Pregnant at 43?!

[Stripypillow]

I haven’t actually taken a test yet because I’m a bit scared to. Mostly because it would be an amazing but terrifying thing to be pregnant! I am 10 days late, and feel pregnant (headachey, sore boobs, sort of strange feeling that I had last time).

DH and I thought we couldn’t have another dc, we were told we had secondary infertility and conceiving naturally would be highly unlikely. DS is 10!

I know I might not even be pregnant. But if I am… anyone else had a baby at 43?! How did it go? I’m terrified for so many reasons! One that I’m not pregnant and have let myself fantasise about it for the last couple of days, another that I am and would miscarry because of my age, another that I am and would feel like an old mum…

I live in an area where women having babies in their 40s is normal. I have friends with babies and toddlers, so wouldn’t be completely left out.

Anyone had a baby at 43? How did it go?

Had second at almost 41. Lovely elcs. I would definitely recommend. She is 5 years younger than sister and for the most part that works great!

OP, you sound so lovely. I'm sorry that you've had such a rollercoaster of emotions, and that you've given your loved ones a big cuddle. I hope the future holds wonderful things for you no matter what

She's not pregnant.

Sending love and hugs. Be kind to yourself and please take some you time. 💞

Oh shit, sorry, should have rtft OP.

We had icsi due to a sperm problem - my lovely consultant told me that I was his favourite type of patient because once he’d found some swimmers he knew he was on to a winner. He was - she’s in the garden with her friend on the swings. Could be worth a go?

Sending sympathy x It could've been an early miscarriage which is why it's so heavy so take care and get meds if it gets too heavy.

I've been unable to carry a pregnancy beyond eight weeks since having my first with no problems at all.

I’m sorry OP (should have rtft too). 💐

I got pregnant at 44 and had the baby at 45. :) She is now 2 and her elder sisters are 16 and 13. Doctors were neither surprised nor worried and the pregnancy was totally smooth. The baby is perfect. It’s the greatest gift and I am grateful for her every day

@Meili04

the study that produced the ‘chances of natural pregnancy over 40 is 1-2%’ is wrong, yes.

oe rather very very outdated.

‘The widely cited statistic that one in three women ages 35 to 39 will not be pregnant after a year of trying, for instance, is based on an article published in 2004 in the journal Human Reproduction. Rarely mentioned is the source of the data: French birth records from 1670 to 1830. The chance of remaining childless—30 percent—was also calculated based on historical populations.’

Full Atlantic article the quote is taken from

i had children born aged 36 and 41. Most of my friends had their first baby over 35.

my and their combine life experience is it’s 50/50. Half my friends found it easy to get pregnant and had the number of children they wanted, getting pregnant promptly when they tried to.

the other half found it got tougher the older you got.

And in particular, if you have other issues (eg I was on a mini pill after baby no 1 that messed up my cycle, another friend has an undiagnosed genetic condition whcih makes getting and staying pregnant difficult).

but over 35 the NHS will tell you any and all issues are down to your age. I got no help at all ans had to go private for treatment. Friend with genetic condition got help after she eventually had a pregnancy go past 8 weeks aged 39 after multiple miscarriages over the previous four years.

of friend where we’re close enough to know the details - 6 pregnancies aged 40+, 3 natural conception, 3 ivf.

other stats show that aged 40 on average a woman has a 5% chance of conceiving each cycle (vs average chance of 25% each cycle in women under 30 yes old).

so trying for 20 months aged 39-40 should result in pregnancy.

i also found the age and health of the father matters. My DH is a little older and tends to live a high stress lifestyle. IVF revealed his side was contributing too. We eventually got pregnant once he’d made lifestyle changes too. More sleep and exercise. Better nutrition, less stress, no laptop on his lap for hours during work marathons!

Sending you well wishes. My sister and I are daughters of an older mum (40 & 44) when she had us back in the 60s. We loved it and definitely think we kept her young. All the best 😊

How wonderful if you are x
your 10year old will be great with the baby I’m sure xxx

I had my first 3 months before my 45th birthday.
After 2 miscarriages I couldn’t relax and was really stressed all the way through.
Needn’t have worried the pregnancy went well.
That was 21 years ago and I was fortunate in that I’ve always been young looking for my age so one thinking I was nan.
I was bored taking DD to birthday parties where everyone was half my age but luckily my friends Dd had a baby near enough the same time and being in the same area went to the same parties and events so I usually had someone my age to chat to.
I was quite chilled bringing DD up. Nothing fazed me much and her friends think I’m cool.
My DH who was 17 years older than me died of a heart attack when DD was 3 years old and that was extremely hard becoming a single mother but we got through. DH had been married before and had two dcs.
You’ll probably be fine I wouldn’t worry about it,take things as they come and go with the flow.
Congratulations if you get a positive result 💞

