Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

[Whatayear23]

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

I know nothing about this but I would also be very worried. Is there anywhere you could go and stay with your both of your ds’s?

This. Take his phone. Throw it away. Move yourself and your children. Tell no-one.

It all sounds pretty horrendous for you-you have my sympathy. My advice would be to retract your statement to the police as possession as that amount of drugs will get him a criminal record which won’t help him in the future. Instead, have an open conversation-I doubt he’ll tell you the truth though.
I really would consider moving away from the area if you can. It would be a huge upheaval, but it sounds like he is in over his head. He needs your support and firmness.

Move
Move him and yourselves as far away as you possibly can
This will not end well
I would be terrified for him

^ This

It looks like the Quran and cigarette was a ploy by his 2 new “friends” to isolate him. Has your son always been this impressionable?

100%

What? He has men in balaclavas following him! This is definitely county lines who target vulnerable teens.

OP contact this charity for advice and support https://www.catch-22.org.uk/find-services/county-lines-support-and-rescue/

Get you and your son out an away from the area asap. Move if you can, and I am not being over-dramatic.

I have just joined so I can post a reply to this thread, as I am so worried about your son and your situation, especially now you've confiscated the drugs.

If this is what it looks like, then your son has been trapped and the people doing this to him are already several steps ahead of any suggestions we could give you. They've probably controlled him by threatening to hurt you, which is why he is so terrified.

You will gladly pay for the drugs, but will these people happily accept the payment? Likely the money is not the issue here, but their reputation. Sadly the police are crippled by red tape until something actually happens, even though they know the dangers.

I really think the best move here is to get your son as far away as possible from all of it, so he feels safe and can open up to you. Do you have family in another part of the country you could stay with?

i would call the police again in morning explaining your fears.

st Giles is an organisation in UK to help children being exploited and involved in county lines I’d call them 020 7708 8000

Don’t leave house. It sounds like from your description he is terrified of retribution and the fact he no longer has the drugs will be even more scary for him as they don’t belong to him.

as others have said it feels like the only way forward is to move out of area for some time and destroy his phone but hopefully the police and children’s services can help you with this as in our county they work together to support families at risk in this situation. I would also call your local MASH or children’s services number and tell them everything.

I think it’s really important to remember he is a victim in this and has made some poor decisions initially but got himself in way too deep. All the best OP you’re being very brave keep going.

This sounds very similar to a few cases I’ve worked with. Grooming gangs exploiting vulnerable young men to sell drugs and pay off a never ending debt with threats of violence. He has autism and desire to fit in and lack of social skills will have contributed. Are the police treating him as a vulnerable person? I think you need to use the words possible country lines and child exploitation to highlight a specialist approach is needed.

this won’t stop now sadly they have their teeth into him. If he reports them by name or doesn’t pay what they say and return drugs, prepare for escalated threats or violence. He knows who they are, so letting him go is not an option. Support info https://paceuk.info/criminal-exploitation/what-is-county-lines/#:~:text=County%20line%20gangs%20use%20children,%2C%20violence%20and%2For%20grooming.
and police info https://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/what-we-do/crime-threats/drug-trafficking/county-lines
As a mum, not a therapist, I would work with the police but move straight away and not let anyone know where you are going. I would make

a social work referral and take legal guardianship for my son. I would make a referral to the local mental health team through new GP. This is likely to have been very traumatic for him….and you

but he’s not an average 16 year old. He’s vulnerable and has autism. He’s lost all of his friends and is having men follow him threatening him. He’s been goaded into doing inappropriate things by others that they’ve filmed and posted online. I have worked with victims of these types of gangs and what the mum is describing is typical hallmarks of abuse. The mum does need to take it seriously

F

Glad to see St Giles have been mentioned already, OP they are an excellent resource and well worth a call.

Re. your son being distressed - it’s likely because in confiscating the drugs, you are preventing him from selling/getting the money for them to take back to whoever is exploiting him, so he will be scared of the ramifications.

If you’re not currently open to children’s services, you can self refer into early help initially - google your local authority advice and duty line and give them a call. Explain exactly as you have done for us and request that your child is screened for vulnerability to child criminal exploitation (CCE). That should trigger an assessment by children’s services at least - I am basing this on what you’re saying here of course. I’d also speak to the police again and make them aware of his distressed reaction in the context of everything else that’s happened so far. Do you have a response marker on your home?

999 was called by my next door neighbour as he was being aggressive and shouting that he has nothing to lose and he can treat me how he wants to because he’s my son (he hadn’t been told about the cannabis situation at this point) I’m seriously stressed.
He left when he learned that the police had been called.
Police have gone to look for him.
To check he’s ok mainly.

@QuizzlyBears yes we have markers on the address.

@berryhol i have received a message from victim support, will reply to the message today to see if they can help. The message says that they can offer help to young people and those around them.

Please talk to the police about county lines op and seek advice from the specialist support lines mentioned above.

Hi OP, I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your family. You got good advice above from the poster saying to ring the St Giles charity and social services. Please do that this morning. And call your MP back today. As for the police, escalate to their boss - the head of your local police force. I’d also speak to your son’s headteacher this morning. In the meantime, I’d keep your son at home. Keep us posted.

Your poor son - how terrifying for you all. I hope you get the support you need.
🌺🌺

As PP have said, this sounds like classic indicators of County Lines. I would get back in touch with the police and make it clear you think that is what's going on, rather than a series of unrelated incidents. They will have a team that deals with county lines, as well as youth liaison officers who are specialised in supporting these young people who end up dragged into it. Often vulnerable young people are targeted and asked to do a one off favour, they then stage a robbery to establish a 'debt', so that the young person then feels locked in. I live in Darlington and work in a place with a lot of teenagers, it's a huge problem here because of the rail links we have, but the police are in regular contact with my workplace, and are doing their best. I hope it's as supportive in your area.

@Wafflesandcrepes he hasn’t been allowed in school since the initial incident. It was school that first raised the issue. They put him in isolation for his own safety and he was only allowed to attend his GCSEs under police escort.
He should be starting at college in September but can’t now due to threats.
I will need to sort his education out soon though somehow.

It's much more serious than that. It's organised crime and young people have been killed for being involved.

@PeapodBurgundy the officers that attended today were very supportive and said they would escalate it but no promises.
DS is back already and has gone straight to his room without eye contact.

Has he got an EHCP? Have you spoken to Social Care about this? He’s automatically classed as a “Child In Need” by virtue of his autism and even aside from this is entitled to a proper social care assessment. I would push VERY hard down this route too.