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Original poster

Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

232 replies

Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:41

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Dibbydoos · 10/07/2023 08:16

He's being used by a drugs gang, OP. You did the right thing. Be prepared to move, run and hide.

I feel so sorry for your DS, he's in over his head. These drug pushers are arseholes.

He needs to drop these 'friends'. One sold on his location. They're not his friends but I appreciate its hard for him to get out of this.

The police will be investigating around this, hopefully they'll be tightening the evidence against these thugs.

Good luck.

Zanatdy · 10/07/2023 08:16

You need to move asap OP, he needs to dispose of the phone (or hand to police) and never use his real name on social media etc again, nor contact any of these so called friends again. As you know this is serious stuff and you need to get him out of there now before something terrible happens.

to the poster who think this is all a bit OTT - are you insane?

Delia123 · 10/07/2023 08:17

Oblomov23 · 10/07/2023 08:04

How much money does he owe for the drugs? My first priority is to get hold of money, and then use the drugs you do have to be given back plus the extra money needed to pay off the debt, will solve the first major issue.

NO!!!!!
Do not do this. Once they realise you're willing to pay you will never be rid of them. They'll see you as a soft touch and keep coming back for more. Do not engage with them in any way.
OP, does he think he's protecting you by staying silent? You don't know what threats they've made against you or others in your family. He may feel he needs to cooperate with them in order to protect you.

IamfeelingSad · 10/07/2023 08:22

Op I am sorry you are going through this. You’ve been given some good advice. To add to this I would consider approaching the very senior well respected members of Muslim community. It sounds very much like your son is vulnerable and he was coerced into acts to isolate him from his Muslim friends. If this could be recognised maybe he would be given some compassion and support.

Yeahno · 10/07/2023 08:22

You son needs to understand the seriousness of what is happening. It doesn't matter where you send him to if he going to keep telling his 'friends' where he is.

TheActualDevil · 10/07/2023 08:27

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Mischance · 10/07/2023 08:34

I understand the scepticism of previous poster and you may be right. But ..... this really is what happens when vulnerable youngsters get suckef in by drug gangs. Often a child with ASD will be desperate for friends and the pushers exploit this. I have seen this happen and the results are unimaginable to anyone leading a normal life ... you find yourself sucked into a hellish world.

Lavenderflower · 10/07/2023 08:35

This sounds like county lines - I think you need to have external agencies involved. I think you need to contact social services and insist he is removed.

Raspberri · 10/07/2023 08:36

I would prioritise getting him to talk to you. Can't he see that he's putting you and his brother at massive risk?

I would also be moving out ASAP. You'll never be safe where you are.

Don't know if this is a good idea or not but can't you just take the cannabis to the police station rather than waiting for them to come to you?

Seamsthesame · 10/07/2023 08:36

What are his plans for school next year, could you look at the option of State Boarding school? Then you'd just need to get him somewhere safe for the next 6 weeks (with family elsewhere perhaps).

Cosyfire · 10/07/2023 08:40

So sorry this is happening to you. I agree with everyone who've said you need to move far away. If you need help with financing that, consider contacting local SVP. They might be able to help you. This link has an email address. Probably better to Google contact details for svp in your area. There are a lot of good people working in it. Tell them your story and see what they can do for you.

https://svp.org.uk/request-help

One day at a time. Hang in there!

Request help

Going through a time of need. Get help now. SVP volunteers will arrange to visit you to make an assessment for help. Request help or make a referral.

https://svp.org.uk/request-help

Thehippowife · 10/07/2023 08:42

Do u have relatives who will put him up for a while? Someone out of county?

Wildmoors · 10/07/2023 08:43

Sending hugs it makes me so mad that people smoking “harmless” weed are turning a blind eye to the ugly truth

Moonsun88 · 10/07/2023 08:43

Pawpatrolsucks · 10/07/2023 04:06

You need to send him away to live a long way away. The police won’t help. Find him a room in a share house, destroy his phone.

