Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

[Whatayear23]

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

You need to report this to social services as well.

You need to be more proactive here rather than waiting for help. The police are useless in my opinion. I wouldn't rely on them for much at all although I would call them back and make sure you are using the right language. Eg county lines and exploitation.

Same with school. He is still on their roll till the end of term. Call them today. When they answer ask to speak to a designated safeguard lead. Don't tell the office anything else. Just insist that you need to speak to a safeguarding lead. Tell them what's going on. Again, talk about county lines and exploitation. Follow this up immediately with an email.

I swear to god we get so much training on this and are constantly told to look out for it.

Then make plans to get out of where you are. He needs to go and stay with family elsewhere. Don't wait for other people to sort this out for you.

It's absolute bollocks to say that this is normal behaviour. I've got a sixteen year old and I live in an extremely rough area. My sixteen year old is not terrified to leave the house, selling drugs or being threatened by people in balaclavas.

You have absolutely done the right thing reporting it. As others have said Social services need to know too. Be the squeaky wheel!
It sounds like a living nightmare. I hope you get then help you all need asap.

Have you read up on county lines?

it sounds to me like he’s got himself involved in something like that.

@Whatayear23 at least you know he's safe. How stressful for all of you! I really hope the police come through for you, and some of the agencies mentioned can offer support specifically in light of his ASD. He's lucky he has you, and that you're so on the ball in keeping an eye on him. A lot of young people don't have that. I hope to goodness this gets resolved, and quickly!

This does sound like County Lines. They’ve made your ds do a video that will isolate him from 99% of his friends and have then made friends with him. The problem is that he has been brainwashed by these people and can’t see what he’s doing.

Please get in touch with this charity
www.catch-22.org.uk/services/county-lines-support-rescue/
You can also get advice from the NSPCC who will be able to offer advice on grooming of your child and the fact that he is been exploited by these ‘friends’ and associates.

He's lucky he has you, and that you're so on the ball in keeping an eye on him.

This is very true.

It's actually made me quite angry thinking about all those stupid INSET days we go through about all this and then when it actually comes to it the police and your school aren't actually doing anything much at all to help a sixteen year old.

All that money spent on talking. And making sure we know all this information so we can parrot it back to OFSTED.

This. The Quran incident was to hook him in, possibly. He’s involved in County Lines type drug dealing/ drug transporting on behalf of the bigger names.

You need to get him, and you and other dc, as far away as you can.
Hand his phone over to the police though, don’t destroy it.
He must never contact any “friends” again, nor post on SM his photo, name, whereabouts etc…

@HurricanesHardlyEverHappen I really have been proactive. I have been trying every avenue to get us rehoused, both through social housing and privately. I have also approached the council of the area in which I work.

I have begged children’s services for help.
I have tried councillors and am waiting to hear back from my MP. I have considered making him homeless.

I have trawled through the the various housing options and housing association lettings policies and can see that we are indeed eligible for rehousing according to their legislation which is why I contacted my MP.

I have tried with the police but until something happens to the property or DS they said they are limited in what they can do.

I have tried CMHT, who have provided a letter of support for rehousing.

There is no other family I can send him to unfortunately.

I hadn’t considered contacting school though. So thank you! I will do that today.

Will also email the chief superintendent and children’s services now and ask them what they are planning to do to protect my children.

It sounds like he's been groomed into county lines drug dealing. Don't bin the drugs, wait for the police to collect them. The police should treat him as a victim not perpetrator. I have worked with families with CCE and it's scary stuff. We have placed teenagers out of area for their own safety but it's not necessarily a given as it often doesn't help as the teens will either run away or return straight back to it when they leave. The most important thing is to disrupt the networks. If you can move away from the area that's a massive disruption to your lives but may help. He needs to stay home or be with you whenever he goes out. He will owe someone for those drugs 100% so whether you want to pay it for him or not it up to you, once you find out who he owes and what. Be upfront with police though if you plan to do that.

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and lettings agencies ask for proof of employment (can provide) and 3 months wage slips, which I can’t provide yet.
previous income isn’t reflective of current income.
May need to find out how to contact landlords directly and discuss with them.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you, and if I made you feel like you hadn't done enough because it sounds like you have. I just meant the moving. He probably isn't going to get rehoused by anyone but you.

