Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

Well yes of course, and I think that’s what a lot of us are talking about with the ick! We might really fancy the guy but then we see him chase a bag around Tesco car park and suddenly we know we will never be able to have sex with him 😂

Decades ago, when I was late teens, I was seeing this lad. After a few months I realised it wasn't working for me. We were in the pub having a drink when I found the courage to tell him it was over. He went up to the juke box and selected "If you should leave me now" by KC and the Sunshine Band. Cringe! That sealed it for me.

Oh God this! I had one of these. I told him to stop tickling me, I hate being tickled. He carried on.

I was 21, he was early 30s. Owned a stud farm along with his father. I think they shared the same Y-Front drawer. Vaguely knew he’d dated the hunt master’s daughter. Didn’t know that she was only 14.🤮 He had a 10 year old daughter.
(I’m vehemently anti-hunting and not that keen on anything equestrian.)

Another one - seriously hairy back and arse. Was like having a man and a pet all in one. I waxed it for him once and it came out in a sea of pimples. He was also really rude to female shop and waiting staff.

A few non-drivers (I’ve counselled my DD never to date a man who doesn’t drive). Basic life skill.

The racist South African rapist. He ran up a huge dial-up bill on my landline downloading porn. Didn’t like my gorgeous Thierry Henri lookalike neighbour because - see above.

The personal trainer with those high sided shorts and the tiniest willie I’d ever seen………….until I slept with the boss. Both had more than enough confidence to go around though.

Some of these stories are horrific - especially the ones relating to dubious personal hygiene.

Haha. Have you ever read any of Mariyan Keyes books, there's a group of sisters and they have a list of icks that mean you have to leave said man immediately. Top of there list... Feathery stroking.

Slightly long fingernails

Talking of feathery stroking, I once went out for drinks with a friend; her boyfriend joined us later on. He sat next to her stroking her arm in the most pathetic way, with a distant, forlorn look on his face. I think she liked it but it would have driven me insane. He was a lovely bloke but a bit of a wet.

He would insist on having sex to 'One Vision' by Queen, and would trust in time to the lyrics.... and then cum right on cue when the song finished. I legit can not listen to it now without feeling sick in my throat.

Couple of things made me laugh properly, using his arse as a pencil case is a beauty and eating dead skin is out n out wtf. 😁

Thats really good 👍

Applied way too much sunscreen! He'd just squirt so much out onto his hand and start rubbing it all over, but stop rubbing before it was fully absorbed (and there was too much to have the chance to absorb) so there would be white smears all over his face and neck, and once he started sweating the sunscreen sitting on his skin would sort of coagulate into 3d sand dune style shapes. Then a few hours later he would get the sunscreen back out to reapply when there was still lumps of sunscreen on his skin. It somehow gave me the horrors!

I wonder what goes on in his head for him to think that any of that behaviour is ok?! 😂

wow.

Freddie Mercury would be turning in his grave at the thought!

I know he was Mr Liberal, but even he had his sex life boundaries.

Gives me the ick too just thinking about it

🤢 I hate it when they are all like "darling"

Sounds a bit naff. Did a whole Google search on you and when nothing happened, he proposed.

I had an ex who used to flutter his eyelashes all over my body as a form of foreplay. He thought he was being sensual. It was not 😆

When I had a holiday in Thailand in my teens with a couple of mates, my friend had a short termed fling with someone who had long, painted fingernails on one hand. I asked her why and she just said 'well why do you think??'

I still don't know and I dread to think.

😁 played guitar? I'm hoping it was something much less salubrious though tbh!

I suspect it was something sexual. Fingering? Some kind of weird wank where you pretend to be someone else? The difference between the two hands and their nails was pretty gross

He was trying to wink you off?

Haha

www.instagram.com/reel/CtZzuh3sRnF/?igshid=MmJiY2I4NDBkZg==

One liked to match neon shoes to neon blazers.

Eek. Did you date Michael Portillo?

Just remembered that the same ex who used 'bilious' also bought me a dusty red wine decanter from the chazza for a birthday present. I didn't drink red wine for a start, nor was I in my 50's. He also got me a plastic yellow radio for my 40th, the berk!