After reading this I agree. Her needs to get out somehow. Sorry. sometimes police don't do anything until it's too late.

WilkinsonM · 10/07/2023 08:45

MummyBobbles · 10/07/2023 08:13

This is classic county lines! He has been cuckooed... a vulnerable teenager groomed and then used to sell drugs. He hasn't bought the drugs, they've given them to him to get him in their debt. Involve every agency you can. Demand a MARs, a multi agency referral. He is a child in need and this is a massive safeguarding issue.

Sorry to be pedantic but this isn't what cuckooing means. That's when dealers move in to the home of a vulnerable person and use the property to sell drugs.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 10/07/2023 08:48

While I agree he needs to relocate far away, the other issue is tackling the fact that he is making incredibly poor decisions and showing incredibly poor judgement. Keeping silent, not being honest about what is going on, putting his family at risk etc. Location may move him from the current danger but it does not mean he will not make the same mistakes in another location.

TheActualDevil · 10/07/2023 08:51

Mischance · 10/07/2023 08:34

I understand the scepticism of previous poster and you may be right. But ..... this really is what happens when vulnerable youngsters get suckef in by drug gangs. Often a child with ASD will be desperate for friends and the pushers exploit this. I have seen this happen and the results are unimaginable to anyone leading a normal life ... you find yourself sucked into a hellish world.

Yes, this sort of thing absolutely can and does happen to vulnerable kids all the time, but what doesn’t happen is that their worried sick mother posts every single blow by blow detail on the Internet in real time. Are we really to believe that she thinks somebody is watching the house, or has been watching the house, but yet she’s still prepared to post in real time on the Internet that her son has left the house?

come on, apply a bit of critical thought here. Your 16-year-old boy, a vulnerable child who has been threatened by men in balaclavas and who is scared to death of being stabbed has left the house, so what do you do? Do you sit on your arse typing out a blow by blow account on Mumsnet? Pull the other one.

Ohhhhhhhhh · 10/07/2023 08:55

Could you possibly try and find a short term let or air bnb for a few weeks?

PimmsandCucumbers · 10/07/2023 08:56

Honestly I’d move, change his number, this all sounds very serious with the threats. I think the cannabis is the least of your worries - get you all to safety and away from the area and start afresh.

LunaandLily · 10/07/2023 09:01

Don’t offer to pay your son or anyone for the drugs. They will come back to you for more.

Pinkprescription · 10/07/2023 09:05

As someone whose child was involved in county lines - the best advice I can give is getting your son out of the area. Also ask his mobile provider to change his number. He will also need to start again with social media. There are some amazing support services out there but they don't kick in until things are absolutely dire.

Pluvia · 10/07/2023 09:07

I knew a woman whose son was caught up in county lines. 'Nice' family whose son, who wasn't very bright and had started taking drugs after his father died, ended up in the kind of situation you describe.

She solved the problem by taking him abroad to live with her family. He through they were going for a fortnight's holiday. For the first year there he refused to talk to her and they had a horrible time, but it worked. They were away three years. He finished his education, learned the language and trained as a plumber. They are now back in the UK, but settled in a new area. She visited old friends here recently and I met them both.

Obviously not everyone can do that. What help can your DS's father offer.

THisbackwithavengeance · 10/07/2023 09:09

Some of the replies on here! Who said to send him to live in a HMO? He's an autistic child!

He is being groomed. He is being used and exploited by the lowest of the low - drug gangs, people who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Your poor DS is their dream come true because he is so easily manipulated.

Call the police and social services. Call 10 times a day until you get help. Make a nuisance of yourself if need be. He needs to be referred to the Youth Offending Team if he has been arrested.

He needs to be entered into the NRM by the police or social services (google it). Each council will have a team of people who deal with trafficking victims and that includes county lines. That will trigger a process hopefully by which he can be properly safeguarded and ultimately your family rehoused in another area.

Do not be fobbed off.

Whattodowithit88 · 10/07/2023 09:12

Personally I’d up and move far away.