Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

Similar one here as teenagers at school - implied she was friends with me so she would look prettier. Everyone needs an ugly friend to make themselves look better apparently!

When my DD was 5 we started looking for piano lessons. My DH asked a friend whose DD plays piano. It went like this:

-DH )so when did your daughter start playing piano?
friend: when she was 4. How old is your DD?
DH: she is 5 going to be 6 soon.
Friend: oh no, she is way too young to start playing. Maybe when she is older.

Like WTF? 🧐

I had a dream last night that I decided never to see this friend again and here comes this thread! But I’ve never forgiven her for saying
“nice to see you putting on weight again” after she lost weight and I gained some
she also said quite unsympathetically, after I’d finally left my abusive partner (he beat me up while pregnant) “but don’t you think all children need a dad in their lives “
yes Jennifer of course they fucking do but not all fathers are capable of being good dads

Many years ago my friend knew I lived in a part of town that wasnt the best area (but I liked it). We worked in same office but she was in recruitment team and helped out new starters with finding accommodation. She took great pains to point out to me she had advised them to avoid and ensure they did not move into the area I lived in…

Weirdly years later she was amazingly supportive to me when I got divorced. I dont see her now as she moved away without telling me. Strange really.

Supposed long term friends who don't get in touch after you've had radical cancer surgery because (when challenged for being such shit friends) said they "didn't want to bother you".

Holy cow, what an utter piece of shite they were!

A friend who had inherited a house paid outright saying to me (at 38 years old ) I can’t imagine having a mortgage !

I was out with a group of friends and was very upset as I had just had news that another friend had been diagnosed with a brain tumour. One woman said to me "oh, well when you get to your age you can expect people you know to start dying" !!! The person making the remark was only a few years younger than me and actually the same age as my friend with the brain tumour. Sometimes I reckon people do not think before they open their mouths especially when it is a difficult topic such as illness, they just say something, anything, rather than admitting they really don't know what to say.

I was about to go on holiday when my mum died, so holiday obviously cancelled, funeral planning started etc. Friend told me how much she was looking forward to her holiday as she really needed it.

These stories are awful 💐

I bumped into my school ‘BFF’ when I was 8 mths pregnant and recently single.
‘My god you’re a fat cow’ was the only thing I remember her saying.

Never spoken to her since. It was the worst time of my life.

An exfriend..for other reasons. Phoned one day to say she dreamt I'd lost weight!!!

My ex friend was due to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. She was having MH problems so lots of concessions were made for her throughout the planning stages.
The night after my hen party, she text me to ask if I realised how bad I’d made her feel. She said that the way I’d been laughing and joking with all my other friends made her feel like shit because she was supposed to be my best friend and I looked like I was giving more fun with them. I was hungover to fuck and then got that text. I just lay on the sofa crying.
Then the day after the wedding, she text to say we couldn’t be friends anymore. So guess what? We’re not!

Probably not the most arseholey, but always stuck in my mind. A friend who was pregnant at the same time as me and had her baby a few weeks before told me that she thought I’d have a Caesarean as ‘you seem like a Caesarean type of woman’. Wtf does that even mean?

We gave our son a slightly unusual name - nothing really out there, just not that common. It’s also a shortening of a longer name. She made no secret of the fact she thought it was weird and for about the first year if she ever introduced us to anyone, she’d say his name while making little inverted commas with her hands.

Same woman looked at my two toddler boys a couple of years later and said, nodding towards DS2 ‘well he’s certainly got the looks out of the two of them hasn’t he?’

Went to a baby shower for a lovely friend, pregnant through IVF, first try.
Me pregnant, several miscarriages, couple of months ahead of friend.
Overheard chat between 2 other friends…
Friend A - ”I’d rather have the miscarriages as at least I’d know I could get pregnant”
Friend B - “oh yes, so much easier to go through miscarriages than IVF, never knowing if it’s going to work or not”

I’m so sorry it’s really hard to get closure. Same for me I didn’t get to say goodbye to my mum. Big hug x

Mine was from just a few nights ago.

I've been bi-polar since I was a pre-teen which has been hard enough: I'm now also being treated for no less than 21 separate conditions, which include M.E. - diagnosed 1983 - and Long Covid; I'm in constant severe pain and can walk perhaps 2 double decker buses before I have to stop and recuperate, I need morphine on top of 2 other medicines to suppress an otherwise constant cough and three times recently I've completely forgotten important stuff like my name, my dogs' names and my address (2 hospital admissions, one long and effective in calming me down call to NHS 24) and my long time friend who admittedly is totally certain that if she can do it anyone can, said to me "but don't you think it's just all psychosomatic?".