He needs to be open to Children’s Services under a Child Exploitation Team. County lines is a massive network that the police and Children’s Services are usually all over in trying to stop it. You should of stuck to your guns and ‘kicked him out’, they would have had to accommodate him under the homeless protocol and anyone with half a brain would ensure that is out of area for his safety.

I think you need to refer him to the local MASH (referenced above). This should be the same all over and you can usually refer directly as well as via an agency. Alternatively you could talk to the school and ask them to refer you - I would specifically mention that you think it needs referring to MASH, and the words vulnerable young person, county lines and exploitation.

You can provide payslips from your previous job as it's proof of continuous employment and a level of salary.

Sadly it comes across that the severity of the situation isn't being taken seriously by the authorities. This really does sound like county lines and deliberately isolating your DS is part of the way they operate. I'm really sorry this is happening to you as a family and I hope your MP can help.

I don’t know if it has to come to the OP moving and an investigation. It can’t come down to more than money (other than the Quran incident- were the men in the balaclavas white /?). Maybe involving the authorities will make him unable to talk it through when it could be resolved easier ?

I’m going to ask again; does he have an EHCP?

You need to call your local MASH, today and make a referral. Your son is vulnerable and very possibly involved in county lines. If it’s not county lines, he’s involved with people who are involved with bigger people - this isn’t a small amount that he’s bought himself to sell on, and if he has no money he’s most likely been told to sell it to pay off a debt. If the drugs disappear the debt increases.

Social services, the police, school - everyone needs to be involved. If your son is being followed by men in balaclavas and is too scared to leave the house, and then when he does leave is returning with a large quantity of drugs that he does not have the means to buy, then this is serious. I used to work in a supported accommodation service for teenagers leaving care - this happened a lot and it definitely wasn’t just “lads being lads”. We had more than one teen moved out of area by social care for their own safety. Do everything you can to get a social worker involved - make sure you stress his vulnerability.

You have done absolutely the right thing for you and your whole family.
This is definitively major danger to him, to your other children and even to your sister now they know her address.

He is lucky to be so young, he may not face charges, especially as they know they are threatening him all the way.
I think he needs to cooperate and give as much information about this people as he has. Police needs to protect you all, taking you out of the area asap.

Best luck OP.

He needs to tell you he whole story. His story has loads of pot holes and missing info. There's loads you can do. Practically. Find out how much he owes and pay the debt for starters. Then they won't be threatening to stab him.

You can Then move on, to working on him, no phone, getting him sorted, his anxiety, his lying.

You sound like you are doing a fabulous job. Your son is a victim of child criminal exploitation. He bas been isolated, groomed and must be terrified now.

Dealing with the system can be intensely frustrating. Please ensure that he is open to the child exploitation team (you may be surprised at some of the cases that social care don’t pass on to the police exploitation team) and keep going back to social care. If he’s not being protected by a CP plan then fill out a new child protection referral form for social care in writing after every incident until they start intervening. There’s likely to be an online form. It’s really important to keep up the pressure and the paper trail. I’ve known young people in this situation be re-housed but it’s not a quick process.

Now he”s finished year 11 the school won’t be pushing this anymore so you will need to carry on pushing yourself.

. It can’t come down to more than money (other than the Quran incident- were the men in the balaclavas white

What are you on about?

Firstly money is quite important in the drugs trade. Some would say that getting yourself in financial difficulties with drug dealers isn't something that you should brush off with an 'it's only money' attitude.

Secondly, 'the Quran incident' as you call it could be seen as a tiny bit of a worry to the OP. As her child is now being threatened online and chased by men in balaclavas and won't leave the house.

@MetalFences I’m saying maybe it can be easily solved with money. Unless the men in balaclavas were related to her son disrespecting the Quran rather than drug dealers

The BBC black comedies Outlaws and Black Ops both do good county lines story lines, I'd be inclined to watch them with your DC to see if it gets him chatting.

Your whole situation is exactly what school staff are taught about when learning about County Lines and how to spot that type of activity. You should also look out for a second phone that they use to contact him on.

The only option is to get him out of area, do you have any family elsewhere that he can stay with? And make sure he does not contact anyone else whilst he's there.