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Original poster

End of a 6yr olds party- no party bag

413 replies

Just4this1 · 05/06/2023 16:15

NC! Quick one- end of a party, nothing handed out to the children- (money not an issue)- would you think rude or perfectly fine?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2023 21:51

EatYourVegetables · 05/06/2023 19:24

I hate party bags but have no idea how to extract my children from a party without them.

You tell them it's time to go? Do you need cake and tat to make them leave every location?

CrumbliestCrumble · 05/06/2023 21:55

Unusual. Its part of a party in 18 years since being a parent of school age dc. Never not got a party bag or sweet cone.

ConscriptMother · 05/06/2023 21:57

Haha right?! My children are not even particularly obedient so I kind of get it… but if the hostess mother is saying “bye, thanks so much for coming!” …then everyone goes 🤷🏻‍♀️

ConscriptMother · 05/06/2023 22:16

Ok, I'm really thinking about this now for some reason. My children have brought home various things from parties, but not sure if any of these falls under the "party bag" umbrella:

  • a painting/bird house/piece of jewelry they made while at the party
  • small bag of candy collected from pinata at the party (this one is even a bag so I think this might actually count as a party bag!)
  • photo taken of them at the party - this is a cute memento, from one of those instant cameras that are popular now? Actually I think I'll do this at one of ours!
  • bag of cookies they decorated at party
  • minor piece of sports equipment provided to participate in sport-type-party
  • small gingerbread house made at gingerbread house decorating party (this was FUN to get home)
  • Easter eggs from an Easter egg hunt
  • Small bubble shooter things that everyone was given at the beginning of the party because they played with them outside during the party
  • one DID go to a ballet party and came home with ballet stickers from the studio (but this seemed like more of an ad for that place than a fun toy or whatever)
  • part of a ballet costume (like the accessories) from another ballet party
  • I'm thinking we came home with a plant once but can't remember why...maybe they painted the pots or something?

This really is interesting how different our experiences are!

NewNovember · 05/06/2023 22:22

girlswillbegirls · 05/06/2023 17:19

I would welcome this and I hope it will become the norm. We need to ditch plastic NOW and tech our kids about climate change and stop consuming tat. And who wants more sweets for their kids after cake etc?
I hate party bags I hope they will soon be gone.
OP those parents are environmentally conscious, nothing to do with money.

My children have lots of plastic toys they love and I will continue to buy them. Plastic hate is just the latest fad.

Hannahsbananas · 05/06/2023 22:27

NewNovember · 05/06/2023 22:22

My children have lots of plastic toys they love and I will continue to buy them. Plastic hate is just the latest fad.

Show quote history

It’s not a “fad”, no. You liking plastic doesn’t make environmental concerns a fad 🤦‍♀️

sanityisamyth · 05/06/2023 22:41

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 05/06/2023 16:16

Unusual but fine. It's just normally a bag filled with plastic crap.

This. I'd be very grateful of no more shit to deal with!

chaosmaker · 06/06/2023 14:09

Just4this1 · 05/06/2023 17:17

Havent stated if it’s our party or one I’ve been to as I didn’t want it to sway the conversation towards me either being a rude host or ungracious guest :)

Thread's been going on a while now, so which party were you in this non drama?

LovelyLisa2 · 06/06/2023 17:57

I would think it is only a load of tat which ends up in the bin anyway. Unusual but not really an issue.

Poppingmad123 · 06/06/2023 18:05

I’ve had one parent say they’re not doing it this time due to cost but also said they weren’t expecting presents (cost of living crisis) and did give advance warning so little ones are not too disappointed. I think it’s fair enough, not rude. They’re doing the party & that’s expensive enough.

My 5 year old does look forward to the party bag though regardless of what’s in it. And I love making them too, usually spending a bit too much on them but I enjoy it and don’t expect other parents to do the same. Everyone should simply have the party they can afford.

CherryLingo · 06/06/2023 18:07

Poppingmad123 · 06/06/2023 18:05

I’ve had one parent say they’re not doing it this time due to cost but also said they weren’t expecting presents (cost of living crisis) and did give advance warning so little ones are not too disappointed. I think it’s fair enough, not rude. They’re doing the party & that’s expensive enough.

