Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

[Whatayear23]

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

OP needs to wake up and smell the coffee. The police aren't going to help you. The fact they said they couldn't even come till Tuesday, speaks volumes. No availability, no urgency. Everything that needs doing is going to have to be done herself.

Going to bed with no eye Conte T is not ok. He's causing havoc and owes you an explanation. Sit ds down this morning and tell him he has to talk.

Be proactive. Do something. Be practical.

This sounds like county lines to me. This happened to a girl who I worked with. It was awful and such a scary time for her and her dd. She was only 13. You need to involve the police and your ds needs to tell them/you everything in order to get the proper help and protection. Have you got cctv? Ring doorbell?

If he’s not been out, he’s got the drugs from somewhere.. he’s lying to you and putting everyone in danger by not giving these people up.

Maybe, but maybe not. The kid has information and he's a target they wanted in their network. It's not necessarily as easy as repaying the drugs money and moving on. Best OP can do is keep the boy safe and with her as much as possible and hope they move on to new targets sadly.

I really don't think it can.

Hes telling you fibs here.

There are definitely no Muslims who are good, true Muslims and would say to burn the quran. Because they burned the bible. Even though the Bible isn't our religious book, there are still things in the bible that mirror with Islam. And also the bible frequently mentions the name God. So Muslims wouldn't do that or agree to our own Quran being burnt.

I think your son did thinking it made him look cool or whatever, and now Muslims ie his old friends have seen him stubbing a cigarette out on the Quran and have gone berserk. I would be very upset if a friend of my kids did this. And i have a teen son who is 15!
Maybe he has just made that whole story up about burning the quran to lie.about people chasing after him to cover up he is being used to carry large amounts of drugs.

Some of it doesn't make sense.
I strongly feel he is involved in county lines. And older people are using him to carry it and if he is autistic they see him vulnerable and they are using and manipulating him.

Can you not move him away?

As someone who worked in a rough inner city school for years, the only kids that ever successfully got out from this scenario were the ones whose parents either sent them (far) away or moved the whole family. I'm so sorry I know that's dramatic, but it does sound like things have gotten quite extreme.

I've never known one single kid to be able to extract themselves completely while still living in the area.

Police are totally useless. It's too complex an issue for them to solve - they just haven't got the knowledge or resources to address every part of the problem.

Hes telling you fibs here.

He's been fooled into it so that they have him over a barrel. Now there is a video of him that they can use to threaten him and isolate him from his former friends.

People saying 'that doesn't make sense' etc like you have done is exactly the result that the video is trying to achieve.

I'm so sorry, it sounds like your child has become involved in county lines drug trafficking. You need to talk to police and social services (call your local duty/referrals team asap) about support around this and push for The National Referral Mechanism process to be put in place.

Children shouldn't be criminalised for being involved as they have literally been groomed, but sadly often are, you really need to scream from the roof tops for support and help for him that is specific to what is happening to him.

It sounds like he's really high risk being at home right now, they will keep drawing him in. social services might be able to help (I can't make promises) in moving him temporarily to keep him safe.

The NSPCC has some useful resources and as I say earlier the NRM. Read up on that too.

I’m really surprised at the reaction of the police and social services. This appears to be county lines related, your DS has a large amount of weed so they must be trying to get him to sell it.

Your DS has ASD, he is vulnerable. What does your DS do for education? If he gets caught dealing there, hell he chucked out - this is really really serious.

If the police and social services aren’t supporting you, I agree with those who say you need to move him away NOW, at least temporarily. Do you have any family members who he can stay with.

Take his phone away. Get cameras on your house (it’s Amazon prime day tomorrow and wed, maybe pick up some cheap ones.)

You sound like a great mum - stay strong OP

I don’t think the OP thinks that “good, true Muslims” told him to burn the Quran. He was clearly manipulated into doing it by people who deal drugs and exploit and abuse children. It gives them huge leverage over him and is a common tactic in child exploitation. I’ve known children egged on to say racial slurs or perform sexual acts on camera, or to send nude or semi-nude images that are then used to leverage them into criminal or sexual activity.

Singleandproud · Today 07:21
The BBC black comedies Outlaws and Black Ops both do good county lines story lines, I'd be inclined to watch them with your DC to see if it gets him chatting.

This is a good idea, alongside the practical things.

OP, I am so sorry you are going through this. You are doing so much already and still fighting. I’ve nothing to add that will help but I do hope you can get him away from this.

Tell police you consider this a national referral mech case - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/human-trafficking-victims-referral-and-assessment-forms/guidance-on-the-national-referral-mechanism-for-potential-adult-victims-of-modern-slavery-england-and-wales insist they assess along these lines. This guidance can protect your son.

Tell social care he is at risk of significant harm under section 47 of the children act 1989, so they have a duty to investigate. Insist on a service, they can pull people together and likely have an adolescent safeguarding team or similar.

