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Original poster

End of a 6yr olds party- no party bag

413 replies

Just4this1 · 05/06/2023 16:15

NC! Quick one- end of a party, nothing handed out to the children- (money not an issue)- would you think rude or perfectly fine?

OP posts:
Windblownwife · 06/06/2023 21:01

BlockbusterVideoCard · 06/06/2023 20:16

Haven't RTFT so apologies if this has already been said.

I see parallels between the party bags issue and the needless overcomplication over what (pointless complicated nonsense or pure tat) is supposedly 'needed' at weddings, and wedding favours specifically, which my non-scientific study over many years tells me that almost no-one wants or knows what to do with them post wedding.

You do all realise that a lot of this has been fueled by suppliers, magazines and latterly influencers seeing something starting of its own accord (such as cakes or sweets in a little bag to take home or eat on the journey) and building upon it in layers over time, further fueled by social contagion? Ultimately for financial gain. Much to the detriment of the planet, family budgets and seemingly some people's sanity.

This

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 06/06/2023 21:04

I don’t do party bags. It’s bags of absolute shit.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 06/06/2023 21:07

Just4this1 · 06/06/2023 18:24

Thanks for all the responses- interesting to read.
For those that want to know, I was an attendee.
Also for what it’s worth my child didn’t actually clock there wasn’t one. I’ve taught her never to expect presents on her birthday either- but equally to never go to a party without giving one.
personally I loathe a party bag due to the plastic tat inevitably left all over my car- however I think it’s bad hosting to not give young kids something as they leave (just my opinion). There’s also further examples of the hosts ungenerous behaviour but it would be too outing.
thanks again all.

Presumably the host paid for entertainment, food and cakes for all the kids, and the kids enjoyed themselves… not sure your kids need any additional presents or thank yous just for attending a party and bringing a cheapish present?

Bekstar · 06/06/2023 21:11

I think it's up to the hosts, you say no issue witho.ey but can you guarantee that. Whether a family look like they are financially stable on the outside I've known people who come across as millionaires go into financial ruin. It can happen. They may also be good.withomey due to being frugal.
Although my child loves a party bag he's also taught it is.nit expected and he doesn't care. When they've run out he's willingly handed his across to another child just to be kind because that's the type of kid he is.
I agree party bags can be tatty and bits of plastic but they do also bring a bit of joy. I think it's time shops did reconsider the materials used in such things. I saw a fantastic example at a party for an 11 year old who was into everything ecological. They gave out small paper bags with a packet of Bee friendly seeds to scatter, as well as a small cup, a little plug of compost (the type you wet) and a couple of vegetable seeds so the child could plant their own and watch it grow. They then also added the wrapped birthday cake and the kids loved them.

Chattermax · 06/06/2023 21:21

Not quite the point of the thread but to all those saying they hate the waste of plastic tat, save all the bits from party bags and make a 'tat bag' to take to restaurants, on journeys etc - a fab tip from Five Minute Mum that we've used with great success. Pulling out those long forgotten fidget spinners, yo-yos, cars, poppits, slap band etc can buy you a decent chunk of distraction time when you need it! We usually add a couple of Lego figures, lolly sticks, blob of blu tac and can make all sorts of easy games upw ith brushes, tracks, towers etc.

Spirallingdownwards · 06/06/2023 21:25

Just4this1 · 06/06/2023 18:24

Thanks for all the responses- interesting to read.
For those that want to know, I was an attendee.
Also for what it’s worth my child didn’t actually clock there wasn’t one. I’ve taught her never to expect presents on her birthday either- but equally to never go to a party without giving one.
personally I loathe a party bag due to the plastic tat inevitably left all over my car- however I think it’s bad hosting to not give young kids something as they leave (just my opinion). There’s also further examples of the hosts ungenerous behaviour but it would be too outing.
thanks again all.

So you go from being very pious to very judgmental in the same post.

MotherofPearl · 06/06/2023 21:25

bussteward · 05/06/2023 16:29

Normalise no party bags! Imagine what a generational triumph it would be to end the scourge of tat.

I couldn't agree more.

Mollymalone123 · 06/06/2023 21:26

I think it’s great.especially as I am the age where we did a party for my kids and party bags weren’t yet a thing.just more rubbish that goes to landfill.a piece of birthday cake to go home with is just right.

JT12 · 06/06/2023 21:39

Perfectly fine - I always put on really nice parties for the kids but didn’t always hand out party bags. I did when they were very young but stopped as they got a bit older.

Goldbar · 06/06/2023 21:51

Windblownwife · 06/06/2023 20:54

I think it’s far more rude to expect, and bring children up to expect, and extra gifts after a party. When my children were young I organised a bd party and completely forgot about party bags, everyone still had fun, had a great time, went home exhausted came full!

