Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

@CountingMareep Glad somebody got a laugh or two on this tragic thread about human nature.
Yes just a Volvo! ;).
I didn't know that tin cans and shaving cream was originally an English tradition ! Pardon my ignorance.

My DSis isn't all bad but takes herself way too seriously, cannot tolerate not being the centre of attention, nor being laughed at. ;) We had not intended to make her angry at the time. 😫My childhood pleasure, I must admit, was to get her to rage at me !

I’m not going to record the awful things “ friends” have said to me. But my wise old mother told me that if such people tried to upset you the probable cause was jealousy.

I was very fat. She said to me, “I was going to give you chocolate for your birthday, but you’ve eaten too much of that!”

Said in a baby voice like she was speaking to a 3 year old, while wobbling my stomach with her hands.

That was the beginning of the end to be honest and not the first shitty thing or the worst

Not spoken to her for over a decade now.

This was years ago, mid 80s. My 'friend' and I were in a London department store, trying clothes on. I grabbed a silly, sparkly, heavy and very expensive sparkly vest type thing and put it on, more as a joke, I knew it wasn't me. I looked in the mirror and took the pee out of myself. It didn't suit me at all. Then my 'friend' said emphatically 'Oh that really suits you '. I thought nothing of it and put it back on the hanger. On the way out 'friend' said 'The shop assistant was laughing at you in that vest. That was a rotten thing to do'. I said she must be mistaken, shop assistants don't do that etc. But 'friend' insisted she was laughing at me. I must confess it did gnaw at my confidence a bit. About a week later ' friend' said she'd written to the shop and complained about the assistant, on my behalf, because I had been so hurt by the assistant's appalling behaviour - and that she should be sacked. I was astounded and said there was no need to do that. Note this is a very well known big posh store in Oxford Street. Anyway 'friend' got a response from the store, they apologised, but no further action would be taken. My 'friend'was really annoyed, I thought far too annoyed TBH.
Then it dawned on me! The shop assistant had laughed at 'friend' (and not laughed at me) when she said the vest looked good on me. She'd caught her lying and 'friend' didn't like it one bit.
What a nasty vindictive bitch that 'friend' was. She'd said a few sort of unpleasant things to me before, but I let them slide. But this letter writing crap really was the last straw. Saying that I was hurt!! She could have got someone the sack. What a mean cow. Didn't speak to her again after that.

or envy - my Mum said the same thing.

Mine is - with 3 children under ten, in a tied cottage
Employer died suddenly - staff including my DH were worried and fearful.
We had many sleepless nights worrying.
Best friend regularly asking had we heard anything ?

She rang later from home to say let her know when we knew anything as they liked the cottage, would be interested in buying it and who to approach

I had a friend who seemed to spend a lot of her time telling me about activities she goes to with other people. People who I don’t know.
When we met a few months ago, she was explaining at length what she was doing for her birthday, who was going, what they were wearing, it went on and on.
Then she suddenly stopped and just said - oh I didn’t invite you, did I?

MB, this is like an echo - both my sister and I heard this and apparently, so have many other girls of that similar self conscious early/mid teens age (we are now early seventies) which my sister, in gentle counselling 20ish years ago, was advised, reason being jealousy, envy, spite, always !!! when looking in a mirror - think mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all - the devastating news that there is a younger fresher more beautiful reflection in the house.

Neither of us have ever forgotten this remark spat out with undisguised rancour, one of many, sadly.

Don't leave us with half a story - what happened next? 😂

Did she actually say that in comparison you were very lucky? I suppose it's the context which matters as simply saying "At least you got to spend time with her in those final weeks" would be a fairly supportive thing to say

When signing for my first Motability car (brand new Ford Fiesta) my mum was with me as she was helping with the deposit - which I was very grateful for - said "You're a very lucky girl! I've never had a brand new car" 😳 The dealer was stunned! So I said "Well I'd much rather have my health!"

Ps, I was 28 so certainly no 'girl!'

I had a nervous breakdown and was under the home treatment team on really strong medication and suicidal with psychosis. My friend kept phoning me up with her relationship problems staying on the phone for hours and not interested in how I was, she said she was doing it to take my mind off my own troubles. When I told the nurse she looked gobsmacked and said, "can your friend hear herself?"

