DD12 - being scammed by friend?

[Doopersuper]

Hey, a bit of a wwyd!…and sorry, tried not to be too long but don’t want to drip feed! DD12 swims 4-5 times a week with a swim club. She & a friend have a locker that they share (we rent it on a yearly basis) so that we don’t have to worry about trailing kit around. In the locker they have their own stuff that they keep separately and a basket/bag of kit they don’t mind sharing. Friend was off for a week and in this time DD12 used a shampoo that was in the shared bag. It was in a supermarket own brand bottle. When friend returned they (and their parent) went nuts because DD had ‘stolen’ their expensive shampoo….apparently it’s a ‘designer’ brand that they had decanted into the own brand bottle and they deny leaving it in the shared section and claim dd took it on purpose (worth noting here it would not have served her hair type well in any way!). We have already stood our ground (it was ugly😬) and thought it had gone away but they’ve started demanding a replacement again after today’s training session. They want DD to give them £30!! Part of me thinks we should just give them the cash and never have dealings with them again but the other part of me is questioning what example that sets for DD - just acquiesce every time you’re accused of something wrongly?! It’s all bloody daft but has become very unpleasant which is very sad. Actually, don’t tell me what to do, just persuade me that this sort of bonkersness is rare!!

What kind of idiot puts a £30 bottle of shampoo into an old supermarket brand bottle and takes it to swimming? She needs her head looking at.

£30 shampoo for a teenager? It does sound like the friend's parents have more money than sense.

Your DD's basket, her friend's basket and a basket that they don’t mind sharing.
An odd arrangement.

Designer shampoo decanted in a supermarket own brand bottle.
How bizarre!

Your DD unwittingly helped herself to designer shampoo decanted in a supermarket own brand bottle from a a basket that they don’t mind sharing when her friend just happened to be away.
Most unfortunate, indeed!!

The story really does seem to have all the hallmarks of teenage elaboration.
Are you sure that your DD didn't just help herself to her friend's shampoo while her friend was away and is now telling elaborate porky pies to excuse her behaviour? It would explain the reaction of both the parents and the coaches.

I have a question - why do you have to share lockers? Why can the swimmers not have their own individual lockers, particularly if they are entering competitions representing the swimming club?

As for the shampoo, I'd do what others have suggested - buy the branded shampoo but give them the amount that your DD used and not a single drop more. You then keep the remaining shampoo and you arrange for a separate locker with immediate effect. You're no longer willing to share with someone who puts items into a 'shared' area of the locker and then claims that some of that item was 'stolen'.

If they wanted to keep it for themselves, they should have kept it on their shelf in the locker!

I would insist on a receipt.

They’re trying to gauge you. I’d absolutely refuse to pay and I’d give them both barrels. I wouldn’t even start splitting hairs about buying shampoo and decanting or any of that nonsense.

Just tell them straight - don’t be ridiculous - You did not decant £30 shampoo into a supermarket bottle because why would you do that? You left the shampoo lying freely available in a locker - a locker that you were getting for free as we were paying for it. DD did not use a whole bottle of the stuff so I have no idea where you’re getting the figure of £30 from anyway even if you weren’t lying about decanting into a cheap bottle. You’re not getting a penny from me and I’m not entertaining this nonsense for a moment longer.

People like this rely on others being intimidated by the crazy. Ride it out but make sure she doesn’t see you as weak or a push over or she’ll come at you again and again. Some people just love the drama and the opportunity to bully others and throw their weight around. She sounds stone cold nuts.

I use an expensive shampoo (ok slightly cheaper at £25 a bottle) and decant it into a travel bottle for swimming. £30 for a bottle is very believable but I still don't think the op should pay for a full bottle

Just tell them I said to "fuck right off!"

Why would you decant a designer brand into an own brand bottle. Why would using the bottle once justify replacement of the whole bottle. I would buy them a sachet of Vosene and tell them not to use it all at once. Cheeky mares.

The club/coach should be supportive of a fair resolution (a reimbursement for the amount used, not a full bottle). Then the other girl and her family need to go if they kept kicking up a stink!

@Doopersuper
Who paid for the locker ?

You would do it if you didn't want other people with access to rhe locker nicking it! Sadly did t work n in this case.
Op why did your dd not have her own shampoo?

Another possibility is that the other girl used ‘too much of a shampoo’ she shouldnt have and has created this whole ‘I’ve decanted it into another bottle’ to cover her back and not be told off by her mum.

What I think happened.

Crazy parents child decided to pinch a bit of CP’s shampoo, decanted it into a supermarket bottle and took it swimming. Then CP’s child panicked, filled up the posh shampoo bottle with supermarket shampoo to hide the fact that she had pinched some, thereby changing the colour, consistency , smell of the posh stuff.

CP noticed, challenged child who panicked, and said they had taken the whole bottle of the posh shampoo and replaced it with cheap stuff. CP then said “but why is there only a small amount of my special shampoo left in the supermarket bottle in your locker”. At which the panicked child , backed into a corner , said “OP’s child must have used it all when I was on holiday, probably shared it with the whole locker room”.

