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Original poster

What has the handyman done with my nightdress?!

282 replies

Leolly · 13/06/2023 19:44

I can't find my nightie anywhere! Had a handyman round this morning just to address a couple of patches of damp, one of them being in my bedroom, on the wall close to the en suite.

I hang my nightie and dressing gown on the back of the en suite door every morning, and on the other side of the door I have an old evening dress that belonged to my dm.

I was rushing out this morning and didn't think about moving the clothes off the door. Came back earlier to find he's moved my dressing gown and my dm's dress over to the hooks on the bedroom door. But there's no sign of my nightie.

Im not suggesting for a minute anything dodgy has gone on but - where is it?! Did I, without thinking, put it somewhere? If so, I still can't find it!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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swimlyn · 28/06/2023 16:40

@A303 I appreciate your creative writing!

I used to spend a lot of time on you before I retired. Going up and down, up and down…

JaneJeffer · 28/06/2023 16:54
Wacky Races Lol GIF by Boomerang Official

.

A303 · 28/06/2023 20:56

@swimlyn

Which was your favourite bit of the journey?

I love the view most of all. As you are heading down, those lovely sweeping curves, one can admire the beauty of our rural landscape, even if the journey is a bit hairy and often hot. Not that I mind a hairy journey. And the hotter the better in my humble opinion.

With some Zeal, I adored going down for an evening with the intention of reaching a place called Chicklade. That was always the most satisfactory destination, but should never be hurried.

I understand they are going to put a tunnel under Stonehenge to alleviate the pressure. There is nothing worse than driving and feeling all pent up, wanting to surge forward, the engine inside fired up. I love that freedom to just look ones fellow passenger in the eye and freely go at whatever pace suits us at the time. Often, we would slow it down, then build it up, making that journey last a long time.

Mind you, if the tunnel is ever built I may tarry I while. I think it is important to spend some time in a tunnel. Remarkable things they are, and they have given me so much pleasure over the years. I like to take the journey through the tunnel slowly especially when entering.

A few years ago, I turned off the A303 onto the A34 and found myself in a place called Ringwood. It was a complete mistake, but my passenger encouraged me to continue on that journey. Apparently, it was a place she loved. I never quite got the enthusiasm later in life, but I can see how some people like different places and at the time it was novel.

@JaneJeffer I don't understand? What a dastardly dog. Phnaarr, Phnaarr!

A303 · 28/06/2023 21:35

Update: I have had an amazing 40 minutes just now, we both arrived at the same time and now I have got to Exeter.

Fernticket · 29/06/2023 15:37

A303 · 28/06/2023 21:35

Update: I have had an amazing 40 minutes just now, we both arrived at the same time and now I have got to Exeter.

🤣🤣🤣😊😊😊😊

Catsanfan · 29/06/2023 17:36

@Leolly did you ever find out where it is?

Nutterjacks · 15/07/2023 14:36

A303 · 26/06/2023 20:13

This is what I think happened.

Firstly, I think the OP is called Polly. The handyman arrived and on tracing the dampness back to a crack, he determined it needed to be filled with some urgency.

The handyman is a skilled craftsman. He likes to leave all his customers deeply satisfied. He had a large bulge in his shorts pocket, which just happened to be a packet of "Polyfilla", just in case it was ever needed.

He got his packet out, carefully guiding it around the heavy nuts he also had inside there, and after a bit of work he was able to whip his paste up. It was very hot on 13 June and the handyman was in danger of dripping, so he stripped down as far as he could to work more efficiently and focus on the job. Once his paste was ready he released it deeply and thickly into OP's damp crack. Polly's needs were immediately fulfilled. On finishing, he noticed a slight trickling out of his paste on one side of the crack and, being a perfectionist, he wanted to leave OP completely happy with his job.

Looking around all he could see was a black cotton garment lying on the floor so he picked it up, carefully and lovingly wiping OP's crack to leave a nice relaxed finish before getting ready to leave. On packing his equipment he noticed his black briefs were missing. It was only then he realised, that after stripping, he had used them to wipe OP's crack. Fearing he had no clean underwear to go home with, he panicked and grabbed OP's nightie which was a bit tight around the shoulders, but would otherwise feel quite 'natural'.

Next week: Polly notices one of her dining room chair's legs are broken, so her carpenter comes to visit her. Within five minutes he has her legs spread over the table and is pushing his wood into a perfectly snug mortis and tenon joint. In the past, Polly has been happy with several short screws, but the carpenter is having none of this as he teases his thick dowel into her hole while holding the end of her legs in his large, powerful hands.

Love it! 😂🤣😂🤣

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