What's the weirdest rumour you've heard about yourself?

[Duckafuk]

I'll start, I have just heard that I'm a gold digger who seduced a well off older man ( possibly a widow) so I could live off him 😳
In reality I've been with this poor victim 34 years, have 2 adult kids and yes while we are comfortably off that's because we both worked bloody hard and now that DH is retired I still work PT.
I heard this from the friend of a woman who has set her cap at DH.

I find this both hilarious and batshit and firmly set the record straight.

Anyone else heard a crazy rumour about themselves?

That I'm not qualified to do my job and lied to get it. Not only that but I am only in my place of work because no one else would work with me 😂😂. My qualification is freely available to search for online!

The pair spreading this 'information' added that everyone in the village I live in hated me and wanted me out. I spent ages waiting for them all to turn up with torches and pitch forks and it never happened 😔.

That I was having an affair with a married man who had 5 children. Apparently it was all over work.

Truth was, my boss who he’s was a married man with 5 lovely kids. Came off his motorbike, broke both his ankles and couldn’t get to work as his wife didn’t drive. So as I passed his house in the mornings, I swung by and picked him up. He was in a wheelchair! I still don’t get how someone managed to start that one, when it was so obvious he couldn’t even get to the loo, let alone shag me! LOL!

When my son was small and having toilet problems, including being scared of the flush which everyone knew about.. That the unflushed poo found a few times was of course mine. My mil told her entire family that I was so lazy and dirty that I felt I didn't need to flush as she would do it for me. Even worse, they believed her! Funnily enough "I" stopped this behaviour when my son's occupational therapy got going.

Wait, what? This woman’s friend confronted you?!! How so? Just approached you to have a go at you for being a ‘gold digger’ because her mate has a thing for your husband? 😮

Craziest rumour about me has been claims I am a witch who places magic spells on men to make them fall in love with me. Two separate women have accused me of this - and they were not even dating said men at the time or anything. Just had a problem with me dating these guys or them being interested in me. I think it’s because i’m quite plain but for some reason have dated a few pretty hot guys - so of course the only way that happened was via devilry 😂

When I was 15 I broke my nose. An adult at the sports club I attended spread it around that I had had cosmetic surgery. Very odd thing to say about a child.

That I wrote the film "Hot Fuzz"

That I was having an affair with one of my dads friends. Im sure I was only 17 at the time and although I probably had met him before. I wasnt actually sure which friend he was

That I had upped and left my husband 'because he was useless as he was never home ' .Apparently I had done a runner in the middle of the night.What had actually happened was that my four year old son became very ill, was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with a neuroblastoma .I stayed with him in the hospital hence my absence .My husband of course continued to come and go from the house so they putt two and two together and got five.

Things were tight when my children were little so I had to pay for preschool in instalments. The preschool owner seemed most affronted that I was buying a million pound house - I wished I was the one buying it!

That I am a crazy ex. Revealed by my successor, who in turn split up with him and became another crazy ex, when we finally met up to compare notes.

Although I have to say that his abuse and "crazy making" behaviour did cause both of us to behave in uncharacteristically hysterical and unstable ways while we were trying to escape from his spell....

Apparently I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy, i aborted the baby because the baby wasn't my husband's. I also lied it was an ectopic to get time of work . The sheer viciousness just took my breath away . I have the scar to prove it

I was a secondary teacher and went bowling with a friend. Friend went to the loo. A colleague came up and said hello. We spoke for about 3 minutes. A student who was also there looked across at us. Next week at school I heard I was having an affair with said colleague who was married to 2 small children. Even though it was absolute rubbish I felt really embarrassed when I saw his wife and wondered if she'd heard the rumours.

I was told that I had banned my husbands aunt and family from our wedding because she couldn't offer the sports car her son in law has. They had offered it in the first place, then retracted....I was not bloody bothered and ordered a wedding car. They said they couldn't go to the wedding and then were most affronted when they changed their mind, but I'd already offered the spaces to someone else!

I've also had my aunt tell everyone I have Boarderline Personality Disorder and was having a breakdown after my dad died.

Nope, just grief and not putting up with your bullshit anymore!

@Newnamehiwhodis

LOL. I once got into a semi argument with a coworker who didn't believe my natural hair colour was what was growing out of my head. Everyone else on the team thought it was really funny too.......Trust me, I know my own hair colour!

That me and my colleague/friend 'fixed' the work secret santa so we would get each other every year.....she had me once and I never got her! Never did find out how that one got started but soooo petty

Wow congratulations on losing all that weight.

@ButterflyOil Just came up to me whilst I was enjoying lunch with 2 friends " Its disgusting what you are doing with ( husbands name)" I thought it was a joke at first .
I live in a fairly small ( less than 7,000) expat community.

One rumour was that, I was discussing how a (male) friends daughter had been conceived. It was widely known this was a ONS, I wasn't present, at the party or the room, or at any point of the conception! None the less, I was reporting great detail about what had happened.

When this particular conversation had allegedly taken place, I was actually in the middle of a pretty horrendous miscarriage. When I pointed this out, apparently that didn't stop me talking and it was all I could talk about.

I had to break it to them, that I hey are not Kim Kardashian and whoever is doing what with someone else has nothing to do with me and I don't find anyone's sex life that interesting!

I have also been told that I am sleeping with my boss, because, ya'know I'm good at my job and climbed the ranks, but I must be shagging him!

According to one of my managers, I am lying about my age for “attention”. (I’m not. I’m just significantly older than she had realised.) Also, because she studied at the same place that I did, but a couple of years ahead of me and with a different major, she didn’t believe that I studied there as well. I heard all of this from my best friend who is HER boss. My friend thought this was hilarious and said, “Actually X, I have known her for more than 30 years and can assure you that she is not lying about either of those things. In fact, we met when we were studying together. You’re going to have to try harder than that.”

Nothing too dramatic apart from people thought I was dating someone who was twelve years older than me. Although back in the eighties, a seventeen year old dating a thirty year old wouldn’t have seem so shocking as it would today.

A lad I'd been seeing told all our mutual friends I gave him chlamydia. Even though I knew we'd only kissed I still went and got tested and it definitely wasn't me!

DP & I work in the licence trade. When we left a previous bar we were told- not asked told, that we were taking over 7 different new premises. Only 1 of which I would actually consider.

Did you marry an older widower, OP? I'm not sure it's a rumour if it actually happened! The gold digging part is bitching or speculation but I don't think this is the definition of a rumour.

"Well of course she's lovely - she's one of those pretty, rich girls who's just sailed easily through life, she's never had a reason not to be lovely."

I'm the only child of an alcoholic single mother, was raised in poverty on a council estate, and I've been battling the resulting trauma and mental health issues all my life.

I've no idea how someone managed to get such a wrong impression of me!