No, I don't - but I can feel the psychopathic now coming on .... !😡

I confided in my now ex friend that my then boyfriend had broken up with me. I was devastated. She was driving the car on the motorway and physically lifted her hands in the air and cheered. I was gobsmacked. I thought you liked him I said. Oh I do she purred. But I don't want to be the only one on my own. She then laughed merrily in a oh-im-so-adorable manner and abruptly changed the subject back to herself.

If I hadn't been a cross breed of unpaid therapist and comfort animal to her through three years of 'breakups' I might have felt slightly less affronted. I decided instead to add our friendship to the breakup pile.

SIL the day after my daughter was buried a few days before Xmas. SIL was in a flap going on about how far behind she was with her Xmas preparations. (My daughter being ill, dying and getting buried had been a bit inconveniencing for her) I was like a zombie but trying to make some response. I said “ Don’t worry we’ll all, get enough to do” She snapped at me. “ it’s alright for you @Vintageblossomhill you don’t have 5kids to buy for”

Some of these are truly horrific. I am really sorry.

Few pop to mind. Just about to walk down the aisle and I can hear the catering staff whispering how “unusual” and “strange” my dress is. Then the wrong song got played while I walked down the aisle

Had to end a pregnancy after discovering our unborn girl had a fatal condition. A friend said a week later it was heartbreaking than ttc (as they were at the time). I had already been ttc for 2 years and had 4 miscarriages. All forgiven now, she’s a good friend but thought it was a bit insensitive. Another friend said about our first miscarriage my body had clearly not been “ready”. Another good friend, just thoughtless comment.

Another incident that has always stuck with me is a friend at 12y old confiding in me she had lost her twin brother from cancer. Proceeded to show me lots of photos in albums and crying. This went on for weeks and I felt horrible for her. Only for her to one day starting to laugh hysterically and telling me it had all been a lie. The boy in the pictures was a cousin and very much alive. I have never ever forgotten it.

After having a stillbirth at 37 weeks, my 2 best friends came to visit me at home after I came out of hospital. One said, "Olive I know this is hard for you but best you don't talk to us about it because we don't know how to support you, best get professional help".

My other friend was absolutely mortified and came into the kitchen when I was making drinks and told me she had no idea why other friend had said that and I could talk to her anytime. My friend who said this is a nurse and usually very compassionate. I cannot for the life of me work out why she said this.

Couple of examples many years ago, starting uni for the first time as a totally green 18 year old up from the country.

I was in uni halls. When my parents left me off, the girl from the next room came in to talk to me. Now, we are still close friends 42 years on, but, during our conversation she said, "I hate stews who got As and Bs, what did you get?" Me: "2 As and 2 Bs!" We laugh at it now.

I later met the girl in the next room down, in the kitchen. She eyed me up and down and asked if I intended to be a virgin when I got married!! I didn't realise I was branded! 🙄

Third one was the student in the final room in the row. She had major mental health problems, she'd lost her mother and an aunt to suicide and had a pretty sad life. She claimed to have had an affair with her English teacher from school. She scared the shit out of by saying, if she went down she was taking everyone with her.

Once she announced that, when she felt low, she just thought, "it could be worse, I could be Mayor!"!!!!! Never got to the bottom of that one....

This is very minor compared to some of the posts on here!

Said by a friend of a friend (fortunately so I didn't have to see her again or block her). A group of us were talking about our late teenagers and how this generation don't seem to drink as heavily as in the past. I said that DS and his GF and group of friends don't really drink and seem to be much more interested in meeting up for activities, etc. FOF said "well that's probably because they are all on drugs". Everybody looked at her gobsmacked - you just don't say that out loud. I frostily replied that no they don't 'do' drugs either and haven't had anything to do with her since.

I tearfully confided in a friend how upset I was because my relationship with my BF was drifting apart and I felt we were going to end it soon, to which she cheerfully replied "oh well he'll have girls lining up around the block after him..."

Thanks for that. Never saw her again

late teenagers as in 18-19 year olds, not late as in the late *** - they are all very much alive!