So CP thinks OPs child has used all her posh stuff and wants it replaced, CPs child can’t back out of the original story and darent confess.

Can you write to the shampoo manufacturer and ask for a sample of it and if you get one give the sample to them.

I wouldn’t buy anything.
I would be very clear that the shampoo was in the shared basket and that was down to their daughter putting it there. Your DD therefore naturally believed it was ok to use it and did so. Their daughter made a mistake. And you find it very odd at they would decant an expensive shampoo into a supermarket bottle… you can’t think why anyone would do that. And you will not be paying them £30 for a bottle of what appears to be supermarket shampoo.

If the circumstances were reversed, and the other girl had used something your DD had put in the shared basket by mistake would you be asking for money? Of course you wouldn’t.

Don’t give them a penny, as it does make it look like your DD is in the wrong and she’s not. But make it very clear that you consider this their mistake and that is the end of it. What a drama over a bottle of shampoo!

£30 for a bottle of Shampoo yeah right. You don’t need toxic people like that in your life or your daughters. Scrape them off.

Couple of things.

1. is your daughter telling the whole truth? I remember being that age and wanting to try posh hair stuff etc. If it was there then it can be tempting. Did you daughter say it was in the supermarket bottle or them? Did her friend previously tell her it was a posh brand in the bottle that tempted your daughter to use it? I'd be trying to get to the bottom of the whole story. Your daughter may be 100 percent telling the truth. We all like to think our kids are perfect but thats not always the case.

2. i'd ask for the brand to check they're not pulling a fast one. Ask politely that youre shocked shampoo costs this kuch and just curious of the brand (as are half the internet)

3. i'd pay up. But i'd give them half the price and be polite about it. If the whole truth is being told (its quite possible) it was a shared mistake. Them for not labelling the very expensive shampoo and placing it in the shared basket. Your daughter using it even though she did so in good faith. So sharing the cost seems fair for all. Also alot of people here under estimate how much shampoo some people use! If she has long hair and 3x used for thst week its quite possible a fair bit has gone. And there must have been some noticably gone for her "friend" to raise it. Half the price acknowledges your daughters error and theirs.

IME people who buy expensive shampoo don't also buy supermarket own brand shampoo. They decant into appropriate containers.

The woman is clearly lying and I'm amazed by how many people really believe there was expensive shampoo in the supermarket own brand bottle. People with more money than shampoo don't buy Kerastase or Redken AND Tesco Own Brand.

Utter scammers, OP I hope you tell them to dick off or as a PP suggested, replace with the supermarket shampoo and tell them you decanted it. 😂

On the topic of people doing terrible things with expensive shampoo, I once had a £24 bottle of silver shampoo that my MIL poured down my toilet "to clean it" because she claimed she couldn't work out how to flush it. It was a bog standard toilet flusher. I didn't ask her to pay for it though, maybe I should have lol.

99% of People who pay exorbitant amounts of money for things don't do it for quality, they do it for the name. That shampoo being decanted in full into a cheap brand bottle is the equivalent of a Gucci or Fendi bag being hidden in a Tesco carrier bag.

They're talking shite. Being the petty bitch I am I'd buy the expensive brand, take it to swimming and very publicly tell them you bought a replacement bottle for what your daughter mistakenly used and before the grabby cow takes it, I'd squirt some into a tub and hand THAT to her. Hell, I'd be generous and give another squirt for compensation.

This

There appears to be some missing information me thinks. The story makes no sense and it is difficult to understand anyone going nuts over shampoo being used by a child.

Don't give them anything, who tf give a 12 year "posh" shampoo and if its that valuable that one use by your daughter requires £30 remuneration why would they let her take it to a shared locker.
They sound batshit, and there'd be no more locker sharing.

Exactly, if it doesn’t make sense then it’s not true

charge them for the use of the locker

It makes 0 sense why your daughter would use shampoo she didnt own regardless of wether it was cheap or decanted or in a "share" basket presumably she thought it was better then whatever she herself uses/you buy

But as for replacing it? Nah - shampoo is shampoo regardless of how much it cost just have a private word to your daughter about not sharing random things & tell the other girl (via her mother) to harden up about it!

BTW - go easy on the girl herself she probably is devastated about it (& didnt ever intend for it to shared regardless of where it was put or how you & your daughter considered the set up) if it was expensive it's unlikely her mother will let her fill another bottle hence the demanding a whole new bottle for her to keep for herself & it is disappointing especially if it was a one off ie. She put it in the wrong place mindlessly while pre-occupied about the fact she was about to be off & shouldn't be punished or shamed for having those emotions because your daughter who has gone consistently & has a mother monitoring where things are supposed to be thought it was worth it at the time

Also - a seperate locker for your daughter aswell

You actually think that 99% of people that buy £30 bottles of shampoo are doing it for the name?

@Doopersuper Easy, just tell them not to be so ridiculous. You’re not paying for a whole bottle and if they want to end the locker share, to feel free to rent another locker