What's the weirdest rumour you've heard about yourself?

[Duckafuk]

I'll start, I have just heard that I'm a gold digger who seduced a well off older man ( possibly a widow) so I could live off him 😳
In reality I've been with this poor victim 34 years, have 2 adult kids and yes while we are comfortably off that's because we both worked bloody hard and now that DH is retired I still work PT.
I heard this from the friend of a woman who has set her cap at DH.

I find this both hilarious and batshit and firmly set the record straight.

Anyone else heard a crazy rumour about themselves?

I was in a similar situation. Got close to a girl and we became fast friends. Fast forward a few years and she claims to my friends, who I'd introduced her to, that I was sleeping with her father! Not one person challenged or questioned her, ultimately I lost all of the friends I'd made since I started high school right up to my early 20s.

Took it very hard. Very lonely after that, moved away and didn't know anyone, so I hit the drink hard for nearly 10 years and spiralled into depression. Lost my entire support network, my mates, the closes friends I had, over a despicable lie. Tip: don't make friends with girls with Daddy issues.

That I was having an affair with a married coworker (I was single). The truth of it was that we both loved playing the ponies and could often be seen with heads together pouring over the racing form. He was brilliant at picking winners, much better than me! We worked near a 'world famous' race course and would often run over at lunch to place bets (off track betting was illegal in the US at that time). He was a devoted family man and would no more have cheated on his lovely wife than I would ever have been an OW. Back then, 'men and women simply could not be friends, everyone knows that'.

Years later my now DH got a job transfer and after a few years of working away all week we decided it was time to move the family to his area. 'Per employer procedures' I put in for a hardship transfer and it was duly approved and I was posted to the office in our new area that had an open position for my job. However, once I relocated I found out that a coworker was saying there was 'something fishy' about my transfer. She apparently had been told she 'had the job' but then my hardship bumped her back and as a result she took an immediate hatred of dislike to me, sight unseen. Obviously not my fault and I wouldn't have turned down the transfer even if I'd known. Anyway, apparently when questioned she just did the 'nod nod wink wink finger aside the nose' and would just say "Trust me, fishy".

That I was ‘dangerous’ with no qualification at all. I quite liked this one,
better than some I heard regarding my supposed wild libidinous ways.
This is the cross many single independent ladies bear.
I would not live in a small village ever again for this reason alone.
Happy contented liberal people do not make up vile damaging rumours
nor spread them.

I only just realised this is an old thread and I’m all behind like the cow’s tail.

Rumours - in my top 50 albums of all time

I discovered just the other day that I’d crashed my new car into a barn after having a pacemaker fitted.

I’ve had the same car for 4 years, haven’t managed to crash it yet and have not got a pacemaker! Who dreamt this up?!!

I was also accused of riding my (very large, very speedy) ex-racehorse around my village with my baby strapped in a sling. I definitely would remember doing this!!

As a teacher in the 1990s in my catchment area in my 20s, over the course of a weekend I was seen by different students in different places... in a clothes shop buying a bikini, in a supermarket buying a bottle of JD (present), in corner shop getting cigarettes and a bottle of wine, walking and going in to my local, going into another pub, all with a big group of friends.

Rumour monday Miss was walking around in a bikini swigging JD, smoking, doing a pub crawl and loads of people had to help her stand up and get home, then she had a bottle of wine when she got in!
I kid u not, true story! X

That I was having an affair with at least 3 different people behind my husbands back

Person 1 was his cousin who worked with us in the business - dh did the on the road stuff and cousin was based in the yard. I did the office work so we would sit down to lunch together most days 🤷‍♀️

Person 2 was a sub contractor who was doing some work on the yard - again lunch was had together so must be having an affair.

Person 3 was the best yet - my BIL stayed at ours 4 days a week after he and my sil moved up north. He was working nights while waiting to find a similar position where they had moved to. Person 2 took dh aside and advised him I had a strange man in the house every day who turned up after dh had left and was gone before he returned!