But kids aren't really brought up to expect them imo. Not by the parents, at least. They expect them ime not because of their upbringing by their parents but because party bags are the norm at most of the parties they go to. I agree that normalising no party bags is the way forward, but I think it's odd to say that young children are "rude" and "entitled" just because in their experience, most of the time party = party bag, and they don't have the social filter yet to shut up if they don't get one.

BTMadmummy · 06/06/2023 21:53

Not rude at all. I think party bags are more hassle than they are worth.

I think it’s good someone has gone against ‘the norm’

SparklingGrapeWater · 06/06/2023 21:56

I can't stand party bags. Have never had any at my kids parties.

chaosmaker · 06/06/2023 21:56

Isn't the point of a party to celebrate the birthday child's day? Everything else doesn't matter.

VeraMay · 06/06/2023 22:02

Party bags. What are they? I had 3 daughters. Around 30 Birthday parties over the years. I never fell into the party bag trap. I was only asked once by a child "where's my party bag?". My reply was "Did you enjoy the party? Did you play lots of games? Did you win a prize? Have you got your cake and a balloon?" The reply to all those questions was "yes". "Then, why do you want a party bag?" Child went home happy. Every child went home with cake, balloon and a prize. Party bags are over-rated. Don't fall into the trap of wasting money on bits of plastic that will be in the bin soon after being taken out of said bag.

MysteryBelle · 06/06/2023 22:09

ConscriptMother · 05/06/2023 22:16

Ok, I'm really thinking about this now for some reason. My children have brought home various things from parties, but not sure if any of these falls under the "party bag" umbrella:

  • a painting/bird house/piece of jewelry they made while at the party
  • small bag of candy collected from pinata at the party (this one is even a bag so I think this might actually count as a party bag!)
  • photo taken of them at the party - this is a cute memento, from one of those instant cameras that are popular now? Actually I think I'll do this at one of ours!
  • bag of cookies they decorated at party
  • minor piece of sports equipment provided to participate in sport-type-party
  • small gingerbread house made at gingerbread house decorating party (this was FUN to get home)
  • Easter eggs from an Easter egg hunt
  • Small bubble shooter things that everyone was given at the beginning of the party because they played with them outside during the party
  • one DID go to a ballet party and came home with ballet stickers from the studio (but this seemed like more of an ad for that place than a fun toy or whatever)
  • part of a ballet costume (like the accessories) from another ballet party
  • I'm thinking we came home with a plant once but can't remember why...maybe they painted the pots or something?

This really is interesting how different our experiences are!

Great ideas

whycantmenfindstuff · 06/06/2023 22:18

I wouldn't care but the kids ask for them! C little Fs

Fizbosshoes · 06/06/2023 22:21

I did a craft party for DDs 8th (iirc) birthday party. All the kids got to do an activity and take the item home....so I didn't do a party bag, but they did get a piece of cake.
One child asked if there was a party bag and I said no because they had their craft to take home.

I don't think its rude, although it's unusual not to have anything. I wouldn't think it was a huge deal

DeadbeatYoda · 06/06/2023 22:23

I'd feel a bit grabby even questioning that one. Party bags are an extra, there should be no expectation, the parent has already provided a party,

Jdavies84 · 06/06/2023 22:33

I gave out kinder eggs and every child was happy. Couldn’t be bothered with the faff of party bags

chubbychopsticks · 06/06/2023 23:00

I'd prefer this! Sick of getting sweets and plastic rubbish that end up in the bin anyway.

AllAtSea4 · 06/06/2023 23:02

Very different I think from the expectations and experiences these days? Aren’t parents expected to provide bags full of small presents as well as cake nowadays? I simply don’t get the presumption that a child should receive gifts for attending someone else’s birthday party!

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/06/2023 23:12

Dd got an invite just before she finished primary that said that in an effort to reduce waste they weren't doing party bags. Brilliant way of putting it, and frankly a relief.

Apparently it's now considered naff and wasteful to do them in that school and no one does!! Wish I'd thought of it 20 years ago.....all that crap that cost money but went in the bin.

Pinkfluff76 · 06/06/2023 23:27

Sadly it’s seen as unusual because it is, but I’d be relieved. They’re generally full of sweets and useless stuff

Newjobformoremoney · 06/06/2023 23:57

I'm a great host. I've never given party bags. Plastic stuff that breaks easily and ends up on landfills. Honestly they are terrible things.

Red0 · 07/06/2023 00:04

Not rude, but reckon the kids would be expecting one and therefore disappointed if not given one.

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