But I’m running out of ideas. I have contacted my MP but what help that will do I have no idea.

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Pawpatrolsucks · 10/07/2023 04:22

You just have to send him on his own. Unfortunately unless something terrible happens you won’t get any help.

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:24

I’m also really worried about the repercussions from whoever supplied the drugs once they realise they are gone. But I would happily pay them for them.

While we had to stay away from the property for a week I went home to collect some clothes (only took about 20 minutes). DS received a message when I got back letting him know that people knew I had been home and a video had been taken of me by someone driving past in a car. Which is quite scary.

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Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:24

@Pawpatrolsucks but where would I send him. I have no idea.

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Frogger8395 · 10/07/2023 04:27

Did you actually see the message and the video of you at the house?

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:27

And this is where I may very well be being dramatic.

If these people are serious and they can’t get to him, I keep wondering if they will just get to me and younger DS instead? This is probably anxiety talking though!

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bowiesmum · 10/07/2023 04:29

I think you need to sit him down and make him tell you the whole truth. Maybe it is something g that can be worked like debt etc

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:30

@Frogger8395 No I didn’t see the video of me so I can’t guarantee its existence. It was on Snapchat and the videos apparently disappear. I don’t use it though so I’m not sure.
I saw the original videos and posts about DS though through screenshots, as did the police.

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Annaishere · 10/07/2023 04:32

The only things I can think of why he won’t talk to you is either he is being blackmailed and doesn’t want to say what it is or that he is scared you will tell the police, which could result in him getting hurt

Frogger8395 · 10/07/2023 04:34

Im suspicious about the video story. How strange someone would be driving past at that exact moment.I think it’s more likely he told someone you were going to the house.

Id be furious and I’d want him gone. What he’s doing isnt ok.

Frogger8395 · 10/07/2023 04:36

Did your sister witness the men in balaclavas?

Seing as he can’t be trusted with his phone you should take it off him.

HonorHiding · 10/07/2023 04:39

How terrifying OP. This sounds very serious indeed. I’ve just looked up my local authority in London and it says that concerns about a child being vulnerable to county lines gangs should be referred to the local Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH). Is there something similar in your area?

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:41

@Frogger8395 yes my sister witnessed the men in balaclavas incident along with her friends. There is also ring doorbell footage but the car registration is fake.

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whataballbag · 10/07/2023 04:42

He needs to be honest with you about what on Earth is going on. It's not acceptable that he isn't given that he's also putting you and younger DC at risk.

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 04:43

My sister and her fiends challenged the men who said they weren’t there for them, they were there for him.

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