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Parenting trends that can get in the bin

241 replies

PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 14:43

Permissive/passive parenting labelled as gentle - no, little Jimmy not wanting to play with your DC is not a natural consequence for squirting him repeatedly and directly in the face from 2ft away with a super soaker, despite being asked to 'stop please darling, he doesn't like it, oh look, he's crying'....a natural consequence would be removing the super soaker

Never saying 'no' as a principle- fair enough (not really), but if you're DC is being violent, I sure as hell will tell them no

Neutrals neutrals neutrals and no plastic tat - let them have some stuff they like! Buy it second hand of you want to be eco but let them have the odd bit of tat/character pyjamas that make them happy, why not 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
5Pioneers · 20/06/2023 14:45

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DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 14:49

I'm not really into gentle parenting, but I still think it's preferable to the authoritarian, parent-centred, pro-violence attitude that prevailed in the 80s and 90s.

PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 14:51

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A weekend spent suffering this may have sparked the thread 🙈

OP posts:
Awumminnscotland · 20/06/2023 14:51

Giving very young children tablets/ I pads to " keep them entertained" and if you don't agree with it it's seen as not moving with the times

5Pioneers · 20/06/2023 14:56

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PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 14:59

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 14:49

I'm not really into gentle parenting, but I still think it's preferable to the authoritarian, parent-centred, pro-violence attitude that prevailed in the 80s and 90s.

I do agree, but I don't think you have to do either of these, there are many other effective and less damaging ways to parent.

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Lidlpopdrinker · 20/06/2023 14:59

Long monologues to toddlers about their feelings. Toddlers don’t understand long monologues, they are toddlers.

PuttingDownRoots · 20/06/2023 15:01

Tracking children/sending them out with phones at Primary age.
All you know is where the phone is, not the child. And when they are busy staring at their screen, they are oblivious to cars, people, other hazards etc.

(Ps... not medical tracking. The blood sugar tracking for diabetic children for example is a fantastic use of technology)

pristinequeen · 20/06/2023 15:09

iPads everywhere, dinner table, whilst being pushed around in the pushchair, in bed before going to sleep. I have 2 young DC and understand completely how hard it is to keep a child entertained but I just don't see how sitting at the table with a screen in their face is at all beneficial to them, or anyone who has to hear it. Tablets didn't exist 10 years ago and somehow everyone managed. Also I know of someone who complains their DC don't fall asleep till 10 but they put them in bed with an iPad! It's not going to wind them down to sleep

TripleDaisySummer · 20/06/2023 15:11

Treating inappropriate places like playgrounds/toddler group.

I'm thinking of the Tesco metro at end of road always busy - two parents one toddler being allowed to run round shop getting underfoot and pull stuff of the selves and expectation everyone would smile - which many staff did through clearly gritted teeth.

Or running round coffee shops - I hated that one partly because when kids were young we needed to use them and having people prejudging you and making comments is unhelpful -or assuming your kids stuff is communal and you are just mean for not allowing their kids to have it.

PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 15:13

Lidlpopdrinker · 20/06/2023 14:59

Long monologues to toddlers about their feelings. Toddlers don’t understand long monologues, they are toddlers.

100% agree with this one. It's another facet of 'gentle parenting' gone wrong. GP can (in some circumstances) be effective if age appropriate...long monologues to toddlers are not at all. Seen so many of these and the toddler is clearly looking at the parent like 'WTF???'. Some of the principles of GP are really positive, I just think too many people have watched a 30 second Facebook reel and not actually thought through how to be effective/age appropriate with it.

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DownWithBreadsticks · 20/06/2023 15:32

Going to a cafe for 1 single latte. Taking your own packets of Ella’s Kitchen this and Peppa Pig that to said cafe. Then watch your darling children hurl BBQ gruffalo claws across cafe. Then wiping the child down with 400 “biodegradable” wet wipes, but not wiping down the high chair, table etc. Then leaving the wet wipes in a mountain on the table. Then picking up the Ella’s Pig Gruffalo Sticks at all. Then leaving.

