Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

Same here. It's like losing a sister but what I've posted on here was just the worst in a long line of nasty shit and being a shit friend and bridesmaid so I guess it's better to losing them than have to put up with this shit

when i was about 6 months postpartum and still had a tummy, friend asked if i was pregnant. in a 'is there something you're not telling me?' type way.

i mean ffs, who does that?!!! Even if i was, wait to bloody well be told, right?!

I shrugged it off and she was embarrassed and apologised but it was a bloody thoughtless thing to say

When I passed my MA she said with a snidely look ‘it’s because you’ve no man or family’ because I lived alone (in a house I proudly bought myself)

I was only 29 and was working full time

many years later the snidey comment became all too much and I just cut her off and never looked back (after a decade of very close friendship)

When I'd just had my third miscarriage, two friends who were struggling to conceive both said to me independently "well, at least you know you can get pregnant, I can't". I still can't believe they were that insensitive. Like I'd ever had said to them "at least you don't know how it feels to be pregnant and then lose it". Are we in some sort of infertility competition I wasn't previously aware of?!

6 years on, lots of treatment but I'm fine! And my mind has caught up lots thank you so much x

The other one - I was in my teens. Really struggling with body image and both Anorexic and Bulimic. I knew it wasn't normal to make myself sick all the time and I was starting to scare myself. I confided in my best friend and she said "If I could make myself sick, trust me, I would". Months later another friend told me my 'best' friend had being going around telling everyone "that's why Step is so thin, because she makes herself sick all the time". What a nasty bitch.

Friend told me I had talked about myself and relationship too much once when we met up and that I was self centred. She said the whole conversation she thought "hellooo, what about me?" The only time I ever talked about serious stuff between me and my DH. Usually I listened to her about her love life and dating, it was the only time I didn't spend the whole time hanging on to her details about her life.

When I had something to say in return, she shushed me and said, "It's OK though, I forgive you and I've got past it."

“Oh. My. God!!! I can’t imagine you as a mother. With all your going out… you won’t know how to look after a baby anyway!” - when I told her I was pregnant. I was nearly 30, in a stable relationship, had a house, job and also social life.

”Well you must be doing something really wrong. My son didn’t cry like this” - my baby was hard work. He grew out of it. I still don’t think I was at fault.

“You need to talk to your GP, especially about issues that make you fat and ugly” - when I mentioned my thyroid problem. I was size 16 then, not skinny but really not all
that “fat and ugly”

I've known my friend for 25 years, and we've always got on well. We're in our 60s. I've been there for her when she's had problems. She often tells me how lucky I am not to have to go to work - I had a stroke 18 months ago, and cannot work now.

In my twenties, I was out clubbing with a 'friend' when she said: "Oh, I like going out with you! When we go out together, I get lots of attention from men, whereas when I go out with my other friends, they get all the attention, because they are prettier than me!" 😒

Mine is nowhere near as bad as most of these but it's stuck with me and made me step back from the friendship.
She has always had a bit of a queen bee mentality but it ramped up after she had her baby. I called her out on some bad behaviour and she told me to 'get in fucking line', the problem was my issue and if I really cared about her I wouldn't have said anything to rock the boat.
No, our other friends might put up with being spoken to like that but I won't.

Our older son has a blood disorder from the time that he was a baby that can easily cause death from catching an illness. When Covid hit you can only imagine how worried we were about him keeping himself safe. Almost two years into the pandemic, he did catch Covid, and though by that time Covid had become less deadly, there was still no guarantee that someone with his condition wouldn’t die like so many others. We were with a friend when we received the news he had come down with it. She looked at me and said, “You know if he dies he will be in a better place.” Are you kidding me? Over the next two days (we were stuck on a cruise with her), she proceeded to tell me about how her sons put their lives on the line every day (firemen), but they chose their careers as adults, not as children. The third day, she said she wished that the government did away with masks and vaccines and just let nature take its course. So, just die if you get ill. Even if there is something available that might keep you from dying. What a clueless bitch.

Mandy at this office I worked at, was a 'supposed friend.' Referring to one of the blokes in the office, Jim.. She said 'he really fancies you. I've asked him to go out with you.' I said 'I am with Steve, and have been for 7 months...' She said Jim would be much better than Steve. Steve is dull and boring... and going nowhere!'

This was a bloke I'd been dating for 7 months. he was only a 'factory worker' and not good enough in her eyes, (like Jim!) She was doing her level best to split us up, and get me to go out with somebody else, because she was so jealous of me and Steve and how loved up we were, and how well he treated me. Took me out for meals, bought me flowers, and bought me lovely gifts... She made nasty spiteful comments like 'what the bloody hell is this daft buggar doing, buying a 20 year old a soft toy for Valentine's Day?' 😆

30 years later me and Steve are still together. Married over a quarter century with kids ... He now works in I.T. after retraining 20 years ago. She's been married and divorced once. Only lasted 2-3 years. Has had a few men, but they never stay with her. Not had a relationship last more than 3 months in 20 years. They never get any further in than that. Never go away with her, never introduce her to their family, never live with her, never put a ring on it.

