Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

Yes although in her 'defense' I lived in a different country at the time and even though the people there are lovely generally they can be very blunt! However this was 20 odd years ago and I have never forgotten how upsetting that comment was!

I’m howling at some of these stories although some are upsetting.

Has anyone come across this. I have two friends who seem competitive about having children. I have a friend whose DD is 9 months younger than mine who the minute by DD turned 2 pointy told me I no longer had a baby & where her DD turned 2 said her daughter was as still such a baby not like my daughter who is clearly a little girl. Just a couple of examples. I completely get being sad about children growing up but I’m annoyed because I feel she takes it out on me. It’s like she has to reassure herself aloud that her children are more significant or something. Id never say anything because life is too short.

I did however step back from another friend who had kids before me, said to me she was jealous when I mentioned my second pregnancy, which I was ok with, but then started passing negative comments on my child’s appearance which I wasn’t ok with.

Does that sound mad? Has anyone else experienced people being competitive about children?

My Mum died when i was a teenager - fast forward to being in my forties and my very good friend was complaining about having to take her mum shopping and on hospital visits. She actually said think yourself lucky you dont have to do it.

I had similar though not as bad. My dad died just over 10 years ago of cancer at 65. Friends dad died a year ago of Parkinson’s he was 85 ish. Friend never actually said that my dad had it better in quite so many words but she almost did saying things like you wouldn’t want your dad to have suffered. My dad did bloody suffer, I felt like saying how do you think people die of cancer?! I know Parkinson’s is bloody awful but my dad had a much shorter life. Some of the stuff she said was similar to your friend. Insensitive.

I should have said I’m sorry about your mum.

It’s such a stupid comment, but I honestly think (some) people misguidedly think they’re being nice when they say stuff like this

Oh, years ago when I was a student. This girl was always a bit of a piece of work, a bit creepy, very jealous if anyone got male attention, looking back I’m wondering if she had some kind of personality disorder. But it was along the lines of: ‘You look a bit like ** (well known film actress), today’. ‘Thanks’ I replied.

’I just thought I’d give you a compliment, because let’s face it, you probably don’t get many, do you?’. I didn’t really have any clue how to respond to that.

I can't think of one actually, but I can think of something that haunts me that I said. It really wasn't about them, it was an outlet for so much other stuff going on at the time, I think knowing that helps me to be less offended by what others say.

Unbelievable. I hope you got rid of this nasty bitch immediately after this. I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby.

You make a good point. I’m no spring chicken but I do struggle to control myself when I’m struggling with my emotions.

Ive found with age I have friend friends & social friends. I’ve taken a step back from the type of people who say hurtful things or can’t control their own insecurities. People I would have seen everyday when I was younger I now see twice a year. So we keep in touch but aren’t close.

When I was 21, my best friend told that I'd only ever attract men who were scared of sex because I was so small (5'3"; size 8/10). She was so derisory of anyone I dated - questioning their masculinity etc that it affected me for many years.

Against a backdrop of a lifetime of emotional abuse from my mother who'd always told me no one would ever love me and the best I could hope for was, essentially, someone who'd settle for me, this was very damaging.

I'm 48 now and still not really ever got past any of it. Who am I kidding? I'm still affected by it now.

Fucking Hell!

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this.

Worst thing I've ever heard of was said to my sister by her 'friend'.

My sister completely unexpectedly lost her sight several years ago. Shortly afterwards, while she was still in shock, crying every day and very frightened, this bitch came round. My sister was saying how hard it was, how scared she was, how distressing it was that she would never see her daughter's face again...

This utter fucking cow let out a half laugh half tut and said that wasn't it funny that everything in her life was going really well.

It's been 5 years and I still want to punch her in her stupid mouth.

This one wasn’t even a friend to begin with, or even my manager, but a management colleague. She drew her breath in one day and said ‘Are you all right? Your ankles are swollen’. I muttered something about hormones and hot weather. I have always hated my short, stumpy legs with feet that are too small for them.

