Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

On holiday and found out he's cheated

1000 replies

manipulatrice · 25/05/2023 06:08

I am on holiday with my husband and 2 kids.

I took a picture and sent it to myself using my husbands phone, and as I went to close WhatsApp I saw a name I had never seen. So I clicked it.

He's been having an affair for 6 months. I called his bluff pretending I had seen more and he then admitted as he thought I had seen, that they have been sleeping together.

In a fit of rage I launched his phone and smashed it. He claims he did it because he was lonely as I work nights, and he wanted attention.

I've never felt so alone and desperate in my whole life. We are only on day 2 of a 14 day long haul holiday.

If it wasn't for my wonderful children I think I would just disappear.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ClawedButler · 06/07/2023 15:09

Hope you're doing OK @manipulatrice. This bit is the grind, I suppose, but I'm hoping that a little spark of defiant joy is starting to ignite within you. Buy the pasta! Buy the wine box! (Cancel the cheque?)

Thinkingofmovingtosea · 08/07/2023 18:13

Hope you are doing ok.. and that your kids are doing ok... This is a shit phase as think it really starts to sink in a month plus after.. Thinking of you and we are here if you want to rant..

Original poster
manipulatrice · 09/07/2023 18:17

It's think that's really accurate. It has sunk in.
I'm less emotional in all senses of the word, less anger and crying and I didn't cry this week when I saw my counsellor.

I'm just a bit numb and blank now. But I am finding joy in friends and work and the other stuff in my life. Kids are good as well 🙂

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
Thinkingofmovingtosea · 09/07/2023 19:25

Well thinking of you - look after yourself and fair play for finding the good in things right now - you are a warrior.

Beaverbridge · 09/07/2023 19:52

Good for you lovely.

ZekeZeke · 09/07/2023 21:12

You sound strong OP.

Gillbil · 13/07/2023 11:26

Good for you!

possomblossom · 26/07/2023 11:26

Still thinking of you a lot @manipulatrice . I hope things are continuing to improve for you and that you are feeling lighter (now you're shot of the deadweight cheating louse) and freer and taking ever more pleasure in your family, friends, support and life generally. 💐🌞

ClawedButler · 26/07/2023 13:59

Yes, when the shock wears off and you're left looking at the rubble and starting to piece it together again, that's when reality bites.

So glad to hear that you are making progress, although it won't always feel like it. I know that sometimes when I've felt that numb, blank feeling it's because my brain has kind of gone, "Woah, that's enough drama for now, let's just switch it all off for a break". The feelings do come back, when you're ready for them. Meanwhile, use the relative peace to take care of your physical wellbeing.

hevs03 · 27/07/2023 11:13

@manipulatrice really hope you are doing ok

Cantthinkof1rightnow · 27/07/2023 11:22

@manipulatrice hope you're all doing okay, and that the counselling is helping.

Thinkingofmovingtosea · 01/08/2023 16:23

How are you doing lately @manipulatrice. Just to let you know you are in my thoughts. Hope you are doing ok xo

TheWernethWife · 04/08/2023 18:50

My daughter has always said that men think with their dicks. She calls it Mr Winky, man is led by Mr Winky.

Coulditreallybe · 17/11/2023 00:38

Thought of you today and hope you’re ok @manipulatrice

Original poster
manipulatrice · 29/11/2023 22:40

Coulditreallybe · 17/11/2023 00:38

Thought of you today and hope you’re ok @manipulatrice

That's so lovely, and thank you.

I'm "ok" it's just been a horrendous year and it feels like it won't end, and I don't just mean him, a load of other stuff following that which has just sent me to some very dark places.

I think I'm coming out of the other side of it now.

2024 has to be better right?

OP posts:
octoberfarm · 30/11/2023 03:31

2024 will be better Flowers So sorry you've been having such a hard time, OP. Really hope things start easing up for you soon.

Azandme · 30/11/2023 08:36

2024 will be better. 💐

Inthedeep · 30/11/2023 18:27

I really hope 2024 is a better year for you and your sons - you deserve a better year after having such an awful 2023 💐

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 30/11/2023 23:07

2024 will definitely be better.
You will get through this xx

piscofrisco · 01/12/2023 06:20

Lots of love to you op and best wishes for the new year. These things have a habit of coming all at once. Your wheel of fortune is at the bottom just now but it will turn again-even if it doesn't feel like it now. I often think of your thread and hope you are doing ok. Keep going mate-it's all you can do.

Nanaof1 · 01/12/2023 15:47

I hope 2024 is a much better year for you, @manipulatrice . You certainly deserve it. I'm sorry that you had even more shoved on your plate after your "holiday discovery". Wishing you the very best in the coming years.

AcrossthePond55 · 01/12/2023 17:37

@manipulatrice

I've had a stern word with 2024 and it promises to behave much better than 2023.

Chin up, shoulders back, big step forward.

AliceS1994 · 01/12/2023 19:25

Edited to delete as zombie thread

SmartHome · 02/12/2023 08:22

This isn't a zombie thread? The OP came back to update on how she was doing and everyone was please to hear from her?

adriftabroad · 02/12/2023 19:17

This is not a zomie thread.

What an odd thing to decide to do.@AliceS1994

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.