End of a 6yr olds party- no party bag

[Just4this1]

NC! Quick one- end of a party, nothing handed out to the children- (money not an issue)- would you think rude or perfectly fine?

Not at all rude. Not the norm around here but there are no ‘rules’ for party favours. My child and most of their friends would (rudely) demand to know where the party bags were and why they hadn’t got one though so it’s a risky strategy

As a new mum I'm so sad to read this post and a lot of the responses. Surely the party is the treat, why in the world would anyone expect gifts for attending. It's almost laughable to me. We're turning our children into consumerists who can't appreciate a nice time without expecting something in return.

They’re not necessary. It’s a bit odd if they didn’t even give out a piece of cake?

Off topic but once when I was about 7 a friends parents handed out goldfish in bags instead of party bags (swim party). My Mum was fuming.

I’d thank God for not being handed a bag of plastic clutter.

Do you know what? You sound a bit entitled that you expect a present to give to your child for the honour of letting them attend an expensive party! Have you not heard of the CoL crisis and the fact that plastic is killing the planet?
Good for the mum (even though money no object) hope it catches on!!

I’d be relieved as I think party bags are unnecessary. Children should learn to enjoy the experience for what it is. Give out cake at the end so they know it’s over

This is exactly it. You defined the issue very well. People normalise for kids something that shouldn't be normalised.
Then they feel they cannot change it because kids "expect" the bag thing. Put in the bin. Repeat.

It's terribly sad.

They expect it because they’ve probably been given one at every party they’ve been to before. It’s just convention. You can dislike the practice and I totally see why you would as it often involves so much pointless plastic tat, but you can’t be surprised when small kids expect things to be done the way they know. It’s not even a convention unique to kids parties- weddings have favours, corporate events have bags of merchandise. If I regularly go to a restaurant where you always get a chocolate with the bill I would notice if I didn’t get one on my next visit because I would be expecting one based on past precedent. Doesn’t make anyone a crazed consumerist. Also there’s no reason why it has to be an all or nothing- it’s cheap, easy and not wasteful to give a small edible favour e.g. treat size chocolate or slice of cake but it would avoid a lot of confused and disappointed kids!

100% fine.

Older generation here but never did have "party bags" when my children were little, a piece of birthday cake was wrapped and given on leaving, i dont see anything wrong in just that tbh.

Agree. I'm shocked people have such strong feelings feelings about cake, sweets, and plastic tat. On other threads, sugar is the devil.

Absolutely fine.

I agree. It’s a good opportunity to give your child a little lesson in gratitude and not being entitled - if they ask where their bag is on the way home. Kids need to learn that being invited to a party, hosted and provided with food, drinks, entertainment and possibly prizes or craft stuff from an activity is generous enough. Also, perhaps there’s also an opportunity for a lesson about recycling and reducing waste if they ask why they don’t have one, given that all the party bags we have received have never just been cake and sweets - which I think would be great all round if this was what a party bag consisted of. Yes, I know some have said about lovely ideas like a book, seeds or even a little Easter egg but that’s not my experience of party bags so far.

I would also welcome them not being such a given, at least not in the way I have seen. (I don’t agree with not cutting a cake up for the kids though and keeping it for family only afterwards.)

Jesus wept.

I just don’t get the ‘children’s expectations’ thing. Don’t you ever say ‘that’s not happening’ to your child? Can you really tell me they’d be bothered for more than a nanosecond about not getting a plastic bag with random stuff? Whatever happened to just ‘no’ and change the subject.

I do wonder if this is more about judging the other parents.

I do wonder if this is more about judging the other parents
It is absolutely this.
As evidenced by op declaring her child was completely unbothered, yet feeling the need to comment on the party mum’s ungenerous behaviour.

Bloody hell.

They’re usually a bag of plastic crap. Just because you can afford to do it doesn’t mean you have to.

I can’t believe you’d be aggrieved enough about the lack of party bag to start a MN thread about it (!!) and add it to the list of reasons you consider them “ungracious hosts”.

I asked one question to gauge opinion- there’s thousands of MN threads that aren’t life or death, to see what the general
consensus is. I didn’t come on her all angry and pent up, it was a question. Perhaps MN isn’t for you.

people have strong feelings about anything to do with parenting! It's the sudden need to make themselves feel better and superior.

No one gives a monkey about what their coworkers are having for breakfast at home, but the co-workers children? God helps us 😂😂

Perhaps Mumsnet isn’t for you
🤣🤣 🤣
What the hell, op??

That was my thought, too.

I didn’t come on her all angry and pent up, it was a question. Perhaps MN isn’t for you.

angry and pent up is literally the definition of AIBU posters OP 😂😂

I would find it unusual but not rude. My kids would definitely comment negatively but I would tell them they eat enough sweets anyway. So actually, I'd be quite glad there wasn't a party bag for a change!

@alwaysoutdoors
I'm an old mum ( DC 18, 16 & 14) and I totally agree.

Brave? Really?