End of a 6yr olds party- no party bag

[Just4this1]

NC! Quick one- end of a party, nothing handed out to the children- (money not an issue)- would you think rude or perfectly fine?

So you are the entitled one.

Oh ffs! She hosted a party, and all you can shite on about is her “ungenerous” behaviour.
Meh…

It’s not unusual.

most people will be happy to be sent home with a slice of birthday cake.

im not into this keeping up appearances nonsense it’s so pompous.

just do what you like.. it’s not about the party bags it’s about the kids having fun and making memories!

Yes, there's no "right" to either a party invitation or a party bag! It's not about rights at all, it's about social custom and the expectations created by said social custom.

The majority social custom atm is party bags. If there isn't a party bag, that's clearly not a problem but it does run contrary to the prevailing social norm. It may therefore confound expectations, in this case of small children used to receiving a party bag. Said small children may not be backward in expressing their surprise at this departure from the norm, unless their accompanying adults can reach them in time to shut them up. Hopefully when they're older they'll learn to mask their surprise with more grace.

As a parent, I couldn't care less whether my DC gets a party bag or not, so long as I can extract them quickly enough that the host doesn't hear the loud "uhh, where's the party bag?". And of course I've done the "not all parties have party bags, you shouldn't expect to get one" spiel. But that has limited impact when children generally do get them.

This thread is batshit.

I can see it shortly - parents sue for mental anguish as little Persephone has been suffering from trauma due to non receipt of party bag!!

I’m clearly not taking the potential trauma seriously, on account of the Beastie Boys now taken up residence in my head

I like to give out party bags at the end of a party. It signals a thanks for coming buy please fuck off home now.

 @Blueink

You gotta fight
For your right
To a paaaaarty [bag]

Child went to a swimming party, one hour total time, no food, but given a large ish bag of harribos at the end, I think they are about a £1, or were at the time.

The only annoying thing was the mum saying how fabulous a swim party was, when she had no hassle of food or party bags

Hmm. No hassle for her, but our children were hoping for food and drinks 😂😂

I've tried to rule out party bags. Awful things that teach kids to be grabby. I don't think that you need them for younger kids either - surely it's helpful to teach four year olds that they shouldn't expect gifts for attending a fun event for 2-3 hours with cake and sweets and entertainment??

Half their school curriculum seems to be based around the environment and doing the right thing by the planet, then we ply them with cheap rubbish plastic gifts every weekend that they have lost interest in before you've even got them home.

I like your attitude!

I would love to know what the 'too outing' examples of previous ungenerous behaviour were. 'There was no tea or coffee on offer for the mums despite the fact we had to drive all the way to the hosts' heavily guarded Norfolk estate for the party?'

Around here I’ve noticed a trend away from tat - a mug or water bottle, a story book, a few sweets, a piece of cake. Some spend too much but most things are probably from the £1 shop or found in the discount aisle over the year but thoughtful rather than crap. But bags (and presents for the birthday child) shouldn’t be expected as we never know another’s situation.

I'm was a single mum for years and found it so hard scraping the money together for a party for my dc let alone filling loads of party bags with plastic crap. You never know the reasons why some people do / don't do what they do but it's certainly nothing to give any thought to.

the invitation didn't state an end time

That is quite strange.

I do think something is generally expected. I hated the thought of wasting the little money I had on tat that would be thrown out so kept things simple. One item is perfectly fine, no need for a bag. I would have saved the cake to give out at the end if I didn't want to give something else.

No hassle for her, but our children were hoping for food and drinks

It is unusual for no food at a party so while I wouldn't say this is wrong, especially with the good fun and high cost of a swimming party for presumably lots of children, it would have been sensible for the invitations to say that no meal would be provided, as children can get very hungry after swimming and shouldn't have had a big meal just before.

Oh ffs! She hosted a party, and all you can shite on about is her “ungenerous” behaviour.
Meh…

^^This

Then I think you need to manage your child’s expectations to be honest.

Party invitations and invites are not a guarantee, I think it’s ridiculous what parents are expected to do for bloody birthday parties. No child should be expecting a party bag, if they get one, that’s nice but if not there shouldn’t be an issue.

I’d be much happier if my child didn’t get a party bag as it’s always crap, even if it’s plastic free.

Excellent. I am a grandmother now and hated this new trend when my children were little. I hosted parties with prizes given out during games, provided home made food, fed and watered the parents too and would give each child a piece of cake and a balloon to take home along with some sweets but somehow felt mean! I remember some children asking me where their party bags were 🤦‍♀️

Haven't RTFT so apologies if this has already been said.

I see parallels between the party bags issue and the needless overcomplication over what (pointless complicated nonsense or pure tat) is supposedly 'needed' at weddings, and wedding favours specifically, which my non-scientific study over many years tells me that almost no-one wants or knows what to do with them post wedding.

You do all realise that a lot of this has been fueled by suppliers, magazines and latterly influencers seeing something starting of its own accord (such as cakes or sweets in a little bag to take home or eat on the journey) and building upon it in layers over time, further fueled by social contagion? Ultimately for financial gain. Much to the detriment of the planet, family budgets and seemingly some people's sanity.

Cake and sweets is a party bag isn't it? That's what we had as children, cake and sweets in a small bag.

Rude not even a slice of cake to take home?

I think it’s far more rude to expect, and bring children up to expect, and extra gifts after a party. When my children were young I organised a bd party and completely forgot about party bags, everyone still had fun, had a great time, went home exhausted came full!

And full!