Pregnant at 43?!

[Stripypillow]

I haven’t actually taken a test yet because I’m a bit scared to. Mostly because it would be an amazing but terrifying thing to be pregnant! I am 10 days late, and feel pregnant (headachey, sore boobs, sort of strange feeling that I had last time).

DH and I thought we couldn’t have another dc, we were told we had secondary infertility and conceiving naturally would be highly unlikely. DS is 10!

I know I might not even be pregnant. But if I am… anyone else had a baby at 43?! How did it go? I’m terrified for so many reasons! One that I’m not pregnant and have let myself fantasise about it for the last couple of days, another that I am and would miscarry because of my age, another that I am and would feel like an old mum…

I live in an area where women having babies in their 40s is normal. I have friends with babies and toddlers, so wouldn’t be completely left out.

Anyone had a baby at 43? How did it go?

@Noangelbuthavingfun CVS, Chorionic Villus Sampling, is a diagnostic test for chromosomal abnormalities using cells from the placenta , taken from 10-13 weeks and NIPT is a blood test which uses fetal DNA to screen for them. It wasn't available in the UK when I had my baby, but evidently the NHS were interested in researching it's accuracy at that time.

Hugs xx

I'll be 41 in June and just had my daughter, born a healthy and happy baby on 9th April. Pregnancy was a dream, soooo easy, no morning sickness or any complications. Labour was OK... forceps delivery in the end. Its the aftermath of birth no one tells you of, I really struggled with that and the sleep deprivation is awful. But I'm currently laid with baba asleep on my chest and feel like the luckiest person alive. It can happen so don't feel too old nor give up hope 😊

First baby at 40, second at 42. Both ivf. Easy pregnancies and both are happy and healthy. I feel old sometimes in comparison but I look younger so it’s fine. I think you’ll be grand. Being a good parent has nothing to do with age.

I am 71 and have 2 grandsons of 4.5 years and 21 months. I count myself incredibly lucky as I have only 1 child. I see them most weeks and really enjoy their increasing abilities and development. I was 36 when my dd was born so I'm lucky she decided to have children a little earlier than me, partly so I'd still be around I think. I can still run after them and pick them up. I'm sure you'll be a lovely granny and it sure gives you an incentive to keep fit.

My mum had me at 40 in 1972. She’s 90 now and dad is 92. They continue to be epic, wise parents. I am very fortunate. Good luck to you OP.

OP I'm so sorry you didn't get the result you wanted. This happened to me a couple of years ago - late period, got my hopes up, but it was not to be. I have a gorgeous 10 year old son, but I would have loved to have had another. I'm 50 now, so that ship has sailed! Take care of yourself 💐

My heart breaks for you. I wish things went the way you hoped for.

I had my DD at 43. My Mum had me at 46. My DD, is now 19. Loved every minute and I feel she's kept me young. Hope your test is positive. 😊

You might want to read the OP's updates.

What is are your husbands feelings? If you both 100% agree then fine l.

howe second child can be overwhelming in normal circumstances. Proceed with extreme caution IMHO

Ah @Stripypillow I am really sorry to see your update and I feel your pain. We too suffered from secondary infertility with no obvious explanation despite ALL the tests.

We were very fortunate to have 1 dc, conceived the first month of trying when I was 35 almost 36. Text book pregnancy and birth, fabulous baby etc. When dc turned 2 and I was about to turn 38 we decided to try for baby no 2.

Nada...we tried naturally until I turned 40 and then began all the invasive test and treatments. IUI's and IVF - all failed. After the IVF I was really depleted and became quite sick so we were forced to park it. I was devasted. DH was more worried about me than he was about a second baby at that stage.

I grieved and mourned and finally took a promotion in work (which I had been reluctant to pursue when I thought I would be taking time off for maternity etc.

Eventually I started to make peace with it and stop obsessing. Life was good and dc was thriving. Until one night I was lying on the sofa feeling really rotten. I was exhausted and nauseous and just felt weirdly 'off'. I suddenly had a moment of 'oh I've felt like this before a loooooong time ago'...and it was like a lightbulb moment.

I started counting up when I last had a period and realised I didn't actually really know! Dc was now 9 years old and I was 45 and we had long given up all hope or even thoughts of a second baby.

Next day I did a test and it said pregnant and I honestly almost fainted!

Needless to say in that split second all the old hopes and longing resurfaced and we began imagining a new future etc.

Sadly this wasn't to be and I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks which was a long drawn out, hugely traumatic affair and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I think nature was so cruel really.

Having said that, we would 100% have embraced a new baby if things had worked out and dc would have been 10 by the time it was due to be born.

Stay strong OP, it's a very tough path xx

I had one at 44, she's nearly 7. It hasn't felt much different this time round, had my previous girl aged 21. I'm much calmer now though.

Oh god I’m so sorry my bad 🤦🏻‍♀️

I got a false positive as well recently. Very weird because it’s rare.

Did it take you a long time to conceive? I was reading that women in our 40s only have 10% good eggs!

Gosh so sorry to read your story. Heartbreaking. I hope you were able to recover ok. I think the media has done damage in making women think that pregnancy/healthy birth is normal mid 40s.