Catch 22, Red Thread and St Giles all good, see which operate in your area.

Go to your GP, get an appointment for him and tell the GP everything that is happening. Having health aware of what’s going on is useful.

Go back to your MP and local counsellors. You need to move house and quickly.

Phone your housing department and explain what is happening. Beg for help. You’re not homeless so this is unlikely to work, but mention county lines, NRM etc they might know what can be done.

I’m sorry to be alarmist, I too have lived in rough areas, there is a massive gang problem where I live, but your son is at high risk of harm. I have sat and cried all night as I heard a mum uncontrollably yelping over her son’s body after coming down to the bottom of our block when she heard he had been stabbed and killed and I will never forget that sound. This is going to be one of the hardest things you ever do, and it will be thankless but you need to find a way to move.

I third this suggestion, it’s a great and natural way to talk about what’s going on and doing what’s right.

It sounds like he is being used or groomed for county lines. The police need to know this. The tricky thing is that the one thing that would point significantly towards this to get the help he needs, is also the thing that would be evidence against him.
You need a solicitor and your son needs to be willing to talk to someone.
The police will be interested in finding the main players, but if your DS has possession of a big wad of cannabis obviously they cannot ignore it.

Exactly @Takoneko
You're so right @YellowDots

Its all very messed up. And I think the older men in balaclavas knew his mates are Muslims and thought what's a good way to get rid of his mates so they don't suspect he is doing county lines. And perhaps suggested burning the Quran was the best way. Bloody terrible.
Very sad that the son was so easily lured in by these creeps.

Op, you really need to move. Its worrying these people are watching your home.
Also how dare your son say he can do what he wants and treat you how he likes cos you're his mum. Has he lost his mind???!!!

Op, the police are crap. Get the ball rolling and get all of you moved to protect all your children. Throw the drugs out and please don't happily pay for them should losers come knocking on the door ! They could charge you an obscene amount of money.

My sister was a big time drug addict and was on everything, cocaine, heroin, weed, pills, alcohol and finally after 20 years came off it and now turned her life around. But i was nc with her for years and years because she was abusive and dangerous. My mother stuck by her through thick and thin and even gave her money for the drugs otherwise my mother would be beaten up. My sister had dodgy characters turn up at the door and was in and out of prison like a yoyo. We also suspected she was selling to people, being used for county lines also, and also that she was selling herself for drugs. My mother wanted her off them but my mother is very weak and my little sister was a perfect angel. I had such a crap childhood. Even horrible people would turn up at the door, looking for my sister and police would be coming to the house with sniffer dogs. It was awful. The garden was dug up looking for drugs. It was horrible going through it all. I had to leave as soon as I was 18. It was a bloody terrible childhood growing up. Real terrible characters hanging about the house and weirdos in the garden at 3am. It was really scary. They were either looking for my sister or demanding money and drugs.

Please get your son away from these people. Chuck the drugs. Go through his phone and then destroy it. Get him to be honest with you.
Start afresh.

I wish you all the best.

This.....direct the narrative with the police and make clear to them your son's vulnerability, which is exactly what county lines runners look for.

Young kids just experimenting with cannabis and being idiots don't get followed by men in balaclavas with fake number plates. They don't get persuaded to stub out cigarettes on the Koran and then have the video put online months later as a method of control. You need to take this seriously.

County lines is major city drug dealers finding lines of distribution out in the countryside by grooming and exploiting people like your son.

And yes call MASH (multi agency safeguarding) too. They connect up social services and police for vulnerable people

Just to repeat the encouragement to seek support and advice from St Giles, this is the webpage for parents:

www.stgilestrust.org.uk/support-us/keep-children-safe/help-for-parents-and-caregivers/

Wishing you the best with your next steps xx

So what are you actually going to DO OP, practically? You've been given good advice. Now you need to be practical and actually DO something.

This.

so sorry op. I know that doesn’t
help really but I don’t know what else to say. Perhaps you should contact social services as ds sounds very vulnerable.

Havnt read all thread but sounds like County lines. He will be worried about the drugs being seized as he will be jlamed by the dealer. Police will help, your son should be treated as a vulnerable witness not a suspect but depends in circumstances. Make sure you tell them what you know and try and encourage your son to speak

How much money does he owe for the drugs? My first priority is to get hold of money, and then use the drugs you do have to be given back plus the extra money needed to pay off the debt, will solve the first major issue.

Sorry but not all Muslims care about the Quran so wouldn’t care if they used it as grooming tool,

@Oxborn yeah, very weak Muslims with little to no faith.

This is classic county lines! He has been cuckooed... a vulnerable teenager groomed and then used to sell drugs. He hasn't bought the drugs, they've given them to him to get him in their debt. Involve every agency you can. Demand a MARs, a multi agency referral. He is a child in need and this is a massive safeguarding issue.