I had two more babies at 42 and 44. My husband is 56. We also have a 15 and 13 year old. This is how it’s going: dh is out fishing with 2 year old. 15 year old is grounded but won’t come home. He was a rascal before though. 13 year old is great. One year is the light of my life and napping. Started keto and intermittent fasting. Dh has be obese for years, but has dropped 40 lbs and is weight lifting first time since married. I am almost breaking 130 lbs, lighter than before I was pregnant with two year old. Life is great. The babies are perfect. Easy pregnancies and births. Had epidurals. I do stay up worrying sometimes if the babies will be slighted in 20 years. Your mind just goes there. New to Christianity though and know that every thing is meant to be and every baby a new soul to bring to Jesus. Good luck!

Hey, I'm in the same position as you, did you take a test? (I'm sorry iv not read all the messages). Iv not had af for 2 yrs, but it miraculously returned last month after having major surgery early on this year! I'm a week late. I'm still in recovering from surgery so not sure my consultants would be very impressed if I am pregnant. I'm 42, had 10 miscarriages over 10 yrs ago.

Personally I had a baby at 39, very nearly 40. Baby girl is 8 months old now and I still regret it. I have a fabulous 8 year old son and a great 22 year old daughter. I regret it because of the freedoms I have lost, and I fear I won’t be getting them back until I’m now too old to even enjoy them. It’s been a terrible shock going back to sleepless nights and endless planning for, what should be, simple days out. We can’t take a foreign holiday this year as it just seems impossible, which is usually something I live for. Nights out are now impossible, as no one is keen to care for a baby overnight. Not to mention the restrictions that sleep schedules now impose on my life, and the worry of returning to work with a small baby to simultaneously care for.

I love my baby dd to pieces but it doesn’t change the fact that I’d not have had her if I could go baby in time. Just being honest.

please don’t take thistle wrong way , I understand why you felonious this as I have a 21 a 7 and a 1 year old , but try and feel more positive . We felt a bit lost too but she turned one not long ago and we decided this year we would do everything anyway , we traveled through Europe with all kid snit long ago and we are off to Disneyland in a couple of months . She did surprisingly well , everyone still had fun . I don’t feel the need to be as struct with this baby regarding time tabela etc so that helped a bit . The only thing I still struggle a bit is work/ baby time , but that because I’m the main earner so I’m very aware my job is extremely important .
good luck . Try and enjoy stuff anyway .

My dear late Mum was 42 when she had me … my best friend ❤️… This was 1963 when it was more taboo …
congratulations… We were so close … 🙏❤️

She isn't pregnant!

Yes even though OP has been very magnanimous in saying she’s happy for the stories to continue I find it odd that posters don’t even reference the fact that OP is disappointed not to be pregnant. It only takes a few minutes to read all the OP’s posts!
Anyway I’m sorry to hear you didn’t get the result you wanted OP.

I had my second child at 43 and it was totally fine!! I was told at 30 I had declining fertility and didn’t have time on my side. However, I both my kids in my 40’s. You will be fine. Hope it all goes well for you

I fell pregnant at 43
had my son 2 months before i turned 44
easy pregnancy, no problems
hes now 4 and a half

Op, I’m sorry it wasn’t the news you were hoping for. Hugs to you all. I just wanted to say that my husband was similar to yours… infact his consultant said his sperm were so slow that they were on crutches! We went on to have two more children naturally, my last at 42, so it is possible. Never give up hope. X

Wow amazing ! Can I ask what those tests are? Tx

I found out I was pregnant at 45 !!!! I thought that I had hit the menopause hence no periods! We were planning my eldest sons 21st birthday at the time and I had awful morning sickness. Once I came round to the idea I felt completely blessed to be a mummy again. My elder two children 21 year old and 19 year old were so excited to be having another sibling. Fast forward in time - I am 60 years old with a 15 year old and it’s really hard ! I was really only thinking about my 45 year old self with a lovely baby - not really looking ahead to what it would be like as I got older dealing with an hormonal teen!! My elder children have families so I also have grandchildren to stay along with teens going in and out sometimes my house is like a three ring circus!!!