Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

He told me that he knew what was happening with my menstrual cycle because of my moods. Fucking cheek, I’ve never suffered with PMT, not ever.

Another seemed quite nice until he smiled and looked like my ex.

I am not sure what horrifies me more: the possibility that all three might be one person or that you managed to meet 3 of these princes among men.

• living room was littered with random used plates, cutlery and half eaten food on the couch, floor... bits of toast just on surfaces etc

• used tampon left on the kitchen sink

• gagging sound with fingers in mouth every time she found something disagreeable

• handling raw chicken and a quick flick under water before touching everything around the kitchen

• bought me a really big personalised gaudy bracelet (like in Friends), naturally expecting me to wear it

• showed me a movie of her going down on her ex to show me her skills to get me excited...

Moaning about his family and his job constantly. Gym obsessed. Boring af

I thought this thread was meant to be light-hearted!

lol😁

In bed, he would put on a French accent like the French woman in Pulp Fiction and ask me for "Oral pleasure."
He would also follow me everywhere around the house. If I said I was going to the toilet he would follow me and talk through the door. If I fetched something from the other side of the room he would follow me. Literally close enough to feel his body heat. Everywhere. I had to dump him before I beat him to death.

I had to dump him before I beat him to death.

😂

I didn't get the ick at the time but my first boyfriend broke up with me after 2y and utterly broke my heart. I was devastated, wanted to die etc but then moved on a dated a couple of other guys and then my now husband.

I met up with Boy 1 many many years later with lots of mutual friends and we all had lunch. I was so nervous that I'd fall in love with him all over again and shatter my fragile heart, etc etc...

He was shorter and thinner than I remembered and sweated profusely when he ate his curry. I was so relieved. Wasn't even that interested in what he had to say. What a difference ten years make, eh

I realised that when he smiled he looked like his sister who I had gone to school with years previously. Total ick. Plus he changed the radio station in my car without asking 😂

No.2.

😂💀

I’m crying with laughter 🤣🤣🤣

Wore “work shoes” for a date walking round a country park.

Over pronounced the 'ing' at the end of words. It wasn't his accent - he was Scottish. It was odd.

Couldn't drive.

I think if you had beaten him to death it would've been doing the world a favour <joke> . That sounds absolutely unbearable.

First date, turned up sweating and dried his hair with a tea towel from his pocket, leaving little bits of tea towel fluff in his stubble.

Another drank Diet Coke first thing in the morning – kept a tin by the bed instead of a glass of water.

Still another gave me an oil painting of my cat that he’d secretly painted.

😂

Omg the oil painted cat I’m crying 😂😂

Called his parents mommy and daddy urgh!

A fussy eater once gave me the ick. Can’t stand ultra fussy Eaters or clean freaks and he was both!

He wore fabric shoes.

Actually, I had a second one with fabric shoes too. But he was nicer, so it was worth holding out until I manipulated him into choosing different footwear :)

Different dates.

1. Did finger guns at me repeatedly, for no apparent reason I could see. So bizarre. Wtf, you are nearly 40, what do you think you are doing?

1. Bearded bloke kept biting my lips when kissing me. I tried to overlook it and actually did sleep with him. When he finished he let out a very feminine little 'ooh' noise. Couldn't get out of that bed fast enough. Never risked a bearded bloke since, I just can't forget that awful kissing, I know it's not the beard's fault but I just can't.

1. Absolutely gorgeous guy, amazing first date, loads of chemistry. He went in for a goodnight kiss and tried to stick his tongue in way too soon. Worse, his tongue felt like it was pointy, it was like I was kissing a lizard or snake. No coming back from that.

Howling 😂😂😂😂

Owned and wore regularly a 'FBI - Female Body Inspector' tshirt

His top lip. He didn't have one.

Talked to me in a baby voice.

Had sticky floors in his flat.
Had terrible posture.
Trousers halfway down his ass (all the same guy)