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Original poster

Reasons why you got the ick

306 replies

NoEffingWay · 12/06/2023 21:44

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted Grin

I have had a few over the years:

  1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
  2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
  3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close GrinBlush)

OP posts:
Namechangeforthispostpurpose · 13/06/2023 23:36

A hot Greek that used to say
“POW”
when he was thrusting on the job …. Yuk …
ditched

a non Greek non hot that stated he was a ‘ naughty boy’ and wanted to ‘ do it again’ …. Aged 26 …. straight after the deed
Shit in bed too

Carretera · 13/06/2023 23:37

@ForTheSakeOfThePenguin
"acting like a hyperactive poodle on the first date"
yes, that sounds familiar, I think it's nerves with some men, eh? Grin

Not on a date, but has anyone had a conversation with a man with very bad plaque on his teeth? This man stood too close to me, and when I moved away he moved nearer!

foulksmills · 13/06/2023 23:37

Shit in bed too

He did what?! 😉

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General education
Namechangeforthispostpurpose · 13/06/2023 23:44

Ha ha

catlovingdoctor · 13/06/2023 23:47

IHeartGeneHunt · 13/06/2023 17:55

In bed, he would put on a French accent like the French woman in Pulp Fiction and ask me for "Oral pleasure."
He would also follow me everywhere around the house. If I said I was going to the toilet he would follow me and talk through the door. If I fetched something from the other side of the room he would follow me. Literally close enough to feel his body heat. Everywhere. I had to dump him before I beat him to death.

Oh my goodness, you deserve a medal for tolerating that

Darcy86 · 14/06/2023 00:02

One guy once stopped mid kissing me, held my face and said all breathily "I don't know why but...my heart is RACING right now" and gave like a wistful look. It was just gross, like he thought he was in a slushy movie, I couldn't get past it and didn't see him again after that!

Wygelia · 14/06/2023 00:03

SmoothSeasDoNotMakeGoodSailors · 13/06/2023 23:08

He picked me up in his car, when we went to leave said "Let's ROCK" and bobbed his head as if mildly headbanging. We went for a drink and when we moved on said "Let's ROCK" and bobbed his head as if mildly headbanging. He was also short and broad and looked like a square.

"Looked like a square" 🤣🤣🤣

This thread has led me to make the absolute decision, should I ever divorce, I will be staying very single. Never been so full of ick in my life 😂

Lissadell · 14/06/2023 00:08

The way he put cream cheese on a bagel, peering closely at it, smoothing it on like some kind of delicate surgery, trimming extra off with his knife, making sure it was all perfectly even, and then letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction when it was finally to his liking, as if Michelangelo had just finished the Sistine Chapel.

hoven · 14/06/2023 00:14

Farting while finishing in bed

scoobydoo1971 · 14/06/2023 00:22

My last ick told me he had been thinking of abandoning his (then) 5 year old daughter by moving to Spain, as he had split with the mother and thought 'the kid' didn't need him anymore. The mother 'inconveniently' died suddenly of an infection while he was planning the great escape, and he had to take care of her. He said he married his second wife quickly to get a ready-made nanny for his kid as he wasn't cut out for parenthood. If there ever was a case of red flags popping up in my head, it was that!

Deathbyfluffy · 14/06/2023 00:30

blackheartsgirl · 13/06/2023 23:34

Where do I start with dd2 and 3 dad

over the years lost most of his teeth due to poor dental hygiene, the ones he had left he never brushed and I shit you not they were mouldy , hence awful awful breath, turned my stomach.
smoked 20 a day and that was bad enough but he had phlegm on his chest which he sneezed and spat out (sorry)
Was a shit dad

he was quite good looking at first but over the years the ick crept in

I’ve seen him with his new gf and he’s worse!
food stain all over his top and smells 🤮

Begs the question… why have kids with him?!

rebelrebbel · 14/06/2023 00:31

Some of these are the same guys, some different..

~ house stank of fish. He used to weight train and would always cook fish before inviting me over. The smell was buried in the soft furnishings 🤢

  • refused to acknowledge waiting staff whilst eating out. Way too pompous for his own good.

~ bought me really ugly, cheap handbag for Christmas. Zero taste, mega turn off.

~ wanted to watch porn while we had sex. Every time.

~ first date informing me my music taste wasn't as varied or eclectic as his. He was clearly too cool.

~ never once tried to give me an orgasm (but would sometimes ask me if I'd had one, after 2 pumps and squirt...) - this has happened with more than 1 partner!

