Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

Dirty knickers on the floor. Yuck.

Did you manage to find someone with a bigger cock? You deserve to! 🤣

The first (and only) time we were "making out" that was leading to sex, he started to make 'grunting' sounds as though he was some sort of bear who was getting it on with his prey... I got the major ick and had to leave as soon as possible!

I could have a go at a painting for you! Here's one I did in my art class😁

Wearing flip flops to a first date. It was a rainy April evening.

And an ongoing one (but I fear it may not last much longer)... He said he was into wild swimming. He goes all the time. But when we went together, I realised he doesn't actually swim, he just bobs around on his back for a bit.

When we'd meet for a date, he'd say "shall we have a little kiss?" and I would cringe.

Unsurprisingly I couldn't really come back from that. We limped on for a further six months of crap sex; kissing him when it did happen was like having someone clamped to your face - I would honestly struggle to breathe at times.

It was a shame because he was a genuinely nice bloke, but I was too young and shy to persuade him to try a different approach, shall we say.

He must have been massive, or had a very fast metabolism!

@Appalonia - that really made me laugh. Thanks!

I was crazy about someone I dated about 9 years ago. I saw some photos of him on Facebook which gave me late Ickes:

Horrible teeth
Lots of really bad tattoos
Hair receding and going grey

@Truestorypeeps yep he's asleep next to me and we've been happily married 7 years

😂

A guy I was dating kept putting loads of Vaseline on his lips and then coming over and kissing me all slimey and gross.

Each time I wanted him to kiss me less and less and he wasn’t picking up the signs at all.

game over

Oh and he also mansplained my own job to me but actually completely wrong. I then explained my job again and on the next date he had the complete opposite idea of what my job was (I was in Buying and he thought I was in Sales)

He picked me up in his car, when we went to leave said "Let's ROCK" and bobbed his head as if mildly headbanging. We went for a drink and when we moved on said "Let's ROCK" and bobbed his head as if mildly headbanging. He was also short and broad and looked like a square.

Different guys , all from a shocking period if OLD

1. Turned up for first date, whipped a 2 pack of pork pies out of his pocket. Didn't even share. He also had parrots so is known as Parrot man. Never saw the parrots.

1. Said 'are you ready for me?' during very crap sex. I was actually laughing and having to look over his shoulder and try and reign it in. Never saw him again.

1. First date where he was visibly checking out and commenting on other women in the pub.

Ha ha I had this. I'm in buying and he kept saying i was in purchasing and telling me what my job was.

He had never heard of my favourite song - which at the time was on the radio non-stop

Haha snap! So bloody annoying!!

I'm sure he did it to wind me up. Name didn't begin with V did it!!!

1st (and only) date we were in a pub and as we sat down with our drinks he removed his jacket to reveal his tshirt - it was emblazoned with a huge silver and red 🧲 with the words 'Fanny Magnet' underneath it

Another one was so promising. Lovely looking, clearly wealthy and we were sat in a beautiful restaurant and I was thinking that this was a definite upturn in my dating fortunes

Anyway, we were chatting lightly about past relationships and he mentioned he had been married previously. I asked if they'd been divorced long and he said, as he chewed on a bread roll, all nonchalant, 'oh we didn't divorce. She died, sadly. Seven weeks ago now'

Speechless.

This is one first date: asking me to marry him in first 5 minutes (seriously), asking to feel my abs because he is a personal trainer, asking if my mum is fat, also admitted he googled me before the date but couldn't find out anything about my family (he was from a well known family). Ick!!!

Haha no it was John.

I was working for John Lewis buying office at the time and he kept saying ‘I’ll pop into Oxford street store on my lunch break and you can sell me X’ or ‘I’m always in Oxford street store I’m sure I’ll see you next time I’m in there’

OLD one…had clearly been in a lot of therapy and was trying to be very open and honest. On first date found it quite refreshing…

by second date the novelty had worn off! No thought - no matter how rude was unexpressed. Gave me feedback on my kissing technique- ‘not sensual enough’ ( by which he meant it should be more open mouth, licking each others tongues in a pub beer garden)

but the final nail in the coffin was the dancing…wanted to show how relaxed and uninhibited he was in beer garden so started dancing on the way to the bar. Kept missing the beat. 😳😳 was mortified. Resisted the temptation to give feedback.

Male 1: went to Harvard but kept kissing me by poking me with a weirdly rock hard tongue. Then went to Germany and texted me about how he was in a lingerie club.
Male 2: had a hairy back. The hair was in the formation of Angel wings and was incredibly soft. Also got upset when I did not put a ‘X’ at the end of a message and want to thrash out the reasons why.
Male 3: was 8 stone and unfortunately child like everywhere important. Attempted to make up for deficiencies by violent fingering with long nails.

I once dumped a bloke after he licked my nose during sex.

And another when he told me sitting on the bus gave him a hard on because of the vibrations.

Both otherwise gorgeous looking men with great jobs and a good senses of humour

Where do I start with dd2 and 3 dad

over the years lost most of his teeth due to poor dental hygiene, the ones he had left he never brushed and I shit you not they were mouldy , hence awful awful breath, turned my stomach.
smoked 20 a day and that was bad enough but he had phlegm on his chest which he sneezed and spat out (sorry)
Was a shit dad

he was quite good looking at first but over the years the ick crept in

I’ve seen him with his new gf and he’s worse!
food stain all over his top and smells 🤮