Can't help but laugh. #sorrynotsorry

I have a child with ADHD who has always been a bit of a handful. He is a good kid but not your average quiet kid and he is very intelligent and loves to debate and engage adults. He can talk back sometimes and most of his behaviour can be trying to get a reaction which we will not engage with.

My fiend knows about our struggles and knows I worry about him alot. DH and I are good parents and he has a lot of boundaries but we are also not helicopter parents and believe that kids need to be given some freedoms to help with confidence. He is 12 and very independent.

she basically said to me that kids with autism and ADHD who have behavioural issues are the fault of the parents and bad parenting. When I said how hard it is to parent these kids she became defensive. I honestly can’t look at her the same anymore and am considering cooling the friendship. Her DH has form for being awful to my son and when their son does something to mine turn it around on my son even thought it was their DS who caused the issue. I have told my DS to stay away from their DS and then they get upset that their DS is left out. I can’t win

Her and her husband definitely helicopter parents and I feel sorry for the son sometimes.

Found myself unexpectedly pregnant to a boyfriend I had only just started seeing. Friend I think was more concerned about losing me as her drinking buddy than helping me through the situation I found myself in. She said that I wasn’t a maternal person and other little digs fairly constantly throughout my pregnancy. It really got to me in a vulnerable situation.

Anyway, alls well that ends well. The boyfriend is now DH and we went on to have another 2 babies. Over 7 years later friend is still single. I still see her occasionally but she is very clearly unhappy about her single status as she is approaching 40 and was always keen for children but unwilling to admit or discuss it:

'Maybe he wants to go out with some pretty'. Ummmmm. He definitely fancied me actually.

She was a toxic nightmare in so many ways, that was the tip of z very big iceberg.

It seems quite small in comparison to the insensitivity/maliciousness of some of these posts, but I'll write it anyway because it hurt! I was meeting a friend for dinner, and I'd put on an outfit that I felt really good in, I'd made a real effort with my makeup and had had compliments from my husband on how I looked, and another friend had previously gushed about this outfit. Now normally I spend most of my time in jeans and a tee, with minimal or no makeup, so I knew I was looking pretty good and felt confident. I haven't, and don't, always feel confident and am really critical of how I look a lot of the time, so it's always nice when I feel good about how I look and carry myself with confidence. My friend took one look at me, and said "oh my goodness you look so tired". Erm, ok. Considering she never says this to me when I am in my casual mode I can only assume it was a way to pop my confidence. She's moving away in a few weeks so I'm looking forward to her going and not having to hear her say how tired I look every time I scrub up nice!

My ex best friend, who was one of the only people I told when I had been raped, more people know now, but this was say a year after it happened, when I told her I had met a guy I really liked, said, well does he know you were raped? And he does he still want to be with you? I mean, who would want you after that? Conversation and friendship ended in that very moment

About 6 months in to my new job and my soul sucking colleague said 'no offence but you do look like you've put on some weight, that dress is becoming much shorter', I didn't know how to react so said 'well stop buying me all these treats then' (she used to buy me something most days, no idea why!). I didn't really speak for a few hours after and someone came to speak to us both at our desks and she loudly proclaimed 'well you'll have to ask Thaisweetchill yourself as she's in a mood with me', I said you practically called me fat, she replied with 'I said no offence!' !!!

She clearly has serious personality problems which everyone else has also discovered.

With friends like that who needs enemies?

Friend told me that I will never have a partner as I don’t have enough to offer, as I’m not physically particularly attractive, and now my health issues mean I can’t have much of a life. And that it’s a shame as I’m a nice person, but that I can’t expect to even attract a man for sex given the above, especially as I’m also a single parent. Friend in question has a lot of partners (usually with overlap) and I haven’t been asked out in 15 years, so they may be right, but it still felt like an unkind thing to say.

I don't actually think what she did was that 'arseholey', certainly not worth lingering on. She was naughty cancelling, but she was honest, and she fessed up. That could have been an opening to have a meaningful conversation but your shutter came down. Maybe you were in a bad place because of your relationship problems but you did cut her out. She's entitled to say she found your conversations distressing.
I don't think mentioning someone's pregnancy is necessarily wrong either, unless of course it was within days of a miscarriage. Pregnancies will continue around you. Again, you said nothing but just shut her out. Even when she told you you were withdrawing you weren't able to discuss things properly.
I bet you're thinking about what you should have said or how you wish you'd given her a piece of your mind. You're probably a different person now (presumably out of an abusive relationship). Don't blame her, or yourself. Just learn from your experience.

Why do you think she was jealous? Maybe she just thought your Steve was a bit 'wet'. He's obviously right for you though, so well done you for seeing that and not being tempted by the gorgeous Jim!

Some awful stories here, people can be so thoughtless & downright mean. I’ve noticed though that quite a few of them have moments of schadenfraude (sp?) like the poster had to clarify what shit thing happened to their ex-friend afterwards and take comfort/pleasure from it. I understand thinking it was karma, but in some cases it sounds almost as nasty as the friends comments. The best revenge is no revenge, just cut the toxic people out of your life.