What's the weirdest rumour you've heard about yourself?

[Duckafuk]

I'll start, I have just heard that I'm a gold digger who seduced a well off older man ( possibly a widow) so I could live off him 😳
In reality I've been with this poor victim 34 years, have 2 adult kids and yes while we are comfortably off that's because we both worked bloody hard and now that DH is retired I still work PT.
I heard this from the friend of a woman who has set her cap at DH.

I find this both hilarious and batshit and firmly set the record straight.

Anyone else heard a crazy rumour about themselves?

The rumour at work about me was that I'm having an affair with a colleague. He's gay, in a relationship and I'm a married straight woman.

My preference for working with him was he wasn't a disgusting perv and treated me with respect. So obviously we were having a torrid affair in our ambulance every night.

I just laughed because if you deny the rumours tend to grow.

That I had broken into a local antique shop, attacked the owner and was in prison, whilst simultaneously getting pregnant by a friend's husband.

I had actually been in a mental unit (for none of the above reasons!)

I guess they thought if you were rarely ever in it, you must be behind it! 😁😂How weird are some people?

That I worked in Tesco as a sales assistant. No idea where that came from. I work in IT

That I was a devil worshipper who daily invoked demons. I was at university and had learned to meditate as a way to reduce stress. My college was full of vicars’ daughters who reached this clearly logical conclusion. This was in the 1980s.

Your own husband??

That i am a qualified teacher. All the teachers at the dcs primary school seem to know this about me.

Every year at parents evening I'll go in, they'll do a bit of a chat about dc and then mention something about how they are sure i know x, y, z from my teaching days. Every year i explain that no, I'm not a teacher, i have never been a teacher, I've never worked in a school. They all look very surprised as they are sure that I am a teacher.

Some of these teachers have taught dd, been told by me that i am not a teacher, but then when ds is in their class they are once again surprised by my lack of admitting to being a teacher.

I have no idea if i just give off teacher vibes, or if it was announced in a staff meeting that i am a teacher, or how this rumour started. It's quite an innocent rumour, as far as rumours go.

That I was having an affair with a married man. The married man was my own husband. People are strange.

That I thought I could fly. I was singing the song quietly to myself at school when it first came out. Someone overheard me and told everyone I had said I believed I could fly. Cue months of ridicule and people flapping their arms at me. Odd.

The song was I Believe I Can Fly by the way.

That I had a black belt in karate. I was a teacher and made a throw away comment when a child said he’d bring his Dad in to sort me out.

The rumour lasted years and was totally untrue. Every now and then I’d be asked about it and would say something like ‘we need to get on with work not chatter’

Pupils passed it on to younger siblings and so it carried on.

That I’d abandoned my baby son and it lived with its father.

moved to new home with Dd3, single parent, about six weeks later had my exH and his mistresses baby boy of six months to stay for a weekend (very long story). On the moving out day a year later next door neighbour asked about my baby boy, in the time living there the neighbours pretty much ignored and blanked me.

she was a bit Ohhhhhhh, when I told her baby boy was not my child. Was rather glad I was moving away.

I had this too! Bit as an adult, from my own mother and sister! They reported me to the police for it too! It was all BS ofcourse (I too am white) and they ended up with a bollocking for wasting police time.

That I am loose. One sexual partner who I am married to and we met when I was teenager😂

A number of years ago I bumped into a neighbour in the supermarket. She asked me how my DH was. I replied he was fine. She looked bemused. She told me that she'd heard, whilst in the local hairdressers, that DD's dad had had a heart attack. (DD's name was not a common one and we're in a smallish village and I didn't know anyone with the same name). I told her that when I'd left DH at home half an hour earlier he was in fine health and in charge of our 2 children. I never did find out who, if anyone, had had a heart attack.

As I child I remember taking part in a school sponsored walk. A couple of groups got slightly lost and went the wrong way. When we got back to the school playing field for refreshments, I heard someone say that it was Mr Lottery's fault as he had sent them the wrong way. My DF was away in London that weekend - we were at school in Wales!

@MissingMoominMamma yup, my own husband.
Like I said, batshit crazy.

Apparently the reason why I paid for my mother in law to come on holiday with my family was because I was having an affair with her.

Did you not put her straight?

When Facebook started I found a friend from school I had lost contact with and sent a request

I got a message back saying "oh my god I was told you'd died!"

I assured her that no, I was very much alive but had moved away from our hometown. I asked who told her this.

My mother.

In fact, when I went to my school reunion, so many people there were shocked as they had either been told directly by her or heard from others that I was sadly deceased.

And it wasn't just "oh she passed away". She had concocted an entire story on it. That I had left home early (true) and was not speaking to them (true). That police had told her I was classed as vulnerable as I was hanging round a hippie commune (in 1997. Uhm). Next she was told I was "on crack and heroin" (nope) and had passed away in Manchester (I've never been to Manchester).

The woman is a loon though. I wrote her a letter telling her I knew of her lies and now most of our town who knew of us did too so she may wish to come up with sometimes convincing about why she was mistaken. Strangely enough she didn't reply.

Even 3 years ago someone said they'd heard from my mum I died.

Not me exactly, but our house. It's a big old house on a hill, no one around for miles and it was empty for a while before we bought it.

A woman in the village said my husband was an older man who'd seduced me, married me and kept me locked in the house with no kids, friends or job. Apparently I spent my days wandering around the gardens and you can hear me crying at night. The house is also haunted and built on an old cemetery apparently.

The rumour was so weird, so detailed and so untrue. We have 4 kids! And I'm rarely at home! I've half a mind to speak to the old hag, she seems to tell everyone this lie whether they know us or not.

That my (longed-for) pregnancy was a turkey baster job with my boss and close friend, despite us both being in relationships and theirs spanning decades! Vicious bitches and jealousy at play...

That I was working under cover for HMRC.
(I was not)

Here’s a story about the DM of a school friend of DB’s when they were children. She had short blonde spiky-ish hair and always drove nice cars, think Jaguars etc. no father seemed to be around for her son. My DM (and maybe a few other mums) assumed she was a prostitute, escort or something. I was told to avoid her but was always polite when I saw her. Her actual profession, she ran a wool shop nearby.

That im a trans woman but not had any surgery yet. Which I did. 5 years ago.

That I was buying the top floor of my mums care home to rent out to Royals who needed ‘Privacy’.
My mum had dementia and also said I’d stolen her money and jewels so I could live a ‘Gilded Life’.