SapphosRock · 14/06/2023 00:36

scoobydoo1971 · 14/06/2023 00:22

My last ick told me he had been thinking of abandoning his (then) 5 year old daughter by moving to Spain, as he had split with the mother and thought 'the kid' didn't need him anymore. The mother 'inconveniently' died suddenly of an infection while he was planning the great escape, and he had to take care of her. He said he married his second wife quickly to get a ready-made nanny for his kid as he wasn't cut out for parenthood. If there ever was a case of red flags popping up in my head, it was that!

That poor child. I don't think ick is the right word here.

ThePersistenceOfMammories · 14/06/2023 00:47

Called the kettle a ‘kittle’

called sanitary protection ‘jam rags’

called my shoes ‘Hugg boots’

carried a folded up bag for life in his back pocket

blackheartsgirl · 14/06/2023 01:18

Deathbyfluffy · 14/06/2023 00:30

Begs the question… why have kids with him?!

Show quote history

because for the first few years he was alright. Clean, handsome, smelt lovely, then we had kids and then he didn’t give a shot about himself or anyone.

i was in a domestic abuse situation too and it took many more years to get out

bluelagoon12 · 14/06/2023 05:31

Lissadell · 14/06/2023 00:08

The way he put cream cheese on a bagel, peering closely at it, smoothing it on like some kind of delicate surgery, trimming extra off with his knife, making sure it was all perfectly even, and then letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction when it was finally to his liking, as if Michelangelo had just finished the Sistine Chapel.

😂😂😂😂

VWRabbit · 14/06/2023 07:36

Said "merci" to people rather than "thanks" despite knowing about four other French words DESPITE HAVING WORKED IN FRANCE.

Too rude to deal with waitstaff but happy to openly stare at every woman's arse under the age of about 28.

Had a thing where he thought his friends' wives/GFs (or even my female friends) all secretly fancied him or had a "special" bond with him (spoiler; they didn't)

Built 80% of his personality around emulating Derek Trotter.

Sloughed his feet along the ground when walking like a giant lazy boring toddler.

Tightness: twine for a belt, finding a way to drop into conversation the cost of literally anything as if I should bow and scrape that he paid for chips.

The Gormless Constantly Open Mouth.

Using me as Google (saying "Google it" became my daily mantra).

Building a large part of his personality around his mother's interests (eg dancing, yet having no sense of rhythm or ability to follow a beat).

And finally!! Claiming to have a lot of friends. But none ever visited him. Or made plans with him. Or phoned him. All based on his one-sided boring contact..aka the turd that just won't flush.

GreyCarpet · 14/06/2023 07:53

Sent me a slow motion wank video. We'd been together about 5 months.

Not something any woman should ever be forced to watch in slow motion...

I mean, I know I wasn't 'forced' but he was fairly close to completion when he started filming and it took me a while to process what I was watching and realise I could stop it 🤣

Put me right off cocks for a while 🤮

bussteward · 14/06/2023 07:59

Slow motion cock has ended me. Tempting to edit it into fast-forward, add the Benny Hill music, and send it back.

Tidsleytiddy · 14/06/2023 08:28

ThePersistenceOfMammories · 14/06/2023 00:47

Called the kettle a ‘kittle’

called sanitary protection ‘jam rags’

called my shoes ‘Hugg boots’

carried a folded up bag for life in his back pocket

Ha ha ha ha the bag for life! 😂😂😂

garlictwist · 14/06/2023 09:19

He had an over enthusiastic interest in Hollyoaks.

Sunnydaysareuponus · 14/06/2023 09:36

Actually retched at a few of these....
When I met now dh I whipped some potential icks into shape pretty quick.
Including brown leather sandals... He was 31..
Refused to let him keep them when we were moving on together..
Also a gross orange puffa jacket!
No grim hygiene habits or he would have gone to the recycling with his coat and sandals!

SmoothSeasDoNotMakeGoodSailors · 14/06/2023 10:11

bussteward · 14/06/2023 07:59

Slow motion cock has ended me. Tempting to edit it into fast-forward, add the Benny Hill music, and send it back.

😂

WideFootWelly · 14/06/2023 10:22
  1. Asked what he'd do if he won the lottery, said he'd roller blade in regents Park all day every day. Forever..
  1. Opened by cupboards to look for food (fine) and was in shock that I didn't even have any Tinned potatoes - he was annoying on so many levels so I'm not sure why this minor thing did it for me

I have so many dating stories, which make me both laugh and cringe. If I was single I think I'd never date again.

Thelnebriati · 14/06/2023 10:25

I said something and he turned it into a rhyme and said it back to me in a baby voice.