We were doing Jane Eyre in school and my ‘friend’ said, when I think of Jane I picture you as you are so plain.

Many years ago, my friend who has an autistic child, 'You want to start popping these disabled kids out, you get loads In benefits for them'......This comment was prompted by me moaning about the price of something when we were stood in the middle of asda. Absolutely no indoor voice on her either so everyone around us heard her. Just wanted the ground to swallow me up from the shame of being seen with her.

Needless to say I am not friends with her anymore, but i can update that she followed her own advice and went on to have 2 more children all who she claims disability for Yet I don't know how as the younger 2 are in perfect health 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Pansypotter123
well, I just looked at her and replied- No you didn’t.. and she said nothing.

So when the next time we met up, in a 3, and the other 2 spent most of the time chatting about people I don’t know, I decided it was time to fully reevaluate the friendship.
I’ve seen her once in the last 6 Months. Decided life’s too short to waste time with people like that.

I'm disabled (brain damage and lung damage) and never qualified for PIP, my DS is also disabled (neurological issues) and can't get any help... I don't know how people manage to even get on disability benefits because if its not visual the act like your making it up.

JusthereforXmas I would strongly advise seeking help to apply for PIP or ESA for you and/or your DS.
My adult DS has been awarded PIP and ESA because he has MH issues. His difficulties are not visual.

I met with advisors from CAB who specialise in the application processes for these and other benefits.
The application forms are long, and will be assessed using a point system.
A CAB advisor will know which pieces of information are needed to score on the marking system.
I have helped my mother apply for Attendance Allowance, my DS for ESA and for PIP, the initial application and a later review.

A CAB helped me with each application and we have been successful first tme for all applications.
If an application is unsuccessful first time around then you can appeal- many appeals are successful- A CAB advisor can help with appeals also.

That is crazy how you can have those disabilities yet qualify for nothing!! Just goes to show how messed up the system really is.

The old friends eldest is defiently autistic but her younger two are fine. They do not have any diagnosis, she has diagnosed them herself and lied through her teeth on the claim forms! Her eldest is almost none verbal and has alot of autistic traits so all she has done is copy all those and stick them on her other two children's claim forms. One of the kids has only just turned one and yet somehow she has managed to get disability for him by using the same symptoms as her 16 year old child. The children's dad has Evan reported her for benefit fraud as he obviously knows his kids do not have autism or any kind of disability, they never Evan investigated his report. Honestly baffles and infuriates me that people like her exist. Using her kids just to grab the money in when genuine claimants get turned away time and time again!!!

My DD is autistic and gets nothing either.
It baffles me how some people manage to get DLA, yet others with alot of health problems or conditions get nothing.
One of the school mums got it for her child having excema. He lives a normal life, my DD will never have that.

I can't say I blame you. I've re-evaluated some friendships recently and it makes me feel a lot better. Some people just don't get it, do they!

If this is true I would report your friend in a heartbeat. People like this disgust me. PIP makes a huge difference to people who genuinely need it but people like your friend makes authorities treat every applicant like a fraudster. There should be harsh consequences for people who misrepresent their circumstances in this way.

Not towards me-but once I called a patient in. Her name was something like Gwendoline. She told me she goes by her middle name of Jane as her parents had given her 2 names-one pretty and one plain and would use the one which fit her better. They told her that’s why she was known as Jane.

for what its worth I think Jane is beautiful and timeless, it was one of the few names me and DH both loved... Gwendolyn not so much (Gwen is hash and wasn't Dolyn an insult).

I always think of the spoiled brat in Malory Towers when I think of Gwendoline.

💔

And, conversely, there are always people like this poster who think they know everything about a persons’ life, right down to the minute details of disability, for which they would need to be with the person 24/7. DWP are not stupid, and child DLA, which is the benefit in question, is extremely difficult to claim, as you have to clearly demonstrate that your child needs more care and support than a typical child of the same age. Although you don’t need a formal diagnosis to be awarded the benefit, DWP don’t simply accept what the parent says - there will be a full assessment and possibly enquiries via GP. IME if benefit is awarded it’s usually justified. Cheats who claim fraudulently should face consequences, but then so should people who report maliciously, or in ignorance of the full facts because it can have far reaching consequences for what may be a genuine claimant.