A few months later some really trivial ‘concerns’ about my work got fed in to my line manager. (Think having a call passed back to me because the caller had asked for the wrong person and I hadn’t been telepathic enough to query them). I had also found out that the original comment would have been worth a grievance under workplace policy, if I’d been bothered. I wasn’t about to hang around such politics and found another job.

I had a friend who tried to humiliate me with her group of friends. I have always been naturally petite (5ft 3 and size 8), and she said in front of her other friends ‘you look like a skeleton’ and said to her friends ‘she even wears kids clothes’. I said ‘I don’t I’m size 8’ and she started pulling the labels up from the back of my clothes in an aggressive way to try and prove me wrong. I also had fertility issues and it looked unlikely I would conceive (I did eventually) and the same friend said ‘when you have kids you’ll understand, oh I forgot you can’t have kids’ then laughed the most horrible laugh. She’s an ex friend now.
I think the absolute worst though was when I was still having fertility issues and another friend asked me to help out with her newborn baby as she had a difficult birth. I turned up as instructed to look after her baby so she could rest and she said ‘if you want to cry when you are here though go to the bathroom because I don’t want to see it’. And off she went to bed and left me to it.

🙀🙀🙀 Whyyyyy people ever think it’s ok to say such things. This thread is shocking. Absolutely shocking.

When I mentioned I was meeting my cousins same sex partner a work colleague said she was confused as she thought it was my brother who was gay.
I told her she was right he is gay but so is my cousin.
Work colleague then asked if I was worried that there was a gay gene’ in my family.

"How does someone like you get a boyfriend when I cant"

!!!!

Possibly because you’ve got more substance than your ‘friend’ and have met someone who appreciates the important things in life.

Not really the same but an online friend led me to her blog and she had wrote a post about me. Something along the lines of 'She's 28 years old. But comes across as a LOT younger. Never had a boyfriend. Earns peanuts in her job.' I was left physically shaking and the words have never left me even after all this time.

Shortly after my Dad died (I was 19 and he died without warning), I burst into tears one day. It had been a particularly traumatic time due to the manner in which he died and the fact that we discovered at the funeral that he'd been living a double life (as in whole other house/partner 20 years junior etc). My friend turned to me a d said, "can you stop talking about your Dad. It's really boring!". She also was awful to me once because she was jealous that her boyfriend might fancy me if we met up. She told me to not bother getting changed out of my riding gear (I'd been mucking out horses all-day and reeked). When I did show up, having quickly showered, so told me that I looked tarty and fat in my outfit. I was a size 8.

They certainly aren’t anymore, and haven’t been for many years. I also remember someone telling my mum that their divorce was worse than her husband dying as they couldn’t stand the fact he was still alive and the adult kids still saw him. People astound me

She’s right up there with the top frenemies on this post.

Ok this is quite mild but hilarous if pathetic.
In the lounge of my wedding reception years ago, DSis Matron of Honor quietly announces to me that had she wanted to, she could have easily destroyed my honeymoon suitcase contents in retribution of my having ruined her wedding 5 years earlier. Having decorated the day after her wedding , ( with my other 2 sisters) her going away car and vanity case with just married sign, trailing tin cans, balloons, shaving cream, rice, and condoms- an American traditional loving and teasing celebration for the newlyweds.

Had she stuck a gun in my ribs I wouldn't have been more surprised. A narcissistic perfectionist, she and her new hubby were furious that they had had to have his Volvo rewashed . No grudge held whatsoever for five years, but determined to spite my actual wedding day. !

@Whataretalkingabout that’s just 🙄- precious about a Volvo??? I could understand if it was a Bentley or a brand new Jag, but a Volvo? 🤣🤣🤣

The tin cans and shaving foam stuff isn’t just America, we had that as well on our slightly ropey Ford Escort. And yes, we had to take it to the car wash the next morning. All part of the fun.

Your D(?)Sis sounds like a humourless bitch.