My 5 year old does look forward to the party bag though regardless of what’s in it. And I love making them too, usually spending a bit too much on them but I enjoy it and don’t expect other parents to do the same. Everyone should simply have the party they can afford.

Sounds sensible! 👍

EvenmoreDisorganised · 06/06/2023 18:08

Unusual to not give anything. My DCs used to love shopping for the contents of their party bags and then filling them.

Blueink · 06/06/2023 18:18

It’s not a great attitude to be expecting party bag - parents and kids alike. It’s a bonus (possibly) not a right!

Backatworkmum · 06/06/2023 18:22

Agree most party bags are filled with crap - just the sweets are a good alternative or what I saw at a party once which I thought was lovely was a little bag of seeds given to each child to take home to plant.

Original poster
Just4this1 · 06/06/2023 18:24

Thanks for all the responses- interesting to read.
For those that want to know, I was an attendee.
Also for what it’s worth my child didn’t actually clock there wasn’t one. I’ve taught her never to expect presents on her birthday either- but equally to never go to a party without giving one.
personally I loathe a party bag due to the plastic tat inevitably left all over my car- however I think it’s bad hosting to not give young kids something as they leave (just my opinion). There’s also further examples of the hosts ungenerous behaviour but it would be too outing.
thanks again all.

OP posts:
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 06/06/2023 18:25

Wouldn’t care - just tat anyway.

E17Stowmum · 06/06/2023 18:27

Good for them. Stamp it out. The invitation, fun and hospitality are what count.

Goldbar · 06/06/2023 18:28

Blueink · 06/06/2023 18:18

It’s not a great attitude to be expecting party bag - parents and kids alike. It’s a bonus (possibly) not a right!

But then parties aren't a "right" either. And if most parties do have a party bag at the end, then it's unrealistic to think this isn't going to set the expectation for most young children, however much you hiss at them not to make a fuss or explain that not all parties have party bags. It's not really about feeling "entitled" to a party bag, it is just what most children have become accustomed to happening. If something happens 19 out of 20 times but not the twentieth, then it is a bit of a surprise.

mandlerparr · 06/06/2023 18:33

I would give bags while the kids are there and not as they leave, but maybe a cultural difference. Party bags here are full of birthday themed junk, like hats, poppers, streamers, straws, rings, etc.

Blueink · 06/06/2023 18:35

Goldbar · 06/06/2023 18:28

But then parties aren't a "right" either. And if most parties do have a party bag at the end, then it's unrealistic to think this isn't going to set the expectation for most young children, however much you hiss at them not to make a fuss or explain that not all parties have party bags. It's not really about feeling "entitled" to a party bag, it is just what most children have become accustomed to happening. If something happens 19 out of 20 times but not the twentieth, then it is a bit of a surprise.

Show quote history

Why do you think I wouldn’t agree about the right to party? Do you mean the right to be invited?

It’s a better lesson to be appreciative and not entitled - the value of the no party, party bag

Fight for the right to party bags - CF on the rise

BigSkies2022 · 06/06/2023 18:36

Well, it's a long time since I did children's parties, but a piece of cake and a balloon was considered fine. The parties were generally of the swimming pool or bouncy castle or soft play or recliner bikes type, depending on age, so lots of activity, then a birthday tea, then cut the cake, sing happy birthday and go home with your cake and balloon. Is that tight-fisted? It honestly wouldn't have occurred to me that it was.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 06/06/2023 18:42

My friend hates plastic waste, she made bee bombs and put them in brown paper bags with a thank you note, slice of cake, crayons and an activity book. I thought it was lovely.

CantFindMyMarbles · 06/06/2023 18:45

Absolutely fine.
Anyone who raises a child to expect a party bag is raising someone who is going to turn in to a very entitled adult.

Dkf04 · 06/06/2023 18:48

The more I read these posts about stuff like this, about crap husbands, tedious issues, tedious kids, tedious mates, the more I’m glad I’m out of such a ridiculous lifestyle. Mumsnet...I’m out

weirdoboelady · 06/06/2023 18:54

As I said previously, if I were a party parent I would be all for party bags - as a clear signal that it is time for the recipients to piss off! 🕊

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