If questioned: “there are people paid to do that”.

DownWithBreadsticks · 20/06/2023 15:33

I’m sorry, my post should say “NOT picking up…”

RedToothBrush · 20/06/2023 15:37

PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 14:51

A weekend spent suffering this may have sparked the thread 🙈

Did you go to the party I did at the weekend? The one where I ran around stopping the kids exiting the venue and hurting each other whilst the actual parents stood in the doorway gassing and watching me.

Quietasamouuse · 20/06/2023 15:49

That you incur the wrath of hell from another DP if you dare tell their DC not to poke, kick, spit, slap, push or otherwise injure your child.

Apparently these DP are deaf to the cries of the children being assaulted by their DC, but have hearing like a bat if you dare tell their DC off.

EyelessArseFace · 20/06/2023 15:49

I wish someone would start a 'Do as you are told' trend.

PiratesEatTrolls · 20/06/2023 15:52

Quietasamouuse · 20/06/2023 15:49

That you incur the wrath of hell from another DP if you dare tell their DC not to poke, kick, spit, slap, push or otherwise injure your child.

Apparently these DP are deaf to the cries of the children being assaulted by their DC, but have hearing like a bat if you dare tell their DC off.

😂🤣🤣

So bloody true. Or, if they did intervene it's 'What did XX do to annoy you? Can you vocalise your frustration?' No, he's 2 and a fucking half!

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Sprogonthetyne · 20/06/2023 16:12

Making threats you have no intention of carrying out eg. "Stop doing X or we'll go straight home". There's some situations that warrent going straight home, but when it's minor misbehavior, 10 minutes after we've met up at a paid for attraction, an hour away, it's obvious to all that you are not going to follow through on it.

It especially annoys me, as I'll occasionally make that threat, and when I say it I mean it. But because my kids have seen there friends ignore it with no follow through, they don't take it seriously and I end up having to follow through far more often.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 17:08

RedToothBrush · 20/06/2023 15:37

Did you go to the party I did at the weekend? The one where I ran around stopping the kids exiting the venue and hurting each other whilst the actual parents stood in the doorway gassing and watching me.

That's not gentle parenting, that's no parenting!

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 20/06/2023 17:12

iPads at restaurants/cafes. Take a colouring book.

iPads on public transport (planes, trains etc) I understand, as they are a good tool to entertain long journeys. Having the volume up, however, is the dickiest of all dick moves

MagpiePi · 20/06/2023 17:14

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 14:49

I'm not really into gentle parenting, but I still think it's preferable to the authoritarian, parent-centred, pro-violence attitude that prevailed in the 80s and 90s.

Ah yes, I remember giving my kids regular beatings and locking them in the cellar so I could go down the pub for the night.
🙄

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 17:17

MagpiePi · 20/06/2023 17:14

Ah yes, I remember giving my kids regular beatings and locking them in the cellar so I could go down the pub for the night.
🙄

I know parents of that era don't like hearing it, but I'm afraid it's the truth. The prevailing attitudes at the time were absolutely shite. I hear the 70s were even worse.

kelsaycobbles · 20/06/2023 17:21

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/06/2023 14:49

I'm not really into gentle parenting, but I still think it's preferable to the authoritarian, parent-centred, pro-violence attitude that prevailed in the 80s and 90s.

In the uk?

Being told no and having your toys removed and being expected to behave as a human and contribute to the family was what I recall of the norm for the 70s and 80s

Sone people did still smack but it wasn't the norm by then

kelsaycobbles · 20/06/2023 17:21

Ah I think people who weren't there are pronouncing ? Bless their hearts

FuckStonewall · 20/06/2023 17:24

When it's not BUMS ON SEATS!

Why the fuck are kids allowed to run around coffee shops/pubs/restaurants? Bums need to be on seats at the table, or you get taken out.

I nearly saw a toddler take down a waiter carrying a tray of burger and chips on Sunday. Actually running around a restaurant like it's a soft play.

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