Pregnant at 43?!

[Stripypillow]

I haven’t actually taken a test yet because I’m a bit scared to. Mostly because it would be an amazing but terrifying thing to be pregnant! I am 10 days late, and feel pregnant (headachey, sore boobs, sort of strange feeling that I had last time).

DH and I thought we couldn’t have another dc, we were told we had secondary infertility and conceiving naturally would be highly unlikely. DS is 10!

I know I might not even be pregnant. But if I am… anyone else had a baby at 43?! How did it go? I’m terrified for so many reasons! One that I’m not pregnant and have let myself fantasise about it for the last couple of days, another that I am and would miscarry because of my age, another that I am and would feel like an old mum…

I live in an area where women having babies in their 40s is normal. I have friends with babies and toddlers, so wouldn’t be completely left out.

Anyone had a baby at 43? How did it go?

I expect it's because the OP has suffered infertility and her only other child is 10.

She is excited because she was told that another pregnancy was very, very unlikely.

Your right I can understand she's nervous and doesn't want her bubble to burst. Op I hope you get the result you want. Best of luck x

🥺🙏 loking forward to the update tomorrow

My sister had her first at 21 and her last at 44. She had shit pregnancies every time but has 4 healthy kids. I have friends who had kids in their 20s with genetic conditions. It's just, life.

Good luck op

I’ve told my story on here before, but I’ll add it again as it’s quite relevant to your situation! I’ll try and shorten it as much as possible!

We had DD1 (now 16 and in middle of GCSE’s - ugh) after 3 rounds of IVF, when I was a month off 39 and DH had just turned 36. Difficult pregnancy, bouts of bleeding, I had SPD. I was sure i wasn’t going to end well. But it did.

Used remaining frozen embryos when DD1 was 2. Positive test, but already bleeding. Non-viable pregnancy. I’d just turned 41 at this point. We got on with our lives, very much enjoying DD1.

3.5 years later (so I’m 44.5 now) I do a pregnancy test to rule it out as I’m late and want some wine at the weekend. It’s bloody positive! Completely natural pregnancy.

Much easier pregnancy this time. No bleeding or SPD. DD2 born 1 month before my 45th birthday!

I’m 55 now, DH 52, DD2 is 10. She’s the absolute light of all of our lives. Her and DD1 get on great (most of the time) and are “besties” as DD2 would say.

I can’t imagine our lives turing out any other way now, though I cannot overestimate what a shock it was at the time!

Keeping everything crossed for you…!

If you're ten days late there is really no need to wait for first morning urine. Do it now and put us all out of our misery 😂😉

I get that everyone is excited, and I really hope OP gets the result she wants, but it is worth remembering that pregnancy and perimenopause can have pretty much identical symptoms and not get too carried away with the anticipation just yet.

Best of luck OP, genuinely.

Fingers crossed for you, OP

Ah I hope u get 2 tests and do one right now!!!

Another vote for not worrying about the future.

I was 40 when I had my daughter. My Dad was 41 when I was born.

At 80, we went to an island that he loved in his youth. He climbed up the waterfall quite happily then.

At 89 now, he finally seems old. But he is still able to walk to the park with us. He’s a keen gardener and they tend to his veggies and harvest fruit in happy companionship together.

He clearly couldn’t take on solo childcare duties, because he needs his afternoon nap (and I’d never ask that of my parents), but he is certain up for and up to spending really high quality time with the grandchildren…it’s just doing different things than he did with us when he was in his 50s and 60s.

Age is a number to a certain degree. I see a number of octogenarians who are physically and cognitively still good, and people in their 60s even who are physiologically much older than their age.

I had no. 3 at 42, the elder two were 7 and 9. By far the best pregnancy, and I just loved the whole thing. He's 1 now and I would totally do it again except that I think DH would probably actually divorce me . . . Weirdly I think the biggest difference was actually professional. I was in such a different place at work in my early 40s compared to early/mid 30s, I wasn't stressed in anything like the same way about missing work, having to take time off sick during pregnancy, taking a long leave etc etc because I knew my reputation in my field was already secure.

@Stripypillow I would have loved to be a young parent. But, having a family later meant I was more financially stable, happy to leave partying days behind etc

I think there are advantages / disadvantages of any set up and you just have to make the most of whatever situation you're in

I'm 43 and currently 21 weeks. All smooth sailing so far. Also have a 19 month old - no complications with him but they wouldn't let me go over my due date so induced at 39 weeks. Good luck!

This is making me broody at 40! (husbanddoesn't feel doesn't feel same!)

I think I'd take 1,000 steps back, you really are getting ahead of yourself. I'd be more inclined to think I was perimenopausal at 43, are you sure you aren't perimenopausal? Maybe test and go from there.

Hope you get the outcome you are hoping for.

I had my second DC a few months after turning 45 (been trying for years, gave up & few months later fell pregnant) - pregnancy was smooth, DC is now 10 months old healthy & a cheerful little thing! I worry a bit about being old/how old I'll be when DC starts school, does GCSE's, maybe uni etc but I can't do anything about it so just thank my lucky stars and try to be healthy & active where I can. Good luck

I was 41 but know a couple of people who had their second at 43. I like the earlier response that you’ve got to the point where you give zero fucks! I was definitely less stressed than I would have been in my 20s.

My MIL was born to a 43 year old mother in 1934. She’d had 5 children over 21 years. She kept herself very fit and healthy, saw all her grandchildren reach adulthood (and was more involved with DH and his siblings than the older ones as she was retired and had more time) and was a great grandmother via the oldest.

Fingers crossed for you and congratulations if your suspicions are correct!

I had my children at 42, 43 and 45. Normal healthy pregnancies. I had consultant led care because I was over 40, extra scans and was put on ‘baby aspirin’. I live in an area where having a baby in your 40’s, even a first baby is common.

Good luck!

My MIL had my DH when she was 43 - her older child was 16! Never met her as she died before DH and I met each other but I don't think she had any regrets and he had a wonderful childhood.

Congratulations op!

My Mum is 20 years older than me and whilst very l helpful when we see her we live to for away for her to be much day to day help. Don't worry, people can parent without hands on grandparents.

I've a friend who chose to try again in her early 40s - successfully! So it's not too late.

Dd had her third baby at very nearly 43, and a friend of hers had her 2nd at 45. Both fine.

I had my first and only at 42. Would have happily had another even beyond 43 but it didn't happen.

My mother had my little brother at 43.
43 can still cope with teething, broken nights etc. But coping with an energetic 10 yr old at 53 in mid menopause, was a whole lot harder.

I was 15 when he was born and expected to step up and fill the gaps; I'd recommend you avoid putting that burden on your 10 yr old.

Not 43 but 41 fell pregnant for the first time. If I choose to have another next year I'll be 43 😁 so book marking for tips!